[Nofliesonme]

So as previously stated we are running off and having a small wedding etc, many friends and family aren't coming and many will not be able to make it to the gathering we have a few weeks later..

I don't want gifts etc but know many people will still want to wish us well etc.

If I include a blank card and a message that reads.


Because you couldn't be with us on our special day,
We thought you might like to wish us well, anyway.
Enclosed is a blank card just for you, to write
your well wishes for us two.
Write what you wish, write what you may,
to be stuck in a book forever and a day.

If this is something you'd like to do
Please post card back to the following address:



Is that too forward. I figure it implies we only want the card back and it would be a lovely keepsake for us if they did return it.

[PurpleNess]

I've never heard of this before but if your friends & family have RSVP's that they can't attend etc then I don't see the harm...although most caring individuals I'd think may send a card regardless.

[Fossy]

Id just let them pick their own card, I love reading all the cards and finding one that suits the couple. Much more personal I think.

[epl0822]

You'll probably receive cards from your friends and family anyway. If somebody asks you what you want for your wedding you could say you'd love to receive a nice card to make a booklet, or you could get a close friend to organise it for you. But it seems unnecessary to send people notes essentially asking them to "please write us a card."

[spellfall]

I would prefer a message along the lines if 'we're sorry you couldn't make it to our special day. If you would like to, please enclose a message and post to XXX'

[Twolittleducks]

I'm a little confused by the timeline....

Is it - You invite someone, they RSVP and decline, you then send them a card asking for well wishes?

If this is the case then I think it is a little odd.

Normally when we are unable to attend a wedding, I send a lovely card wishing them well with a note declining the invitation. Then, if we are close to the couple, a gift follows closer to the time.

I don't like the idea of being pressured or made to feel obliged to send a note with well wishes.

Good luck.

[niggles]

I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.

[emlis22]

I agree that it sounds like you're still asking for money.

[zzgirl]

I don't like the idea. If I received that it would sound to me like you want me to send the card back with money in it. (which I would normally do if I wasn't attending a wedding anyway with a card). So I kind of see it as you are being a bit pushy??? If someone wants to send you a card and a message, they will. Otherwise its kind of like you are pushing the point.

[YodaTheWrinkledO...]

Never heard of this before. It's a nice thought, from your perspective. However, I suspect people who want to send you a card will do so, off their own bat, without any prompting. Otherwise, you are putting your friends under a bit of pressure to perform as expected, IMO.

If you do go ahead with this, include a self-addressed stamped envelope. You might as well go the whole way and make sure you get the note returned.

I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.

agree