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Waiting for marriage?

emiboo View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:17 PM Post #11
Posts: 1,204 Joined: 9-September 09 From: Sydney
Advanced Member
My DH and I waited until our pastor said, "[DH's name], you may now kiss your bride!". I think it's wonderful that he's worked with his wife to put a porn blocker on his computer; he is showing commitment to his choice to keep his marriage bed pure, and he is not venturing as close to the edge as he possibly can. Like paradox said, don't knock it until you try it. Or know someone personally who has tried it and still believes that they would've been better off making out before getting married. And yeah, it definitely has had a lasting effect on our marriage. We have honoured God in this part of our relationship, and chosen to not start kissing before marriage, as we knew that kissing may've led to sexual touching, removal of clothes, grinding... what have you. Sure, maybe we could've stopped at just kissing. But God wants us to proactively obey Him, rather than search for loopholes or see how close we can get to sex but not really have sex. QUOTE I mean what the? I mean he has self control, he did wait 18 months to so much as kiss his bride to be. By the way, self-control is seriously compromised when you are alone. When he was with his bride-to-be, he had her to keep him accountable. When he is alone at home in front of his computer, he has no other person in the room to keep him accountable. Hence the porn blocker. This post has been edited by emiboo: 22/02/2010, 02:19 PM

Wut?? View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:18 PM Post #12
Posts: 5,586 Joined: 19-March 09 From: Melbourne
+
Hmmm. I smell a rat. What kind of spouse marries his beloved after being cellibate for so long and then ups and moves to London? And the partner is ok with that? I wonder if she is restricted from using any, um...things. This post has been edited by getbacktobed: 22/02/2010, 02:22 PM

emiboo View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:23 PM Post #13
Posts: 1,204 Joined: 9-September 09 From: Sydney
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QUOTE Like you say, if he had the restraint to wait that long, how can he think there's a possibility he'll not have the restraint to not look at porn? What I said above. QUOTE I'm also of the opinion that when 'waiting for marriage' types don't rush into getting married (as so many of them do it young just so they can have sex, although it would never occur to them that those lustful feelings are anything more than being madly in god-ordained love) there is something abnormal with one or both of them, whether it be super-low libido or freaky freaky sexual preferences, or one/both is gay... Hmm... how about one or both of them want to honour God's commandments?

paradox View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:24 PM Post #14
Posts: 460 Joined: 30-July 09
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what "um-thing"?

paradox View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:28 PM Post #15
Posts: 460 Joined: 30-July 09
Member
a close friend went to england for 4 months for uni after getting married earlier that year - the distance was really hard for them, but he supported her dream of seeing England. Nothing wrong with their relationship. Do you think everyone who has to work away from from thir spouse is escaping a bad marriage? Or is this because they have made choices you have not that you want to think badly of their relationship? edited for spelling This post has been edited by paradox: 22/02/2010, 02:32 PM

CallMeProtart View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:30 PM Post #16
Posts: 9,734 Joined: 4-February 09
or Fembo maybe...
QUOTE (emiboo @ 22/02/2010, 03:17 PM) as we knew that kissing may've led to sexual touching, removal of clothes, grinding... what have you. Sure, maybe we could've stopped at just kissing. But God wants us to proactively obey Him, rather than search for loopholes or see how close we can get to sex but not really have sex. How about holding hands? Because, you know, holding hands can lead to kissing which... well you know the rest. Hmmm. Or even sitting next to each other. Because sitting next to each other could lead to your shoulders touching which could lead to your hands touching which could lead to holding hands which could lead to kissing... etc etc Seriously, just because you draw the line earlier than someone else doesn't make where they draw it 'looking for loopholes'. Under that logic really the only completely guilt free relationship would be an arranged marriage where you never see them beforehand - those guys could accuse you of 'looking for loopholes' by seeing and hanging out with eachother - I mean who knows what that could lead to...

CallMeProtart View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:32 PM Post #17
Posts: 9,734 Joined: 4-February 09
or Fembo maybe...
QUOTE (mummame @ 22/02/2010, 02:39 PM) I mean what the? I mean he has self control, he did wait 18 months to so much as kiss his bride to be. Hmmm... maybe THAT's how he kept himself entertained while waiting for that kiss... Wonder if one of them will come out of the closet in a few years

justpeppermint View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:36 PM Post #18
Posts: 3,571 Joined: 28-May 07
Advanced Member
QUOTE And yeah, it definitely has had a lasting effect on our marriage. I don't understand? You we're married in march last year? I was expecting to see married 15 years ago or something.

Roobear View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:38 PM Post #19
Posts: 1,772 Joined: 13-July 09
Advanced Member
Each to their own I say. Even though I find logic like the OP perplexing, then again I find the whole concept of religion perplexing lol.

cinnabubble View Member Profile	22/02/2010, 02:38 PM Post #20
Posts: 11,523 Joined: 24-April 06
I like cats, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
I've heard that sex can lead to dancing too.

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