[Rapunkkzel]

I know someone who has children with different fathers. She is a good mum, no different to any other mums I know, she works, she's not on benefits, she's not tarty, in a relationship or looking for one
She doesnt tell anyone xcept close friends and family that the children have different dads, if asked directly she'll lie and say no they all have the same father. i think she shouldnt have to, but she thinks because of stigma to her and her kids she does have to.

Sooooooo i thought Id ask what people thought. Are mothers with different fathers for their kids usually judged harshly, even if theyre good mothers? do you think that say, two different fathers is understandable, but three or more indicates some character flaw of the woman?

(obviously I don't think this,, myself)

[Monroe]

Each to their own I guess.
Who am I to judge a perfectly capable mum if she has several children to different men, it doesn't worry me I know a few women in this situation and I treat them the same as my friends with 3 children to the same father.

[Amanda_R]

Some people THINK it reflects poorly on the mother and the children, but the reality is it is no real indication of who or what that person is. Pre-conceived ideas and stereotypes are more often than not way off the mark.

Unfortunately doesn't stop it from happening. Some people choose to believe what they want, even if it has no connection to reality whatsoever.

[Jellyblush]

I know someone who has children with different fathers. She is a good mum, no different to any other mums I know, she works, she's not on benefits, she's not tarty, in a relationship or looking for one

Even the fact you needed to qualify this way, sadly, speaks volumes

Personally, I wouldn't judge. My brother & I have different dads. It makes no difference, we are still 100% family.

Are they 'usually' judged? I don't know, I guess the only people that would know are mums in this situation *toddles off to ask mine*

[LisaMaree82]

My DS has a different bio dad. It is a non issue for us. People don't know unless it comes up, I am not ashamed of it at all. All my kids look totally different from each other so no one picks up on it.

My Dad's ex on the other hand has 5 kids, the 1 and 3 have the same dad. 2 has a different dad but thinks that 1 and 3's dad is her dad. 3 thinks that my dad is her dad. 4 and 5 are my dad's kids, they live with him. She is now pregnant to a 4th man with #6. She is the stereotype, on welfare and her parenting borders on neglect the majority of the time To quote another eb'er this week, call me judgy mcjudgy.

Lisa

This post has been edited by LisaMaree82: 31/10/2010, 07:56 PM

[SlowEmotionRepla...]

What about fathers with children to different women?

If you really don't care - then why do you care enough to ask?

[*soy-latte*]

If you really don't care - then why do you care enough to ask?

That is what I thought.

What if there are two different fathers due to the death of the first partner? Does that make a difference?

[jfl]

Despite your carefully crafted question, what you seem to be asking is 'are they sl*ts? How many different fathers before they are or are not?'

Presumably your objective is to stir up a fight, over a meaningless 'issue'.

[Brolynbub]

Huh, well if they are judged, one day I guess I will be too. I have no intention of ever letting my ex near me with a 50ft pole, so if I choose to have another child at a later stage, they will have different fathers.

[*Barbra*]

I can't even imagine where a question like that would be asked in general, if any conversation.