[Fugative Potato]

How well do you cope? Do you work or stay at home, how many children how close together? Any special needs or allergies ect? At what age did you become a mum?

editing to add my answer.

Age: I dropped out of uni to get married and have babys. I was 20 when i had no.1

I'm a stay at home mum and i have 2 kids 2 years apart.

I don't cope all that well compared to alot of mums out there. No special needs or allergies.

I freak out when they get sick. I'm overprotective about their safety. I'm always trying to make sure they are well behaved. I get so tired of the daily mundane representativeness of my existence. I love my children but i feel like I made a mistake! All i wanted was a family and to be a mum but now I'm stuck. I feel like we will never finacially get ahead and I wish i could offer my children more then how we currently live. I have felt this way since the birth of my second child, I'm now in my 4th year of staying at home to care for them. I find it very hard and stressful.

This post has been edited by *hippytroll*: 16/06/2009, 01:05 PM

[sarah-m]

I became a mum at 27 after working for 5 years as a kindy teacher. I thought it would be a breeze! Its not!

DS is an easy baby, sleeps well, eats well, never sick... but Im still always tired!

I dont work, and perhaps have done 4 casual days since I had him. I put NO pressure on myself to do anything except for basic housewok - everything else I get done is a bonus.

Thats the only way I have learnt to cope. I even do woolworths home shop for those BAD days and morning sickness days.

[45TR1D]

I have a 2 year old and another one on the way - they will be 2.5 years apart. I was 27 when I had DS and will be 31 when I have #2. I work 2 days a week. Most of the time I feel like I am coping quite well, mentally. But then there are those days where I get really stressed out, snap at everyone and have a bit of a tanty myself. I've noticed these are usually related to lack of sleep and complete chaos in the house. When those 2 combine I feel like going beserk. I don't think I am a control freak, but I don't like the feeling of losing complete control of house and home and self!. I do wonder sometimes how I will cope with 2 kids....

OP it may be a small consolation, but when your youngest starts school, you could get a part time job or get back to study, and it may provide you with a bit of an outlet!!

This post has been edited by 45TR1D: 16/06/2009, 01:38 PM

[livvie7586]

i was the same age as you op with the same gap between the 2.

i don't cope some days. i'm lucky, mum and dad let me move home when i found out i was pregnant with ds (long story) and they help me out when i need it.

but, op, i never wanted to have kids, couldn't see myself as a parent and its only now i'm starting to realise i can do this job

[**Xena**]

I had my eldest at 20. I was enrolled at University but realised I had no idea what I wanted out of it. I decided to drop it (with my courses accredited if I decide to go back). DF and I fell pregnant while I was on implanon and we were both excited about having the baby after we had gotten used to the idea. I lost the baby a few weeks later but it made me realise just how much I wanted to be a mum. DF and I were financially secure so we decided we wouldn't try but we wouldn't use protection either. I fell pregnant 6 weeks after my D&C and we bought a house together after DS#1 was born.

I now have 3 children with an approximate 2 year gap between them. I love being a stay at home home but there are times when I feel like I am not coping. I feel like my house is always messy and I get sick of cleaning just to have them mess it up again. I also crave some adult interaction sometimes during the day.

However most of the time I like being home with them. Watching them grow and learn. I have also found it easier with my eldest in school 2 days a week.

[*blush*]

I was 26 with first DD and 28 with DD2. There is exactly 24mths gap. They are 3 and 1.

I cope ok I think. We have no family or close friends so have no one to help out or rely on...it is just us.

I worked full time for 8 yrs before DD1 and went back to work for 12 mths before DD2's birth. I'm a sahm again now but I'm studying to help me get a job when I go back to work in a year or so (when I feel comfortable putting my little one in some sort of care)

My house is usually tidy enough but I wish it was cleaner (toilet, bath etc) - I just don't seem to find time to scrub them enough.

I don't stress too much about my kids with the day-to-day things but I do worry about the future. I hope I'm bringing them up the right way, hope I choose the right sort of school and am able to give them enough opportunities in life.

At present I'm annoyed at myself for spending money on rubbish plastic toys for the last few years and wish I had instead spent the money on long-lasting wooden educational items that I have been looking at on the net. I'm always trying to read books on how to better educate my kids at home (like Montessori and Steiner books).

No special needs or problems.

Gosh, I've gone on a bit but I hope it helps.

This post has been edited by *blush*: 16/06/2009, 02:00 PM

[vegiepatch]

I have days where I barely cope! Listening to my toddler talk, talk, talk!

I think adult interaction is really important. Is there a short couse at night or something you can do? That's how I keep myself sane.

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and I will enjoy being back at work - even though I will miss the kids dreadfully.

Have you thought about returning to study when the kids are a bit older? I know there are alot of girls on the board that seem to study by distance.

[Sunny003]

I'm not coping at all, full stop, but I don't think it's from being a mum, more my health.
I would cope better if DH wasn't working so much (often til early morning) and if my family/inlaws were more able to help out.

My answers:

How well do you cope?
I have good days, and bad. As long as I keep my anxiety levels under control, I'm ok. I avoid situations that I can't cope with- so will only occasionally take the boys shopping by myself. On good days (like today) we went to the pool and had NO issues

Do you work or stay at home,
SAHM

how many children how close together?
Two boys, 20months apart. Now 4.5 and 3 in aug

Any special needs or allergies ect?
DS1 has asthma, and is very 'active' (people comment about ADD, but hes not)
DS2 has multiple food protein allergies, to dairy, soy, egg, fish, shellfish, peanuts, tree nuts, possibly potato and we havent introduced pork yet. LOTS of cooking here, and theres no takeaway he can eat.
He is also asthmatic, and has severe eczema (requiring hospitalisation) as well as intnse home treatment.
Due to allergies/asthma, we have a very busy cleaning routine.

DH is also asthmatic, and has food allergies (dairy, nuts, pine nuts etc)
I am also asthmatic (mild) but have very poor health.

At what age did you become a mum?
I was 2 months from being 25 when DS1 was born.

This post has been edited by Sunny003: 16/06/2009, 02:11 PM

[nataliepr]

I had my first at 31. At 7mnths I went back to work P/T x 2 days per week. Mr E goes to childcare x2 days.

I work from home and can also do odd jobs, wash, vac - I race through work so I have 1-2 hr time to do house things, with no one here.

Coping well, even with cronic pregnancy nausia... add no. 2 obviously will go back a notch with a newborn & toddler who will be 2.7 when baby arrives.

I dont expect anything, I do the best I can, I pace myself, I work to have a 'break' from baby life, I encourage DH to help when I really need him and he pulls through for me.

The 2 days really, really helps. I will work with 2 and have to juggle more, but I should make it through

[LLamb]

i am getting better

DS was unplanned & we were living OS. I had him at 25, we moved back to oz but my family lives interstate so it has been really difficult.

DS was a very difficult sleeper & sleep deprivation really tested my limits, however for the past 6 months he wakes (usually) only once at 6am which allows me to get a decent block of sleep.

i'm studying atm too, but one of my units is internal, & it's my favourite day of the week as it's the only day i have me time, so i also think that has helped.


eta: no special needs & am SAH-studying-M

This post has been edited by *jaju*: 16/06/2009, 02:15 PM