[aimzster]

Sorry everyone but I just need to vent. I almost lost it today. With only a total of 2 hours sleep last night and the baby unsettled throughout the day (not even cuddling him did anything), leaving me no time for anything else, I'm so frustrated, I just want to cry. I would have thought at 8 weeks, things would improve but I still can't read my baby's cries and it frustrates me when I've tried everything and nothing works. I'm just so burnt out right now and I really want to know if this cycle will ever end - and when? Because I'm at the point where I'm wondering why I ever decided to have a baby in the first place. I know that sounds lame but I'm just so depressed and frustrated right now and feel that I'll never get used to being a mother.

[Mianta]

It will get better in time. No one can give you an exact time frame but it will ease off eventually. Just so you know, the way you are feeling is normal, even for second and third time mothers. I defiately felt that way around a month ago.

Can you get anyone to help out around the house so you can get some sleep? You bottle feed EBM right? Ask your partner to look after the baby for the next couple of hours so you can get to bed.

[custardtart]

You poor thing, I remember so well how that feels. It does eventually get better, but nobody can predict when, each baby is different. My DS had colic and reflux and was often crying through the night, the colic got better once he could support himself sitting at 5-6 months, and the reflux at 8 months.
My other children settled well before that, at 2 & 4 months respectively.

Try and catch up on sleep when your baby naps during the day, and the housework can go do itself for a while! It DOES get better, and although each day can seem like an eternity, getting through each one is a success and in hindsight it is a short time.

Most Mums feel like you do at some stage, I promise you it does eventually get better.

[my2earthangels]

It does get better in time, we still have bad days every now and again, but you learn that there are more good than bad.

I found at 6 weeks that my baby had bad wind which took me a bit to realise. She cried for almost 48 hours straight. We gave her wind drops and turned the corner.
It can also be hard in the heat, remember they are not used to it. Then we will have winter...

Sending big it will improve, you will know your baby better than anyone else, you already do but just cant see it yet!

[samshine]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Like the PP posts say it will pass, but that's probably little consolation now when you feel at your wit's end.

It sounds like most of all you need some sleep and perhaps some time out. Can your partner or someone in your family take over for a short period to give you that? We have had some shocking days lately and DH has sent me off for a walk and its amazing what half and hour alone getting fresh air does for the mental state! Also DH has take over one feed per evening for me and gives DS EBM from a bottle. Is this possible for you? If you could have this, it means you could grab a good few hours sleep, and I think everything is a little more bearable when you've had some sleep!

Hope things get better for you.

[aimzster]

Thanks for all the support - I really needed that. I don;t know many mothers and those I do only have good things to say about the first few months of motherhood that I was beginning to wonder if I'm doing something wrong.

Sleepless, my husband's been helping out but many times I feel really guilty asking for his help because I know he's stressed out over work. I'm of the mentality that I'm at home during maternity leave solely to take care of the baby and I feel like a failure when I have to ask someone else for help. I know it's a stupid attitude to have and definitely not doing anything for my stress levels.

[75etd]

Hang in there!!! It will get better. It may seem like it won't get better soon enough, but at some stage it will.

Right up until my DS was 3 months old I was asking everyone who had more than 1 child, why they did. I just could not understand at all. Looking back they must all have thought I was absolutely nuts - I do, and I was!!!!

Now..................I am definately in the mindframe that I would love to have another child. How on earth did that happen?

It's amaazing how quickly bubs change. They do in time enable you to have more sleep, and to enjoy them. When those days come, somehow your hormones will make you forget just how difficult those early days were. My mind still remembers but I must admit it is forgetting as I get so consumed by my lovely DS.

Do hang in there. You will get to the stage where you are able to enjoy your babe, not just through gritted teeth (hmmm I may get slated for that, but that's how I felt and I know that's how others feel but generally aren't willing to admit it). Just wait till your bub starts being active and you can actually play with them.

Until then, just try to get as much help as you can and also get allllllll the sleep you can. Don't do housework - except the bare essentials.

You never know, one day you may like a sibling for your bub. My DS is 7 1/2 months and I can't wait for him to share life with a sibling - I feel I have the strength now!!!!

Also, if you really feel you're not coping, please have a chat to your GP when you go for the 2 month immunisations (or if you're not having these, book in to see them yourself). It's better to chat to them earlier than later.

Good luck, and try to enjoy your bub.

[aimzster]

samshine, yes, I definitely need more sleep. I think that's the reason why I feel I'm totally lost. Hubby gives him an ebm at 11pm. The problem is I've always had trouble sleeping so even on good days, the maximum sleep I get is 4 hours. But you ladies are right, I have to look ahead and remind myself this isn't going to be forever and to just hang on.

[pootle*posie*per...]

Don't worry, what you are feeling is normal. As long as those days and nights are less than the good ones don't worry. If he does it all day every day and at night there may be something bothering him.

My LO has reflux and only last week at 15 weeks did she start to sleep so I know how you feel. She was also sick for a week with a cold and I got zero sleep for 4 nights running and I felt like running away!

It will get better, I promise.

[aimzster]

75etd, you're right. I will probably want another child someday. Hopefully by then, I'll know what to expect. With first babies, you're under so much pressure to get everything right.

pootle, thanks. I think us mothers should get more than Mothers Day!