[GenWhy]

I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what is and isn't appropriate for time out? My 3 nearly 4 year old DS started kindy 3 weeks ago. He goes 2 days a week. I have been informed that he has been put in time out on a few occasions and have sent a note asking the teacher why he is being placed in time out (as in, what is he doing that warrants punishment). I spoke to the teacher after school today and she just said he's not listening. I explained that I was trying to understand what this meant (is he running around being silly and ignoring requests to settle down? Is he not putting his lunchbox away? Theres a number of things that "not listening" could relate to and I'm trying to work out if it's a specific instance etc so I can try to address it).

The teacher repeated that he "just doesn't listen" and if he doesn't listen he is placed in time out. Further attempts t clarify were not very successful - she stated he doesn't do what she asks so he gets 10 minutes in time out. I asked her again about how many minutes and she said it is TEN minutes per offence.

Personally I know my DS would struggle to sit still for more than 3 minutes. Ten is a huge ask! I said that this concerned me and I thought time out was supposed to be a minute per age of the child. She basically said that this was the behaviour management policy and if I didn't like it I could speak to the Principal.

So what do you think? Is 10 minutes in time out a bit overboard? Or should i expect my 3 yr old kindy child to sit still in time out for that long? Also should I be able to clarify further exactly what "not listening" means?

[mad madam mim]

Yeah if you don't know what he is doing when he's "not listening" how are you supposed to address it, usually when my lot aren't listening it's because they are being a bit silly and not paying attention to those around them, a quick "turn on your listening ears" usually gets them cooperative.

10 minutes also sounds too long for me at that age, my twins turn 4 on Sunday and I think the longest we do time out for is 5 minutes.

If you are not happy with the way the teacher is handling your DS then I would make an appointment with the principal AND the teacher so that you can all come up with a solution that suits everyone

[Funwith3]

Your kinder sounds more like a prison!

What constitutes as time out? Is he being sent to sit somewhere totally on his own, or is it more like he has to sit away from the rest of the kids on the floor while a story is being read? I think that would make a difference. Time out as in a totally other room is not on. Not at kinder. Kinder is supposed to be caring and nurturing, not punishing.

And if the teacher couldn't even give you an example of what warrants time out......well, I'd be furious.

[GenWhy]

He is being sent to sit on a chair facing a wall to "think" about what he's done wrong. I'm feeling extremely sad for him. Since school started he has not been enjoying it and has been asking to stay home.

I want him to behave but I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall whenever I try to speak with the teacher. I simply don't understand what "not listening" actually involves. I think a meeting with the principal and the teacher will be requested. I really can't understand the logic of putting a 3 or 4 year old in time out for that long. It's not a technique that has been used at school before for my 5 or 6 year old.

To the PP, yes, it's starting to feel like a prison rather than kindy. I got a note home today chastising me for sending a cut orange to school as "they make a mess". WTF?

[PurpleWitch]

Sounds awful

[countrylivingmum]

How on earth are you ment to address the problem if you don't know the details?!?!? I agree with pp I would ask to see the principle and explain you want to sort this out but the teacher isn't giving enough info for you do so.

Genwhy- if I was you I would send my child with an orange at least once a week .I thought they are trying to encourage healthy eating these days ?

This post has been edited by countrylivingmum: 21/02/2013, 01:23 AM

[GenWhy]

Yeah I thought healthy eating was recommended. Last week I was told off for sending gluten and msg free crackers and a few pieces of cheese (along with a sandwich and fruit salad). Apparently "crackers aren't allowed" either.

[Cancerian Moon]

Is he doing two full days ie. six hours? That's a long haul for a kid who's not even four yet. I think they're too harsh to expect constant listening throughout a long day.

[Just Another Cat]

If you can't even understand what he's in trouble for, how is he supposed too???

I agree that 10 minutes is too long for a 4 year old.

[Carmen02]

that is to long for a 4yr old, to be honest my 8yr old would have trouble! If your not happy with the teacher's response do go higher, not listening is not a good enough reason.