[orangepeanut]

Hey
Im hoping some of you will be able to advise me on how to handle this.
My DD 13 has suffered from mild anxiety for approx 2 years. She is not on any meds and takes rescue remedy as required. We have been to GP and he diagnosed mild anxiety.

The past week she has been increasingly anxious and agitated. She hasn't really had an appetite and is not sleeping the best. She told me her anxiety is playing up and she is rating it as a 9 out of 10 (we use a scale of 1-10 so I can get an idea of how she is going without her having to delve too deep).

I have asked her if there is anything wrong and she says no and she says she doesn't know why she feels the way she does.

She is supposed to be going to a fundraising event tomorrow to help raise money for her youth group, something she DOES get excited about, and she doesn't want to go. She is thinking of cancelling a sleep over with her best friend as well. Saying she wants to be alone and just stay home.

What should I do, I want to help her but I cant if she wont tell me whats going on. I don't want to push her into something but I don't want her to bury her head in the sand?
I really am at a loss as to how to handle this. and it upsets me so much that she is low and I cant help her.
Does anyone have any tips or can they shed some light on what she may be going through? I am trying to understand her anxiety but I am afraid I will say the wrong thing.

This post has been edited by orangepeanut: 06/03/2013, 11:28 AM

[Missy Shelby]

Sorry OP I don't have any teenage kids but I could not respond.

It must be heart breaking to see you DD this way

I am sure that there are alot of members on EB that will give you some great advice.

Good luck and I hope that she feels better really soon xo

[shelly1]

Has she had some counseling? See your GP and get a mental health plan and she can have subsidised visits to a pyshcologist.

I find often with my DD she can't put her finger on what is making her anxious but she has been learning techniques to help her manage and cope when she recognised her symptoms

[meggs1]

She sounds like she might be developing some depressiom? I think it's time to get a psychologist involved. You can get a mental health care plan from the GP which makes it cheaper. At 13 your DD might have stuff she isn't ready to tell you. In any case they have the strategies which will help her now and as she becomes an adult.

[mumofsky]

that does sound scary OP, her losing interest in her events. Im not an expert but if it were me I think I'd suss out whether she seriously wanted to cancel - if she did i might try to instead organise an impromptu relaxation weekend for just the two of you. drive somewhere scenic, do low key things in the fresh air, dont try to make her talk but give her space to, and just be there and be chilled with her. take away anything anxiety related for the weekend -eg electronic things.

[Shellby]

Try and get her to see a psychologist - one who deals mainly with youth if you can. My son was getting worse so I knew we had to do something now before he had hormones hit and add to it and she has been a life saver - the change in my son is amazing and she also changed how we parented him as well as he had learnt behaviour which fed his anxiety.

She does children up to 12 and said the best time to deal with it is when they are younger as it will only get worse the older they get if they are not taught the tools on how to handle and deal with it - which sounds like your daughter, started off mild and now getting worse as new stresses appear in her life. I would see a GP now and get a referral for her to have someone to talk to and help her teach her how to deal with her 'worries' basically.

[Mumsyto2]

Take her to see a psychologist who specialises in kids issues. They will on-refer if necessary. It's obviously at the stage where professional assistance is required which you are unable to offer. Similarly the GP does not have this expertise however they can do your DD a mental health plan so that you can claim back a portion of the psychologist visit on Medicare for a certain number of visits.

[noi'mnot]

First of all, is she having regular counselling? I really think that this is quite essential, to give her tools that she can use to manage her anxiety.

I'm sure that you're doing the right thing so far. Listening to what she has to say, validating her feelings and letting her know that you're available are all going to be very valuable in this situation. Is there anybody else whom she feels comfortable talking to? I know it must be hard, but sometimes adolescents just can't talk to their parents. At least you could offer her the ear of somebody else (whom you trust to deal appropriately with this situation), that might help.

I'd be taking her back to the GP, though, and getting a mental health care plan and a referral to an appropriate professional. You could even call your local headspace for some support, some of them have GPs on staff that can do the care plan for you. If she's a 9/10 at the moment and not able to pinpoint exactly what's going on, it's not going to get better by itself. Call in the professionals.

Good luck!

This post has been edited by noi'mnot: 22/02/2013, 07:49 PM

[Therese]

I also think it's time to get your GP to refer her to a psychologist. It can be a tricky age for girls as their hormones really start to impact things (or continue to impact them) and so add anxiety into that and things can get difficult.

Good luck, I really feel for her (and you)

[orangepeanut]

Thanks so much for your super fast replies. I needed it tonight. Im close to tears myself!
I have asked her if she wants to talk to someone else, but she doesnt. How can I get her to speak to a counselor/psychiatrist?

Also how do I handle her at the moment? Do I just leave her alone?

I will take her to the GP on Monday and go from there

This post has been edited by orangepeanut: 22/02/2013, 07:58 PM