[Mumto1bub]

I'm not really sure what do here. We started swimming lessons for our 3 yo DS. We have done about 5 weeks now. He likes the water and likes going "swimming". But when it comes to the class, he doesn't want to participate. He doesn't like putting his head under water or getting water up his nose. Either myself or my husband are in the water with him. It's a real struggle to get him to do what the teacher asks. I don't like to push him as I am worried that it becomes a battle of wills and put him off swimming. My husband things we should push him a bit more or be more forceful. But then DS starts to get upset and lashes out. So we are disagreeing about how to handle it. My husband gets angry about it and thinks if we don't try to push DS into trying to participate that DS is learning that if he doesn't want to do something then he doesn't have to do it. DS told me he's scared of the "big" pool. So, I am not really sure what to do. Any thoughts? Do you think we should push it like my husband thinks we should? Or keep persisting at DS's own pace? Or I am thinking of just stopping the classes and trying again later in the year.

[Accidental]

Your DH is right about teaching children that some things are not optional, and to persevere... but three is quite young, and your son may not have the understanding of delayed gratification needed to push through his discomfort.

I reckon give formal lessons a rest, take him for a weekly splash anyway for water familiarisation, and find another activity he can do that will help him learn to comply with teacher's directions - something he enjoys, like kindygym or soccer.

[bebe12]

part of my decision making would take into account how many pools are in your DS environment. ie you have one or grandparents or you live near beach etc. If your child is going to be at places where he needs swimming skills i would say take it at his pace but keep going. IYKWIM

If you aren't around water maybe delay.

[HotToddy]

I think get him familiar with the water first and let him go at his own pace...he is only 3 and I think forcing him would be too traumatic for everyone. Good luck!!

[gabbigirl]

We have had similar situations with both our girls. We have a swimming pool so learning to swim is important in our house. With our first girl, we changed swim schools until we found a small one which she loved, and we never forced the issue. With her personality it just made it worse. She can now swim at 4.5 yrs old.

My almost 3 yo has been the same as the big girl. Not wanting to go under. The teacher asked me to go into the reading area away from the class, and it worked perfectly. She then went under and participated. Would never have worked for no. 1 daughter.

Having said that, I am not one to force these things...as we would never leave our children near water unsupervised. I know this sounds obvious but where I live, near the beach, lots of kids swim early so parents do leave their kids unsupervised: It blows me away. We were also the situation where the girls were afraid of water and wouldn't go Anywhere near it without us...incl the bath!!

[cstar]

I agree with pp, I'd give it a rest, maybe you could take him swimming yourself once a week until his maybe 4 years old. I found this age much easier with swimming lesson. He isn't going to learn very much if he isn't happy.

Good luck

[kristylee21]

Could u try a group lesson where parents arint in the water? I know my daughter is much better now I'm not in the water and she copies what the other kids do.

[crazyone2989]

After only 5 weeks? No I don't think you should give up just yet. He is only three so the space between each lesson will seem huge and as such it can take a while for them to feel comfortable. I would go to the pool between lessons and just persist and encourage him to go under water. The teacher should be able to try a number of different things to get him to participate. Perhaps try another teacher or school.

[renee1979]

My daughter was similar, we tried her every term and had the same issues, so gave it a rest. Just this last term she is finally loving it! And after only 3 weeks she's been promoted into a class without me, and she's loving it and is so confident! Never would have guessed this would have happened, it's just a matter of time unless you traumatise them with over trying. While she wasn't going to lessons we would go swimming every week so I'm sure that helped build her water confidence too. Just don't make a big deal about it, it will happen a lot quicker and easier when the time is right.

[Domestic Goddess]

Hmmmm, how many kids are in the class? DS started swimming at 5 months old and I have been with him in the water all this time. Then he turned 3 and it was suggested he goes 1 class up. He's now in a class with 2 other boys and I just sit on a chair and watch him.
He likes to play with his "class mates" before lessons. One of the boys also only started lessons a few weeks back and is very wary of water in his nose and all that.
But as they now have a bit of a play before lessons, he is getting more confident and is copying my DS and the other 3yo boy.
Goggles helped DS with having his face in the water.

Is private lessons an option? Or if he;s in a big class, can you ask to put him in smaller class so he gets more 1 on 1 attention? If this isn't possible, perhaps look for a pool that does have smaller classes?

I Personally would persevere though, but that's just me. We live in an area that floods easily, so it's just piece of mind.