[Bwok~Bwok]

*I have no idea where to put this*

My niece is having a caesarean next week – she will be 36 weeks (or 37 weeks) pg. They have booked her in as the baby has shown limited growth and there is low amniotic fluid.

This will be her 2nd caesarean – the first was an emergency and was put under for it. But she suffers from anxiety and is becoming really anxious, and I can see her anxiety getting worse the closer she gets to the day. It’s the operation that is freaking her out the most – she’s petrified of the needle going into her back and that she will feel them cutting.

As you can see from my sig, I have no experience in this. I managed to calm her down last night and now she wants me to call her each day because "she feels better when I talk to you" - it's always been like that between us (her Mum is going in with her and I’m the ‘back up’). Her Mum isn’t helping her with keeping her calm (she makes it about herself – always has, always will) and I think my niece isn’t very confident her mother will help – hence why she has made me her ‘back up’!

So can anyone tell me what I can say to her to help? She is having a pre-op appointment next week and I’ve told her to discuss it all with them on the day – let them know she suffers from anxiety, they may be able to give her a calmative on the day? I'll try and see if I can go in with her on her Pre-Op appointment so I can speak for her as she tends to not tell them how she feels incase they think she's a 'freak' - and her mother will most probably talk to them about how 'she' will feel on the day !


Thanks!

[Riotproof]

I think she just needs to tell them how she's feeling, they'll know how to reassure her. When I had my epidural, I had been induced and was contracting, but I held onto my husband's shoulders and focused completely on him. They do test to make sure it's taken effect before starting, and they manage the amount of drugs so as to keep the aenasthetic up.

[It'sallgood]

Tough one

i've had 2 el c/s and had no problems at all, getting the spinals didn't hurt much at all. Yes, you can feel tugging in lower tummy, but it didn't bother me enough to be upsetting.

I'm not sure what to tell her really? Reassurring people who have gotten themselves really anxious over something like this can be really difficult and not much you say will be of great help sometimes.

For me, it was the opposite, I was terrified of having a VB...so I know sort of how she is feeling with the anxiety.

She needs to speak to her caregivers. Ring up the hospital and see if there is anyone whom she can talk to about the actual process so she feels more comfortable perhaps?

Tamm

[cinnabubble]

A colleague's partner had anxiety issues relating to birth to such an extent that she had a caesarian under a general. She would have had the caesarian anyway, but the general was due to extreme anxiety. Maybe that's an option.

[Twolittleducks]

I had an emergency c-section with epidural.

I was warned by my OB that I would feel no pain, but experience a sensation like someone was rummaging around in a handbag....just in my belly. And this is exactly how I would describe it too.

Is there a partner that can support her? I was under the impression that during a c-section you are only able to have one support person in the room with you?

My suggestions would be for you to get her to make a list of questions for her care provider.

She may find it helpful to ask her OB for a step by step description about what will occur. Including how she will feel, pain relief options and asking what will happen once the baby is born and speaking with the paed ahead of time. The baby may well need to go to Special Care if they are of low weight etc and they should already have an expectation in place about this.

Your niece should also be clear with her mother about what she wants.

E.g. My husband stayed with the babies and went with them to Special Care; which meant I was by myself once they were delivered. And went to recovery alone. This was my wish that our children were not alone.

Your niece may be able to take her baby to recovery with her. She might want to see the placenta when it is delivered.

She should also think about what she wants to do with BFing, especially if the baby does not yet have a suck reflex. A paed should be able to given an idea of what to expect at 36ish weeks.

If the baby does need special care, a tour of the unit before delivery will be immensely helpful to her...especially when she is down in recovery by herself.

I personally find that having a plan in place, an idea of the different things that may happen, reduces anxiety.

Best wishes.

[noi'mnot]

I had an emergency c-section so I'm not sure if I'll be totally helpful, but here are my thoughts.

I would presume that the hospital will be used to these kinds of anxieties, and very much able to deal with them. Honestly, the thought of a needle going in to my back and being cut open while awake is terrifying!!!

Perhaps it would help her to read some positive birth stories about caesareans? I'm sure you could find them in the relevant part of the forum here, or elsewhere on the internet. I'm pretty sure that her concerns are very very common, and would have been shared by many other women, so it shouldn't be hard to find some stories that talk about the journey through anxiety and the surgery itself. It is something that I (a very non-anxious person) was terrified of at the time, and the nurses and particularly the anaesthetist were brilliant at allaying my fears.

Apart from this, I think just being there as a sounding board and somebody for her to talk her feelings out to will be such a valuable thing. I think you're a great aunty.

[bokchok]

I felt the same with my c section but doctors were reassuring....I have a very low pain threshold and was so scared - but with my spinal it didn't hurt at all and worked in seconds and they constantly monitor - and its minutes and baby is out - it is scary but I am sure she will be ok...but yeah she should share her fears so they can reassure and comfort her...I had a ces as I was THAT terrified of a VB with anxiety

as a PP suggested a general may be an option if the anxiety is that bad

[JBH]

I too had an unexpected emergency c section and then a scheduled c section. I was also anxious. The thing that helped me was my caregivers know I was anxious. It was in my notes so the anaesthetist knew. He couldn't have been more reassuring. He gave me gas to calm me down while he did the spinal. He also agreed that he wouldn't cut until he'd done a "test poke" with a sharp object to make sure it didn't hurt. I also hate needles and I felt s lot better once I knew the difference between the spinal (for my planned c section) and the epidural I'd had previously.

[Madnesscraves]

I think I was borderline hysterical when I was told I needed a cs. Speaking to nurses and the OB helped, sort of... What helped most was just having my husband just chat about other things other than the impending cs.

It didn't hurt. As PP said its like some one rummaging in my handbag. It was painless. Even the epi was painless.

Just get her to keep informing her carers of her anxiety.

All the best luck OP!

[Domestic Goddess]

I had an elective cesarean. Because it was elective and not an emergency, things were quite relaxed and amicable.

When you go to the pre-op appointment, I would discuss what procedures they use when closing up.
Preferably ask if they could use internal stitches and steristrips on the outside instead of staples. Staples take longer to heal and leave a hideous scar. The steristrips left nothing. You have to look really close to see my scar.

I would also have a good chat with the anesthetist who will be on duty at that time and tell him/her about the anxiety. He/she will discuss options on how to deal with the anxiety (like giving some gas like a pp mentioned) and will also discuss what kind of anesthetics are available, what the risks are, etc.

I personally, chose for a spinal and not an epidural as an epi lasts longer and that would mean it would be harder for me to get moving as soon as possible.
I have a crook back and the longer I stay rigid, the worse my back is going to freeze up. So with the spinal I got moving and walking within 12 hours of the surgery. Another bonus is that breastfeeding is heaps easier when you have movement in your legs.
Also, spinal is just a 1 off injection where as an epi is a drip that is stuck there throughout the whole procedure.

The anesthetist talked me through everything he was doing which made me feel a bit more at ease and I did not feel the needle go in as he first numbed the area before giving the spinal.
I really didn't feel a thing, just some light tugging.

Oh and just 1 important thing..... If she does not want to see the surgeons cutting her open and all that.... Do NOT look into the light above your head. They can work like a mirror ;)
I personally was intrigued and found it a truly miraculous experience. Especially the moment they took him out as I had been so worried about him the 3 weeks leading up to his birth.
He had a 75% risk of stilbirth, so yeah, when he started to scream (hasn't stopped with that one 3 years later), it made me bawl my eyes out lol. Im such a sook :rolleyes: