[SoxyMama]

'I Look Disgusting'. This is what a little girl (about to turn 5) said visiting for a playdate and I felt sad she felt this way about herself. Story was they were dressing up and my DD put a pretty dress on, and we found some nice dressups (pretty skirt) for her and she commented that she looked disgusting. My girls haven't really been aware enough about themselves or how they look to say this. It wasn't just a comment, you could tell she meant it.

Is it common for kids under 5 to have this view of the way they looked? Just interested as its a new thing mine are only 3 and 5 but I haven't come across this behaviour before.

Of course I know its something we'll hit when they are older - but wondering what your experiences were with children and self-perception and what age they start to be more concerned about how the look.

I don't mean that my kids don't care - they like to wear pretty things etc so obviously care. But I haven't heard them put themselves down before.

This post has been edited by DarlingBudsofMay: 17/07/2010, 05:33 PM

[writestuff]

Is it possible that she just thought the outfit was disgusting? My 4 year old would say that if she didn't like something she was wearing and she has quite staggering self esteem!

[babblefish]

I haven't come across a child that young who has a self perception like this. That is very sad.

My son 3.5yo has the concept of looking handsome when we cut his hair or put clean clothes on (i don't make a fuss of good v play clothes, just when we put on a new clean set of clothes....)

From Kindy he has learned that certain clothes are 'cool' for example jeans and a hooded jumper =
"i'm a cooler boy"

[SoxyMama]

Is it possible that she just thought the outfit was disgusting? My 4 year old would say that if she didn't like something she was wearing and she has quite staggering self esteem!

She wanted a dress as pretty as my DD's. The skirt trust me is nice, and she's never thought it before as they've used the dressups plenty of times. But I felt it innapropriate to undress her and change her into my daughter's clothes, so I felt just better to have dressups over the top. My DD did insist half way through the playdate to put her 'pretty' dress on so I know the girl was probably jealous of this. Perhaps this is all it was.

This post has been edited by DarlingBudsofMay: 17/07/2010, 05:36 PM

[SoxyMama]

I haven't come across a child that young who has a self perception like this. That is very sad.

My son 3.5yo has the concept of looking handsome when we cut his hair or put clean clothes on (i don't make a fuss of good v play clothes, just when we put on a new clean set of clothes....)

From Kindy he has learned that certain clothes are 'cool' for example jeans and a hooded jumper =
"i'm a cooler boy"

Yeah my kids say that and they like being told they are beautiful. What's funny though if I say you look 'cool' or you look 'awesome' my eldest says they are terrible words (ie very uncool to say) and the correct word is beautiful. So yeah they do have that part of the self esteem (maybe too much so).

But I did find it sad the little girl could even think those words and say them about herself Not at that age.

[sassymummy]

Could it come from her own mother/older sisters/etc?

I've learnt that I need to stop worrying about my weight openly. It needs to be something kept private, and I have to learn to praise how I look around my daughter.

She is 5 next week... and for a few months, she had been cutting back on her eating. She was the type of kid who would eat everything - we would joke about how it was one of her favourite things to do. I figured maybe she'd just gotten less hungry... but then, I heard her oversay to another child (when offered some Shapes biscuits), "No thanks, I don't want to get fat."

I felt like the worst mother alive.

I think we've gotten over it now - she seems to have dropped it, and some of it may have just been her copying me, as she tends to like to do that... but whatever was causing it, it obviously wasn't good.

[Apple Blossom]

Sad, and - not normal IMO.