[Possmanda]

Most of what I've read in the blogs has been on egg donation here in Australia. What I'm curious about is if there is anyone who has gone overseas for egg donation and what were their reasons?

Our reasons were: we had no relatives here that were able or willing to donate; we wanted to choose our donor, rather than the other way around; we didn't want to ask strangers for a donation (we were told to ask our hairdresser - do people really get donors that way?); the price was comparable to Australia for us (and we ended up with a holiday on top); and it was done quite quickly - within 3 months of the initial inquiry, we were back in Australia and I was pregnant! I would have done it years ago rather than waste my time and money over and over with cycles that never stood a chance of working!

For those who are doing it in Australia, what are your reasons? Are they financial? Ethical?

[louisem]

Hi I really feel for you and so I'm happy to share some of my own journey with you.
My doctor actually suggested overseas donation and I'm so happy I went with this - I now have beautiful triplet boys! At the time, there was a shortage of egg donors in Australia - probably even more so now, because although potential donors are now more aware of the need, the need seems to be growing.
I tried advertising for a donor here, but 2 women (illegally) asked for money and with others, they either lived too far away or it just didn't feel right. I was concerned in a couple of cases that the women might have unmet needs and/or become dependant or even a little dangerous. I know there are MANY fantastic donors out there, so please, this was just my experience with a couple of people.
I PREFERRED to go overseas as there is an arms-length separation. I did not meet the donor.
By the way, I don't agree that we need to know everything about the donor - the donor is not the mother, but rather a wonderful giver of POTENTIAL - how the baby develops inside you depends on your effort, body chemistry, nutrition, positive attidude etc. We knew that the donor was completely screened for diseases and conditions, and that she had enough generosity to donate eggs which she no longer needed from her own efforts to create a family - as empathy and generosity are now thought to have some genetic component, I was very happy with the situation.
The medical cost was similar to in Australia - the main cost is travelling to and from the overseas location and all the associated hotel costs, etc.
But all the effort, anxiety, waiting, costs were ALL worth it.
I'm happy to chat more about this, just let me know.
I wish you all the very best on your journey.

[bjc24]

Hi I really feel for you and so I'm happy to share some of my own journey with you.
My doctor actually suggested overseas donation and I'm so happy I went with this - I now have beautiful triplet boys! At the time, there was a shortage of egg donors in Australia - probably even more so now, because although potential donors are now more aware of the need, the need seems to be growing.
I tried advertising for a donor here, but 2 women (illegally) asked for money and with others, they either lived too far away or it just didn't feel right. I was concerned in a couple of cases that the women might have unmet needs and/or become dependant or even a little dangerous. I know there are MANY fantastic donors out there, so please, this was just my experience with a couple of people.
I PREFERRED to go overseas as there is an arms-length separation. I did not meet the donor.
By the way, I don't agree that we need to know everything about the donor - the donor is not the mother, but rather a wonderful giver of POTENTIAL - how the baby develops inside you depends on your effort, body chemistry, nutrition, positive attidude etc. We knew that the donor was completely screened for diseases and conditions, and that she had enough generosity to donate eggs which she no longer needed from her own efforts to create a family - as empathy and generosity are now thought to have some genetic component, I was very happy with the situation.
The medical cost was similar to in Australia - the main cost is travelling to and from the overseas location and all the associated hotel costs, etc.
But all the effort, anxiety, waiting, costs were ALL worth it.
I'm happy to chat more about this, just let me know.
I wish you all the very best on your journey.

[bjc24]

Hi girls
I am usually not on this forum, usually on TTC over 40s but I am curious as to your posts as I am now going down the donor egg route. I am grateful for your information as there is SO MUCH OUT THERE! It is hard to know what it best. You both were successful and at the end of the day, that is all I want. THe cost is huge as you know, but worth it if you get a result. I have done a lot of research and I think we will go to US. We have short listed some donors. However, what I would like to know is success rates. It seems that the place we are looking at in La Jolla california has an 80% success rate yet others only 60 or so. I would love to hear more about your experiences. If there is anyway I can contact you please let me know. I am 44 and totally exhausted. Just want to get this happening asap but worried that we wont have success. Perhaps you could advise me how to ensure most likely positive result. All advice very welcome. Thanks girls.

Hi I really feel for you and so I'm happy to share some of my own journey with you.
My doctor actually suggested overseas donation and I'm so happy I went with this - I now have beautiful triplet boys! At the time, there was a shortage of egg donors in Australia - probably even more so now, because although potential donors are now more aware of the need, the need seems to be growing.
I tried advertising for a donor here, but 2 women (illegally) asked for money and with others, they either lived too far away or it just didn't feel right. I was concerned in a couple of cases that the women might have unmet needs and/or become dependant or even a little dangerous. I know there are MANY fantastic donors out there, so please, this was just my experience with a couple of people.
I PREFERRED to go overseas as there is an arms-length separation. I did not meet the donor.
By the way, I don't agree that we need to know everything about the donor - the donor is not the mother, but rather a wonderful giver of POTENTIAL - how the baby develops inside you depends on your effort, body chemistry, nutrition, positive attidude etc. We knew that the donor was completely screened for diseases and conditions, and that she had enough generosity to donate eggs which she no longer needed from her own efforts to create a family - as empathy and generosity are now thought to have some genetic component, I was very happy with the situation.
The medical cost was similar to in Australia - the main cost is travelling to and from the overseas location and all the associated hotel costs, etc.
But all the effort, anxiety, waiting, costs were ALL worth it.
I'm happy to chat more about this, just let me know.
I wish you all the very best on your journey.

[Possmanda]

Hi bjc24, I've just turned 43 and I have spent over 20 years either doing IVF or saving up to do IVF; I felt the same as you do - exhausted!

We went to South Africa - it was considerably cheaper than the US, we could still pick our donor and saw both baby pictures and adult pictures of our donor (we dealt with a company that was actually based in California, so could show the adult photos; agencies that are based in South Africa aren't allowed to). We chose to go to Johannesburg, as there were direct flights there for us. The experience was wonderful in comparison to Australia. Our nurse was contactable 24/7; she even rang on her day off to let us know the numbers of embryos still developing. The lab was modern, clean and quiet and there were no blaring lights or half a dozen students in the same room. We chose to have 2 embryos replaced rather than 1, because, let's face it, I was no spring chicken! My problem relates to endometriosis tying back my tubes - the sperm wasn't getting to the eggs. By the time I could afford the IVF treatment though, I was going through perimenopause and my eggs were hard boiled!

My donor was willing to donate for altruisic purposes, but also because there was a reasonable fee to compensate her for her time and energy. I don't care for the Australian policy of not paying donors reasonable fees for their time and energy. I find that it deters many potential donors, and some of the donors that are still willing to donate seem to be unduly interested beyond the donation - they want pictures and yearly updates, they want to chose who the donation goes to (which would be unacceptable for other body parts), etc. I think that for some donors, its more of a case of lending an egg, rather than donating! That said, there are many who are generous in their spirit anyway, but I think giving a reasonable fee would actually help put it into perspective for some donors.

Even with the fee, our costs were comparable with Australia - we paid about $15,000 all up, of which $5000 was flights and accommodation, and the rest was towards the donor, the treatment, all the medications, etc. Now that the Australian dollars is so good against the greenback, it would probably be even cheaper. We even got to go to Zambia to see the Victoria Falls and went on a safari for 3 days. So even if treatment wasn't successful, we figured that we had had a wonderful holiday (and it helped stop me from obsessing over every little twinge or buying up loads of hpts!). As it happens, we ended up with stowaways...

But you want to know success rates - our clinic said between 75 to 80%. We took into account my age and the many, many years of failure at IVF and the distance we were travelling, and asked for them to replace 2 of embryos. Both grew, developed and we have 2 healthy, perky kids who look a great deal like ours would probably have looked, had we been successful with my eggs. Our donor was 30 when she donated, had already had her 2 children and didn't want any more, so was a proven donor if you like. She produced 9 eggs, of which 7 became embryos, and 5 went on to blastocyts, so very high quality! We have 3 frozen in case we want to expand our family, and I think we probably might in a few more years.

My problem was with the tubes being held down by the endo, not with my uterus. I imagine that if you have problems with the uterus, then that would bring down the success rate anyway. If, on the other hand, your problem is with hormones, age or blocked tubes, then your chances of success are very much higher. Again, my husband was fine - any issues with the sperm would also bring down your chances.

Finally, I love these kids, full stop. I am their biological mother; I grew them, gave birth to them, nurtured them - it may be to a plan that someone else has written with my husband, but I'm the brickie who built them up - without me, those plans would just be a pipe dream.

[bjc24]

Hi Possmanda
Thankyou so much for all that information! If there is any possiblity of seeing photos (adult photos), we would definitely have considered South Africa. We couldn't find a donor agency that did. I wonder if you could email me or post in the PM section for me, what the donor company name was. We estimate around $40 000 to go to the US and we are still struggling to come to terms with this. The SA option is cheaper, it was just the concern with not being able to see adult pictures.
I have no uterus issues, but my partner has low sperm count. Not terribly low, and nothing that ICSI can't bypass. I have children from previous marriage in my 20s, just have old eggs now! Thankyou again for all your help. As soon as I can access donor site I will be madly researching further.

Hi bjc24, I've just turned 43 and I have spent over 20 years either doing IVF or saving up to do IVF; I felt the same as you do - exhausted!

We went to South Africa - it was considerably cheaper than the US, we could still pick our donor and saw both baby pictures and adult pictures of our donor (we dealt with a company that was actually based in California, so could show the adult photos; agencies that are based in South Africa aren't allowed to). We chose to go to Johannesburg, as there were direct flights there for us. The experience was wonderful in comparison to Australia. Our nurse was contactable 24/7; she even rang on her day off to let us know the numbers of embryos still developing. The lab was modern, clean and quiet and there were no blaring lights or half a dozen students in the same room. We chose to have 2 embryos replaced rather than 1, because, let's face it, I was no spring chicken! My problem relates to endometriosis tying back my tubes - the sperm wasn't getting to the eggs. By the time I could afford the IVF treatment though, I was going through perimenopause and my eggs were hard boiled!

My donor was willing to donate for altruisic purposes, but also because there was a reasonable fee to compensate her for her time and energy. I don't care for the Australian policy of not paying donors reasonable fees for their time and energy. I find that it deters many potential donors, and some of the donors that are still willing to donate seem to be unduly interested beyond the donation - they want pictures and yearly updates, they want to chose who the donation goes to (which would be unacceptable for other body parts), etc. I think that for some donors, its more of a case of lending an egg, rather than donating! That said, there are many who are generous in their spirit anyway, but I think giving a reasonable fee would actually help put it into perspective for some donors.

Even with the fee, our costs were comparable with Australia - we paid about $15,000 all up, of which $5000 was flights and accommodation, and the rest was towards the donor, the treatment, all the medications, etc. Now that the Australian dollars is so good against the greenback, it would probably be even cheaper. We even got to go to Zambia to see the Victoria Falls and went on a safari for 3 days. So even if treatment wasn't successful, we figured that we had had a wonderful holiday (and it helped stop me from obsessing over every little twinge or buying up loads of hpts!). As it happens, we ended up with stowaways...

But you want to know success rates - our clinic said between 75 to 80%. We took into account my age and the many, many years of failure at IVF and the distance we were travelling, and asked for them to replace 2 of embryos. Both grew, developed and we have 2 healthy, perky kids who look a great deal like ours would probably have looked, had we been successful with my eggs. Our donor was 30 when she donated, had already had her 2 children and didn't want any more, so was a proven donor if you like. She produced 9 eggs, of which 7 became embryos, and 5 went on to blastocyts, so very high quality! We have 3 frozen in case we want to expand our family, and I think we probably might in a few more years.

My problem was with the tubes being held down by the endo, not with my uterus. I imagine that if you have problems with the uterus, then that would bring down the success rate anyway. If, on the other hand, your problem is with hormones, age or blocked tubes, then your chances of success are very much higher. Again, my husband was fine - any issues with the sperm would also bring down your chances.

Finally, I love these kids, full stop. I am their biological mother; I grew them, gave birth to them, nurtured them - it may be to a plan that someone else has written with my husband, but I'm the brickie who built them up - without me, those plans would just be a pipe dream.

[smika]

Hi Possmada,
Wow 20 years of IVF how did you ever do it. We are in the middle of arranging a donor in Cape Town.
So why are we going overseas?
We were discouraged from donation here in Australia by nearly everyone who mentioned it (medical professionals - not people who had done it). Getting an anonymous donor is apparently next to impossible and then there are lots of hurdles to cross.
I was not very comfortable having a friend donate. I don't want the circumstances of their conception to be the defining thing about my child. And I think it would be hard not to do that with the donor-mother being present in their lives. If we are lucky enough to be successful the child will know the way they were conceived but I don’t want it to be a big deal. Our agency keeps contact details ( like they do here) so one day maybe they can manage contact. The donors are mostly younger and looking to fund study. Like me I am sure if they didn't have to go down this road they would not but I am so grateful that it can be done with so much dignity.
We chose Cape Town because I have friends there and have been before and the price is manageable. It has been really simple so far choosing a donor. Our agency is Cape Town based and so we have childhood photos only although the donor we have chosen does look about 12-14 in the photo we have seen. We at the commitment stage now so it is a bit daunting.
Cape Fertility would have facilities comparable to here so I am not worried about the actual procedures.


Really nice to hear your story it has given me a lot of hope,

[Polly Ramos]

Hello my name is Polly, I live in the USA. I found your website and I am very curious about it all:)

This post has been edited by Polly Ramos: 20/05/2010, 01:03 AM

[ruby-ruby]

Hi bjc24, I've just turned 43 and I have spent over 20 years either doing IVF or saving up to do IVF; I felt the same as you do - exhausted!

We went to South Africa - it was considerably cheaper than the US, we could still pick our donor and saw both baby pictures and adult pictures of our donor (we dealt with a company that was actually based in California, so could show the adult photos; agencies that are based in South Africa aren't allowed to). We chose to go to Johannesburg, as there were direct flights there for us. The experience was wonderful in comparison to Australia. Our nurse was contactable 24/7; she even rang on her day off to let us know the numbers of embryos still developing. The lab was modern, clean and quiet and there were no blaring lights or half a dozen students in the same room. We chose to have 2 embryos replaced rather than 1, because, let's face it, I was no spring chicken! My problem relates to endometriosis tying back my tubes - the sperm wasn't getting to the eggs. By the time I could afford the IVF treatment though, I was going through perimenopause and my eggs were hard boiled!

My donor was willing to donate for altruisic purposes, but also because there was a reasonable fee to compensate her for her time and energy. I don't care for the Australian policy of not paying donors reasonable fees for their time and energy. I find that it deters many potential donors, and some of the donors that are still willing to donate seem to be unduly interested beyond the donation - they want pictures and yearly updates, they want to chose who the donation goes to (which would be unacceptable for other body parts), etc. I think that for some donors, its more of a case of lending an egg, rather than donating! That said, there are many who are generous in their spirit anyway, but I think giving a reasonable fee would actually help put it into perspective for some donors.

Even with the fee, our costs were comparable with Australia - we paid about $15,000 all up, of which $5000 was flights and accommodation, and the rest was towards the donor, the treatment, all the medications, etc. Now that the Australian dollars is so good against the greenback, it would probably be even cheaper. We even got to go to Zambia to see the Victoria Falls and went on a safari for 3 days. So even if treatment wasn't successful, we figured that we had had a wonderful holiday (and it helped stop me from obsessing over every little twinge or buying up loads of hpts!). As it happens, we ended up with stowaways...

But you want to know success rates - our clinic said between 75 to 80%. We took into account my age and the many, many years of failure at IVF and the distance we were travelling, and asked for them to replace 2 of embryos. Both grew, developed and we have 2 healthy, perky kids who look a great deal like ours would probably have looked, had we been successful with my eggs. Our donor was 30 when she donated, had already had her 2 children and didn't want any more, so was a proven donor if you like. She produced 9 eggs, of which 7 became embryos, and 5 went on to blastocyts, so very high quality! We have 3 frozen in case we want to expand our family, and I think we probably might in a few more years.

My problem was with the tubes being held down by the endo, not with my uterus. I imagine that if you have problems with the uterus, then that would bring down the success rate anyway. If, on the other hand, your problem is with hormones, age or blocked tubes, then your chances of success are very much higher. Again, my husband was fine - any issues with the sperm would also bring down your chances.

Finally, I love these kids, full stop. I am their biological mother; I grew them, gave birth to them, nurtured them - it may be to a plan that someone else has written with my husband, but I'm the brickie who built them up - without me, those plans would just be a pipe dream.

Im 42 and had 5 ivf cycles, one egg,,$15 later no baby..I was considering going o/s to south africa,,How long did you have to stay there ? I so so so want to be a mum...

[louisem]

Hi again everyone
I posted some comments about my overseas donor some time ago and I'd now like to add that I went to a clinic in Athens with whom my doctor in Sydney has personal contacts. I understand that he now also sends people to Barcelona in Spain. I would recommend that you work with a doctor in Australia (or whereever your home country is, for those from the US or elsewhere) as you need to coordinate before and after.
Ican't tell you how happy I am not to have anything to do with the donor - they gave me a beautiful potential but what happened after that is between me and the eggs.... All the best to all

This post has been edited by louisem: 09/07/2010, 06:59 AM