[daviesjv]

I’m going back to work part time in January (three days a week) and I haven’t been able to get my 2yo and 6 month old (both girls) into a daycare centre that I like. The only ones that have vacancies are ones that I wouldn’t leave my dog at, let alone my kids!

With two children it doesn’t work out that much dearer to hire a nanny instead, so that is the option that I’m looking at. My issue is that out of the potential nannies that I’ve interviewed, the one that I like the most is a male! I don’t know whether having a “Manny” is a good idea?

My husband reckons that it’s a bad idea – that we have daughters so we should have a girl looking after them. And also that I’ll probably still be running around trying to get myself dressed in the morning when the “Manny” arrives, which he has an issue with (I think he’s been watching too many American soaps!!) DH can be possessive so I don’t want this to cause problems between us. But truly, this chap has been the best candidate by far for the role.

What do you think?

J

Well, only you can know whether hiring a male nanny would seriously cause marital tensions – but in terms of your kids, they may well love it! Seeing as your girls probably spend more time with you than their Dad, having a male carer could provide a great balance for them.

I have asked Delia Timms, founder of findababysitter.com.au for some advice.

“It’s all about finding the right person for the job / for your family - regardless of gender!” she says. “There are many skilled males who are able to provide quality childcare.

When I contemplate this question I always think about the lovely males I come across in daily life who teach my kids at school or in swimming lessons or other extra-curricular activities (as well as all the kind and caring men I see around our school and kinder raising children). It really doesn’t matter if you are male or female – what matters most is your ability to care for children well.”

But J, Delia recommends that as with any person coming into the home (a cleaner, a tradesperson OR a babysitter, male or female) you should really be fully dressed when they arrive. That’s just a matter of basic modesty, really! Delia also suggests giving your husband a greater involvement in the hiring process than you have done thus far. “Together you can decide what characteristics, skills and attitudes are essential for your carer to possess,” she says. “If you’ve already conducted initial interviews then have your husband conduct second-round interviews with you – covering both the male and female candidates.”

As with any selection process Delia recommends that parents:

• Always view a candidate’s credentials. Including a Working with Children’s Check (in most states) or Blue Card (in Qld).

• Conduct reference checks by calling 2 recent employers

• Interview candidates face-to-face before booking the babysitter / Manny

“After reference checking I am confident that together you will choose the most appropriate person for the job,” she says. “And good luck!”

EB Members: what’s your advice for J?

[andieinvic]

I think the most important thing is to get someone who you feel will be a great fit with your family. And it sounds like you have the best feeling for a manny. I know my two girls have had a couple of great male carers, one at an occasional care centre, this guy was down on the ground with the kids, constantly on their level and had tireless energy. Another is my dd's swim coach last term, he was a fantastic influence, calm, stable and encouraging. Having said that, we currently have a young female nanny who is terrific.

I guess my advice would be as with so many parenting decisions go with your gut feel. If the best person for the job is a manny I'd go for it. Have your dh meet him before you make a decision then dh may be on board, seeing someone in person is so different from just seeing them on paper. When we hired our nanny she was the "last pick" on paper, but on meeting her was the most level headed, caring and enthusiastic person we saw.

All the best, make sure you do lots of checks as well as the gut feel, references can be invaluable.

[diamondsandpearl...]

My friends hired a manny who their children loved to bits!! I would personally hire the best person for the job regardless of being male or female. I would be going with the manny!

[Jacoby28]

Posted in error

This post has been edited by *MySunshine*: 30/12/2009, 11:56 PM

[jo074]

Personally I would never consider a male nanny no matter how wonderful they were - but then again, I would never leave my children alone with a man unless either DH or I had known them all our lives. Male teachers/daycare workers/coaches etc.. I have no problem with, but I wouldn't let any man other than my Dad, DH's dad and DH's brother be alone with my children at this stage.

I guess that is because DH and I have each known someone who we thought were truly honourable, decent men but they turned out to be paedophiles and each of these men shocked us completely - we each knew them quite well, and never would have suspected them of being "like that".

It is such a shame that I won't trust the 99.999% of men who are decent, because of the few that are not, but in my mind, my children are just too precious for me to take any kind of risk with.

[LittleMinx]

...

This post has been edited by LittleMinx: 26/05/2010, 09:57 PM

[countrykids]

I would definately hire the best person for the job... and if that person is a male then so be it. I think that my children would respond very well to having a male carer. I know 2 male nannies and they adore their jobs and the children they care for.

Although your husband doesn't approve so I wouldn't do it without both agreeing. If you get a female nanny is your husband allowed to be alone with her and the children. You said that you would be running around getting dressed in the morning.... does this mean you would be running around naked? I pull on a tracksuit before I leave my bedroom, get everyone else ready and the last thing I do is put on my good clothes ( behind closed doors ) How could your husband get jealous of this?

[MummyLicious]

Best person for the job ALWAYS regardless of gender.

I suffered @ the hands of 'bad men & womon' when I was younger....& they are family members.
My baby sister was also molested by her doctor....Those horrid creatures are out there unfortunately!!!

I am also a mother of two gorgeous girls & of course their safety & happiness must come first.
Whether they are getting babysat or going to daycare, I make sure to spend alot of time with their carers first before leaving them.

Do you have much time before a decision needs to be made?
How about having him over for lunch so you & DP can chat with him & see how he interacts with your girls.
Then maybe the next time go out together somewhere (grocery shopping, park, shopping etc) to see how he handles these situations with your children.....while you're there or nearby.
THEN go out for maybe an hour or two while Manny watches your girls.....baby steps would be my advice.
OR have him take the girls to playgroup so others/you can see how he interacts with your girls & other people.

I will be returning to work this year so I'm also looking for a Nanny /Manny & i've given myself a few mths to do so.....so I too can take babysteps.

Good luck & let us know how it goes.

[chriskq]

does someone mind filling me in on the basic costs of hiring a Nanny or Manny?

Eg: 2 kids like the OP had both under 2yrs old combined with some small house duties - what would that cost per day on average in sydney.

Kind Regards

[paula89]

hi Chriskq,
I just saw your question and thought I would help you out if you were still wondering about nanny rates. I worked as a nanny before I fell pregnant and with me it was always something that I negotiated with potential employers. Every nanny charges differently, but there are some basic rate that most seem to go by.

On average, a properly qualified nanny (first aid certificate, blue card, references etc.) would ask for between $15-20 an hour, for two kids and light housework. Some want less - I would be wary about the skills and experience of some of those younger girls who just want $10/hour.

The best thing you can just do is leave the pay amount open, and talk to the candidates about it when you interview them