[KHK]

Aussiebelle,
I know how you are feeling we lost our little boy Kobi Hunter on the 11th April 2010, he was born at 38weeks. I have spent the last 8 weeks planning a funeral service taking a holiday and now doing as much as I can to keep his memory alive. The types of things I have done I have listed at the end and they have very much helped.

I slept with a teddy bear that my sister had bought Kobi when we passed the 12 week scan. I have had 2 previous miscarriages, we have no living children, Kobi would have been our first. I almost packed it to take on holidays as I had not slept without it since leaving the hospital.

We had Kobi cremated and we think we may split his ashes and have a memorial site at the cemetary but also scatter them at the beach as this is significant to us. We had balloons at his service that spelt his name, we later released them with our nieces and nephews.

Do whatever you think is right for you there are no right or wrong answers. There are websites that you can also order jewellery where you can keep some ashes with you if that is something you wish to do.

What we have done;

• My family registered a star in his name so wherever we are we know that he is always with us. We are currently looking to buy a telescope.
• My husband got a tatoo, I have ordered jewellery that i can always wear from uberkate.com.au, they have some beautiful things.
• We are having someone do a sketch of Kobi from the photos that we can share with family and friends as it is difficult not to have something that you can show, (unfortunately Kobi's physical condition was not good and therefore photos cannot really be shared). They were referred to us by SANDS
• We were lucky enough that a friend arranged moulds of Kobi's hands and feet so these are being bronzed and framed.
• We are putting together an album for Kobi including his birth certificates, hair, photos etc.

If you think it would help SANDS offer a 24/7 phone service where you can ring and talk to someone who has been through what you are experiencing.
I have only started on these forum sites since losing Kobi but it is amazing the type of comfort you can get from knowing someone else is going through the same thing.

[Melmac1980]

I still have my daughter's ashes in the container I got from the funeral home as I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with them. It sits on my bedside table. She died on 13/11/09.

I'm glad I gave it some time to think it through. I've now found a beautiful urn necklace that you can put a small portion of the ashes in and carry them close to your heart for ever.

I also found a nice childs trinket box that I am going to put them in and seal. It's not a traditional urn, but it beautiful and suits what I was looking for.

I can send you the links if you like?

xx

[aussiebella]

I would love the link thankyou

My husband wants to get a necklace with a little holder for her ashes. I'm considering it too.
My only concern is seperating the ashes. I feel like i'd be cutting off her finger or something to put inthe locket. She didn't have enough hair to have taken hair. We have asked if they can save her cord after they do the examination (for COD)

I guess we will decide when the time comes.

[poppess]

I just wanted to say how my heartbreaks for you, Amelia Grace is a beautiful name. My daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks in December during labour for no known reason. Life is unfair...

We have a little silver and pink urn with an angel on it which have Veronica's ashes. I have them sitting with her photo, locks of her hair and other bits and pieces. I talk to them everyday and place a kiss on them every morning and night (that might make me sound a bit crazy...)

We had funeral and then a small gathering of just our immediate family when we went to the cremetorium (spelling?) - a private time to say good-bye. I don't think you have to have a funeral, you do what feels right for you and your family.

I remember feeling like I should of being doing something. I should of been bathing her or, struggling to breastfeed or something...I just felt lost and empty and I didn't want to return to 'normal' things.

KHK - I actually take a photo of Veronica with me whenever I travel now (I travel a bit with work). I just can't not have it with me and wear her photo in a locket everyday. I just need to see her with me...

This post has been edited by poppess: 07/06/2010, 09:00 PM

[*Chloe_Hayley*]

Hi aussiebella

Sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter Amelia Grace, beautiful name by the way.

DP and I had our twin girls cremated (they were born 12-10-09 @ 23.3weeks due to PROM) we didnt have a funeral service as we decided we wanted to have a little service at our home with close family and friends (the ones who showed support) We had pink and purple balloons that we attached poems and a personal message to them and let them go out on a hill near where we live, it was a beautiful and special day for us and for our girls.

I also bought a pendant urn which has a bit of my girls ashes in it, its a infinity sign and it absolutly goregous, DP finally found a pendant urn that he likes in a shape of a bullet as he likes hunting and it was a pefect urn for him, we wear or necklaces everyday. We found them on ebay lol of all places, but we love them which is the main thing. We never ended up getting an urn for their ashes, even though we looked around for something we just didnt find one we liked but we decided to let our girls ashes go at a waterfall which was a beautiful spot that DP picked out and i loved it, it was so peaceful as no one was around as its kind of hidden as you have to walk a little bit and the path was a bit overgrown, and as soon as we let their ashes go there was a butterfly that flew right around us a few times, i like to think it was them giving us a sign .

Heres a few other things:
-Im also considering getting a tattoo in memory of my girls.
-Im also doing a scrapbook up of them as we have lots of photos.
-We also got their names written in sand as theres a lady that does that for ppl who have experienced baby loss. Its called to write their names in the sand. http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/ And we got the photos blown up and they look great.
-theres also a lady who writes names on flowers too who i think is a friend of the lady who writes names in sand http://onlysayitwithflowers.blogspot.com/2...o-requests.html I havnt had this done but am considering it.
-I also have a few photos in frames of them and little bits and pieces that people gave as gifts in memory of my angels which are in the lounge.

Hope this helps a bit for you to decide what you and dh would like to do in memory of your little angel Amelia There are so many things you can do and ppl on here are great with showing support and ideas.

Sorry for the long post.

This post has been edited by ~ky~: 10/06/2010, 05:57 PM