[loropetalum]

Another rehash on the helicopter parents theme.

I caught an interview with Lenore Skenazy who caused outrage when she wrote about leaving her 9yo at a department store in NYC. She gave him some cash, a train ticket and a train map and left him, trusting him to get home safely. He'd be peskering her to give him some independence for weeks (and he did get home safely.)

She makes some interesting points about crime rates actually declining over the years, but various factors such as the media's obsession with reporting crime stories feeding into our anxiety as parents.

Personally, I'm not sure whether I could leave my 9yo child at the shops and not feel the urge to trail him home. (BTW My only child is 15mo at the moment.)

So, how free range are your kids? Would you do what Lenore did?

[3_for_me]

I'm not sure i'd do it at 9, maybe a few years older and with a friend or two, and probably only if they were familiar with the route home

My kids(nearly 4 year old included) play in the park down the end of the street with a group of neighbourhood kids(aged 4-8), I can't see them there and they are often gone for hours, every now and then one of the parents goes and checks on them.

[censura carnero]

I really struggle with this concept but I was brought up with a worry wart as a mother. I let my kids free range over our house and the back yard but being free range all over the neighbourhood or city is another matter. I'm undecided but I kind of feel it's very much relying on the kindness of strangers if your kids get into trouble and expecting others to pull them up if they do the wrong thing. I think kids should be scaffolded to take on different responsibilities, gradually building them up step by step to take care of themselves.

As i said it's a concept I completely struggle with but I'm not necessarlily absolutely opposed to.

[censura carnero]

My kids(nearly 4 year old included) play in the park down the end of the street with a group of neighbourhood kids(aged 4-8), I can't see them there and they are often gone for hours, every now and then one of the parents goes and checks on them.

WoW! I have a four year old and absolutely no way would I let him do that. I guess you're really hoping that older kids are paying enough attention should your little one get into trouble that they would be able to race home to tell you. I find that fairly irresponsible actually.

[PinkSocks]

I would do it but I would follow behind without her knowing I was there! (DD is only 16months aswell)

Although I know at 9 I would have been able to find my way home!

[eleishas]

Given the poor state of trains in Melb. I wouldn't catch one myself let alone have my child do it.

[Tofu Puff]

Would you do what Lenore did?

No way. I am a "worry wart" too. And I make no apologies for it.

[Guest_tickle_*]

WoW! I have a four year old and absolutely no way would I let him do that. I guess you're really hoping that older kids are paying enough attention should your little one get into trouble that they would be able to race home to tell you. I find that fairly irresponsible actually.

I'm not a parent yet however there is so much discussion around about people being overprotective of their children. Every situation is different. I'm sure 3forme has assessed the risks and decided it's relatively safe for her children. She doesn't seem like a neglectful and irresponsible parent to me from some of her other posts.

[MightyMummy]

WoW! I have a four year old and absolutely no way would I let him do that. I guess you're really hoping that older kids are paying enough attention should your little one get into trouble that they would be able to race home to tell you. I find that fairly irresponsible actually.

Ditto. Not fairly, COMPLETELY irresponsible to leave an almost 4 year old in the care of a non-adult at any time (presumably the older siblings were supposed to be the safeguard, puhlease).

I think free range parenting is bollocks. Its just irresponsibility and has NOTHING to do with crime rates. Kids are just as likely to step out in front of a car, get lost or simply very very upset as they are to be crime victims. Of course Lenore doesn't give a sh*t about that.

I was parented by the ultimate helicopter parents and I'm grateful to them. I hope I do as good a job. And no I didn't resent them at the time either. And I didn't grow up to be some kind of scaredy cat incompetent who couldn't take care of herself alone in unavoidable risks either. I guess it just depends how good you are at explaining your reasons for supervision to the kids and how intelligent they are at understanding those reasons.

BTW Mr 6 could definitely get himself home from most places he's ever likely to be at this age (school, shops, grandma's) and Mr 4 probably could too, and yes I teach them how to do this while I am with them and I am confident if they had to they could. I am not as insecure as Lenore, I don't need to "test" them by putting them at risk for no reason.

This post has been edited by MightyMummy: 29/09/2010, 10:25 PM

[Fabulous]

If they lived in NYC and the 9yo was familiar with the subway and everything then I think it may be okay to do such a thing. When I visited NYC I felt really safe, even when walking alone at 10pm at night. That's when I used to visit the grocery shop. I have never felt like that elsewhere.