[mama-peate]

Hello all mums/ dads and parents to be,

Lately (the past few months) I have been feeling an overwhelming desire and readiness to start a family. It’s all I can think, dream and talk to DH about!

My DH and I have been together of 5 years and are both in our early twenties. My DH and I bought our home when I was 18 (with 3 bedrooms and a nice big backyard ready for the family we would eventually build), got married when I was 19 and have been very happy since. People told us we were to young and ‘rushing into things’ but I can honestly say it’s two of the best decisions I have ever made and I wouldn’t take it back for the world.

We both have well paying senior jobs well beyond our years that we have worked hard to reach (since we look older people assume I am in my late 20’s and DH is in his early 30’s). As you can tell I try to avoid comparing the decisions I make in my life to what others my age are doing - I just try to follow what my heart is telling me (and it hasn’t steered me wrong yet).

We both are very family orientated and I feel we are quite realistic about life with children (after taking on full time custody of my cousins 5 children under 6 years old while he ‘got clean’ for 5 months). During this time a discovered a different side to myself and DH- and I found strong maternal instincts within myself I had never experienced before (I am still very involved with and protective of them).

If we choose to begin a family I have crunched the numbers and can be completely off work for 7 months and will work 3 hours per day from home from then on to cover bills/ mortgage beyond DH’s earnings (as long as I need to).

So my question is should age matter? If we can financially and emotionally handle the responsibility is age an irrelevant factor in this decision?

Will it be far too difficult having children before our friends (my best friend is 5 months pregnant but everyone else is pretty much single and a long way from starting a family)

This is a big decision and I don't want to make it lightly. Mums- I need your advice.

[3_for_me]

We had our first when I was 21(DH was 23) and I think that as long as you feel you are ready then stuff what anyone else thinks. You sound like you are in a very stable situation and also financially secure so it's not like anyone could claim you haven't got your act together before contemplating kids.

I was the first of my friends to have kids too and it never really bothered me

Go for it!

[Aprillbell]

My first DD was born 4 weeks after my 21st Birthday. She was planned, we were ready and she turned 9 yesterday

You sound ready to me, more ready than many older couples so GO FOR IT!
FWIW DH and I got together when I was 19, bought a house within 6 months together and TTC a few months after that. We are now expecting our 5th child, 10 years later and are in a very good place in life and very much in love!!!
I wouldnt change it for the world

[Tess]

Nope, not really. So long as you feel you are ready and have that great support network around you, then go for it!

I had DD a few months shy of my 22nd birthday and I wouldn't change it for the world. I was like you and just couldn't wait to start a family as soon as DH & I got married.

Don't let other people tell you what you should be doing, only you know what is best for you and your partner.

Best of luck!

[**Xena**]

I think if you are ready and are secure in the knowledge that you have a stable relationship and you can provide for a child physically and emotionally then you are ready.

DF and I had our first when I was 20 and he was 23. Like you we were financially secure, owned our own car and house, mostly mature and had/have a strong relationship.

It's no one else's decision but yours and your partners

This post has been edited by **Xena**: 08/07/2009, 10:39 PM

[**LoVe**]

Im 18 so can you please tell me how you managed to buy a house? LOL.

I personally dont think you'll find your answer on here, especially EB. There's thousands of personalities and it will all coince and get you even more confused that what you are at the moment. Its something you need to be 100% sure about. Have you done everything you wanted? Travel? Are you prepared for when things go wrong, what happens if you have a premmie, special needs, need to relocate, partner dies. You cant have a baby and believe things will be all rosey and peachy like on TV and like our signatures. You need to be prepared to cater to them on every foot and and hand, 2 hourly feeds through the night, painful recovery after birth, a partner who isn't really sure what parenthood means and still wants to live a bachellor life part time. Could you do it on your own if you needed to? Do you have family support? Will you take out private health care

Although in saying that you sound mature, and somewhat prepared. Im 18 and had my son in March last year and finally found a reason to be truly happy. To wake up next to him and go to bed everynight with him. I had plans and goals already before I was 16 and they all changed, most for the better some for the worse. But Im now at uni doing the best I can for my son and I.

[***MORR***]

In some ways age is relative...I was engaged at 19, married at 20 and had our first child at 21.
I have no regrets at all and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Only you and dh can make this choice. You seem mature enough to me. Stable, with a clear head on her shoulders.
If it feels right, then why worry what others say.
Its YOUR life!

[MummyCharmzy]

If YOU and YOUR PARTNER feel ready, go for it. You don't need us to tell you whether or not the timing is right If you were 16/17 and thinking about TTC you might get different responses but you're 21, you're clearly old enough to make your own decisions and if you're already married, financially stable etc etc then whats stopping you? Age is just a number!

[Lia]

Only you and dh can make this choice. You seem mature enough to me. Stable, with a clear head on her shoulders.
If it feels right, then why worry what others say.
Its YOUR life!

I agree.

We decided to travel b4 having children. I was 33 when I had DS1, and I was still pretty much the first of our friends to have kids . You cant wait for others, do whats right for you (and DH). Maybe its him that you should be having thins discussion with

[junglekitten]

i hope not as i had my 1st at 20, dh and i were married at 18, and now at 23yrs old have 3 kids, and we wouldnt have it any other way. i think if you feel ready then thats all that matters, go for it