[Sunnycat]

We are planning to go to my cousin's wedding in Italy next year. By the time we go we will have an 11 month old and a not quite 3 year old.

Instead of just going to Italy we thought we'd Extend our trip a little bit. We can't take too much time off work but thought we'd do a week in Paris or something as well. We don't want to move around too much as it will be hard with the little kids.

Anyway DH's extended family (an Uncle and Granddad) live in rural Wales. DH has little to do with them. MIL sends photos of DS and regularly talks to them, but DH has absolutely no contact with them, but they feel like they know us because of MIL.

In the past DH's uncle has offered to pay fly us all over there so they can meet DS. So far nothing has ever been organised as DH is useless with plans. However now that MIL knows we are going over to Europe, we are expected to go and see the relatives and stay with them. To get to this village is an hour flight and then a 3-4 hour drive. The train takes even longer to get there. DH has said we don't have to go for long and can stay overnight, but realistically we would have to stay for longer. The Uncle wouldn't be paying for us to fly over for this trip (and I wouldn't want him to as we are going for the wedding).

We didn't want to do too much traveling with small kids, but this visit is going to be a trek and now we are going to have to cut our plans short to accommodate them. They said they will pay for our transport over there but I'm not worried about the costs more about the time and the epic journey there with 2 small kids. So we will either need to cut our Paris trip short, or not go at all.

I frankly don't want to go, I don't understand why DH can't organize to go at a different time seeing as his Uncle has offered to pay for the flights. I suggested he take DS at Christmas and go then. I don't see why we have to tack a visit on to the end of our trip.

MIL keeps saying that we "can't go all the way to the Northern Hemisphere and not go and see them" but I think this is a bit unreasonable because it's not as if the place we're going to is easy to get to, and DH has nothing to do with his relatives.

Now I admit I'm completely bias since MIL and I have had a falling out, so I thought I'd see what others thought.

Unfortunately his uncle and grandad can't meet us halfway, as his uncle is a quadraplegic and his granddad is nearly 90 and deaf.


This post has been edited by Sunnycat: 25/02/2013, 08:52 PM

[Juki]

It is quite a long way for you to travel, maybe meet halfway?

[Mischief Managed]

Ask them to come meet you somewhere - that puts the onus on them and you're not stuck with two days of travelling and stuck with a foreign family

[Jenflea]

i wouldn't go.
I certainly wouldn't want to drag 2 children so far either.
As to your MiL, well you can tell her you can do whatever the hell you want as you're adults!

[katiebear26]

i would be scared to go to italy in the first place with such little ones!!!

i think it's reasonable, if you only have one spare week, to not travel from italy to wales and back. yes it's not far if you are a backpacker and can get cheap ryanair flights. but you have two little ones to cart along.

can you ask whether they can meet you in paris (maybe taboo if money is tight??)

otherwise maybe say that you'll make it back there when the kids are older and will remember the experience of meeting DH's relatives and you can stay longer to really get to know them, and invite them to australia if they are so inclined.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

I know it's a major PITA, but I believe as it's family you should go.

[seaside_shells]

Could you suggest that DH's uncle come to Paris to meet you? Or somewhere else that would mean you didn't have to leave continental Europe?

[Flutters]

I'd suggest they visit you in Paris

[Caseymay]

If they are not paying for your flights then I don't think you have to see them. I think if you have gone all that way in the first place then perhaps you can send a message saying "we are staying at hotel xxx and would love to see you if you can make the trip". It puts the ball completely in their court and means the travelling is not all on you.

[lynnemine]

Why not email them (or get MIL to) to tell them when and where you are staying in Paris and ask them to meet you there?

There are cheap flights within Europe, and it would be alot easier to bring 2 adults to Paris (and you) than it would to bring 2 adults and 2 toddlers on an all-day travel journey to see strangers.

After all that travel, it is unlikely that the kids will be at their best, either.

Also - stop telling MIL your plans when still in the planning stages.