[diary~dad]

Are Babies Boring?
By Joseph Kelly

When Maisie was born I was the most excited dad ever. I didn’t think any baby could be as endlessly fascinating as my Maisie. My colleagues at work constantly pretended to be entertained with daily updates on Maisie’s comings and goings. My mum always made me feel that she had been waiting by the phone just to hear what new life skill her latest grandchild had acquired. And all I had to do was look at Maisie to know that she was the most special child ever created.

So when my friend Will was initially dismissive of Maisie I was a bit put out. “Babies are pretty boring for the first 12 months” said Will, father of five, after first meeting Maisie. Pretty boring?! Will had obviously missed Maisie’s fascinating attempts to gurgle, her unmissable rolls across the floor, her look of amazement at any light source or her edible look of concentration when she worked on a poo. I couldn’t understand how anyone could class this unending stream of entertainment as boring. Then I had another baby.

By the time Frances was born Maisie and I had sorted ourselves out. When Maisie woke in the night she called for daddy. When Susie was breastfeeding Frances, Maisie and I would do a jigsaw puzzle or colour in some pictures or dance in the lounge room. If Susie and Frances were having a nap, Maisie and I went visiting friends. For me, the arrival of Frances meant I had a lot more time to spend with Maisie – and I loved it. Given the choice of staying home and watching Frances try and poo or going to the movies with Maisie, Maisie won hands down each time.

It’s not that Frances and I didn’t bond, it’s more that I knew I didn’t have to rush. If Maisie taught me anything it’s that before I knew it Frances would be racing around the house demanding my attention. Until then, I thought, I’d spend some quality time with Maisie who, incidentally, didn’t need nappy changing and could actually tell me what she needed. It wasn’t long, however, before Susie started worrying about my relationship with Daughter Number Two. Even a colleague, when introducing me to her mum, said “This is Joe. He has two daughters but only talks about one.”

So it looked like I was in danger of becoming a dreaded Bad Parent. If things kept going the way they were we were about to become a divided household, split into the Maisie Lobby and the Frances Lobby.

But then something strange happened – Frances turned one. And as soon as she turned one she started walking. And once she started walking she became, well, interesting. She stopped being Susie’s baby and suddenly announced herself, as Maisie started to call her, as ‘Our Francie’. It was as if over-night everything she started to do had endless possibilities. And before I knew it she was racing around the house demanding my attention – and I loved every minute of it.

Now with a new baby on the way, and with Frances having just turned three, I feel empowered enough to admit that I find babies pretty boring for the first year, but to me toddlers are God’s own creatures.

Are babies boring? Are they more exciting for mum than they are for dad? And are toddlers God’s own creatures?

This post has been edited by diary~dad: 22/11/2008, 05:55 PM

[Kylie Orr]

I think I'm the opposite to you diary-dad. I love, love, love newborns in all their floppy-head, dribbling, googling glory. They snuggle in like koalas, stare at the ceiling fan like it is their old friend from way back and give such uninhibited gummy smiles. I think I am a minority though - most of my friends can't wait to get past the demanding, dependent newborn phase. But onto what? I ask. The tantrum & talking-back phase? I guess each age has it pros and cons.

Good luck with the new bubba - send her/him round here for a year if you like - I'll trade you my toddler!

Kylie.
Mother in da Hood

[diary~dad]

Thanks Mother-in-the-hood: I might just take you up on that!

[~albo~]

It's slightly more complicated than that - 1st babies are exciting every minute, it's only their younger siblings that get boring!

[diary~dad]

Perhaps this explains the middle child syndrome???

[deek]

A slightly "older" perspective:

I did find my two boys pretty boring in the first 6 - 8 months. Then they get fun and interesting as they get into age 2, 3, etc. as we can all do things together.

But now that they are 21 and 18, my wife and I look quite longingly at young parents. It goes by so fast.. cherish every moment.

[ozipom]

My husband, (who is much cluckier than me these days, but that's because I am bitter and twisted about our fertility issues!) would whole heartedly agree with you. He absolutely loves children and they just love him, but he never forms any kind of relationship with them until they are past the "babies" stage and he has said to me a number of times that babies are boring. Personally I think he doesn't know how to act/play with them until they are that bit older) Me on the other hand I looooooove babies and don't find them boring at all.

[~*~Jacqui~*~]

I agree!! I don't understand the fascination with babies until they get to around the 6-8mth mark and start to interact and do more.

My friends don't understand how I don't go ga-ga over every newborn I see or even that I won't hold them until they are about 5mths and have some strength.

Just doesn't interest me but given I've having #4 this year, I guess there must be something about them I like

[originalp]

You are absolutely right - babies are deadly boring. When my nephew was born he didn't do anything for the first three months except sleep. I'd rush to pick him up only to hand him to my hsband five minutes later stating, "Here, this baby is boring".

I'm epxecting my own baby in August - I fully expect him to be boring too. If I could skip to say, the first birthday, I'd be very happy. I'm sure that's when things will really get interesting.

[grandude]

I have no children of my own and my joy has been helping my wife raise her three children. Her eldest, my daughter, for that's what I call her even though she is my step-daughter, has given me the joy of "fatherhood" in my 50's. I was able to attend the birth of her child, our first grandchild, and the past 9 months have been a wonderous journey for all of us. There is no way that this time has in anyway been boring. For me, each and every day has been exciting, sometimes scary, but never boring. Seeing our grandson experience things in life for the "first" time is a joy to behold. I look forward with unbridled enthusiam to experiencing many more firsts!