[prue~c]

I was having a trawl around the Essential Baby forums the other day, and a thread got me thinking. It was a group of ladies all confessing the things they had done in the hope that it would get them pregnant. They were all long timers, so the confessions went from the basic (I gave up coffee, chocolate and booze) to the extreme – one girl confessing she was on the verge of purchasing a spell for fertility. To an outsider, this might seem a little ridiculous but to the long time IVFer, perfectly reasonable.

It tends to start off tame. Coffee, grog and junk food are the first things to go from the diet. Then as the months wear on, the line of vitamin bottles on the bathroom shelf grows while the “banned” list gets ever long. No food with numbers in it, no refined carbs, nothing “white”, no deli foods, no take-away.

Once the diet is sorted out and still nothing happening, it's time to look at other things in your daily routine. No baths after ovulation, no exercise other than walking, no massages, no pilates, no yoga, no sex after ovulation, no dyeing of the hair, no waxing of the legs or bikini line.

The myths go on.

Before long, the esoteric comes in to play. Just last night I spent several hours on eBay trawling for the right silver pomegranate charm. Pomegranates, you see, are fertility symbols in many cultures. I already have one, but it doesn't seem to be doing much good, so I thought I would see what else was on offer. I found the perfect thing. It's a Hamsa in silver, with blue enamel infill and a trio of red pomegranates in the centre. I'm not Jewish, but one turns to all faiths four years in.

I have also added wheatgrass juice bd (that's doctor-speak for twice a day. We become adept at it after a while) and Vitamin E to the regimen. Apparently they are good to boost oestrogen levels, which I need for my sadly lacking endometrium (the bit the embryo buries into) and even though I take pills for it, a bit of an extra boost can't hurt, right?

But the need to grab on to any hope gets stronger and more desperate as time goes on. In Ben Elton's Inconceivable, which, as I have mentioned in previous posts, is the only book on infertility worth reading, the heroine, Lucy, insists her husband shag her at midnight on a full moon at the top of Primrose Hill in London. I totally get her. I would do the same thing, had I a local fertile spot to shag upon. On our honeymoon in Thailand, I made a pilgrimage to the famous giant phallus fertility shrine in the hope that some of it would rub off on me.

But probably the saddest thing I have done in my quest for fertility happened late last year.

I had been reading something, somewhere about the healing fertile rays of the moon, and the eve of this particular full moon was meant to be especially powerful. The best way to absorb the moon's rays is, of course, in the buff.

So I did.

I took a turn about the shared backyard of my apartment block, skyclad, absorbing the fertile rays of the moon (and at this point, I would like to send a shout-out to my upstairs and next-door neighbours) in the hope it would help me get knocked up.

It didn't.

But the other night, I saw the full moon again, and as soon as the weather warms up, I'll be back out there. I might even get myself a rose quartz to clutch – absolutely proven to help.

[Elemental]

I'll buy one in sympathy if it helps. When's beta?

[Megami]

I'm laughing, but it's bittersweet, as I can empathise that it is really a 'you have to laugh or you cry' situation. Really hoping the sky-clad, midnight crystal clutching works.

[EBeditor]

Best laugh I've had all day. I'm sure many of us would dance skyclad for you if it attracted the desired result.

[LynnyP]

Oh Prue, why am I crying when you are so funny?

[Guest_sianbe_*]

Prue, you need to see the "baby-maker" -Diana at Bella Vista Natural Therapies near Baulkham Hills. She's a mid-wife too so you can get the complete package. Australian indigenous women always 'took the waters' at Plummer's Point north of Sydney to enhance fertility.

[LittleRB]

Prue - I never know whether to laugh or cry when I read your blogs. But at least I always know they're going to be honest.

Can't believe I'm sharing this but oh well...

I heard somewhere that you if you hold your legs in the air after doing the deed for like 20 minutes or so, it helps your partners' little critters to get where they need to go. Something to do with the angle helping the sperm get into the womb quicker, therefore aiding the sperm to reach the egg (made sense to me). During our 6 (unsuccessful) rounds of clomid, EVERY single time we had sex I would lie there with my legs in the air and literally time it for 20 minutes.

Before our first try at IVF, I had an ultrasound and the sonographer mentioned that I have a retroverted uterus. Which means my uterus is angled in the opposite direction to what it normally would be.

Which means for the substantial number of times we had sex during 6 whole clomid cycles, I was sending the sperm the wrong way.

[Guest_Descentia_*]

I'm sure many of us would dance skyclad for you if it attracted the desired result.

Yes.

Oh Prue, why am I crying when you are so funny?

Agreed. Out of all your well written posts, this is the one that makes me want to cry the most.

This post has been edited by Descentia: 04/09/2010, 12:35 PM

[Spaniel]

Oh Prue, I love your blog - you have made me smile and reminded me of all of those things that I did during IVF - I would have avoided cracks in the pavement and worn live pomegrantes on my ears if there was a study on the internet saying it might improve my chances of conceiving. In a rare fit of sanity I removed all fertility charms, books etc from my house after we stopped IVF. However, I now have a shrine for our adopted baby that we are waiting to be matched with, a very manky rope around my wrist that I can't take off because it is blessed with a protection spell for baby X. I also pray for baby X every day and find myself including everybody I can think of (Jesus, Durga, Gaia etc) just in case I upset a deity. When I add Apollo to my list I'll know that I have finally lost the plot .

[~natt~]

I hear ya Prue!
Your post triggered memories of my own superstitions when I was ttc #1 (5 1/2 years worth of trying and trying and tx). Things that spring to mind:
* the colour orange. It's the positive energy colour in reiki... this obsession led to orange earings, orange socks, socks with something orange on them, underwear with something orange, orange shampoo and conditioner bottles, orange scarves, orange clothes, even an elmo toy (because his nose is orange you know!) When we had egg retrieval for icsi, I begged my specialist to pleaaaaaaaaaase let me keep my special orange socks on! He did
* rose quartz
* after bms (on the off chance that it might work), laying with several pillows under my butt to help the sperm get to it's destination
* believing in anything that might increase my chances... and I mean anything... like the strange lady who cast a spell and said I would have a son... or the friend who could see into the future and predicted a happy family with an older daughter, living in a red brick house.
* Positive visualisation. I spent hours crying bucket loads of tears whilst trying to picture me with a child (I don't know why I tortured myself!)

I wish you all the best for your journey Prue, and am sending some babydust your way (magical fairy sprinkles that increases fertility).....