[Myamum]

I am almost tearing my hair out with my 3 year old. Some days I just do not know how to deal with her.

I was hoping some mums on EB would possibly have some advice, having maybe been through something similar.

I can't seem to get her to do anything without an argument and a tantrum and she has an answer for everything. She has also started biting and pushing her younger sibling all the time. This is new behaviour and she has always been angel. We keep her really busy with activities and she also attends child care 2 days a week. I'm not sure what is causing this behaviour or what I have done wrong.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this behaviour, it would be greatly appreciated.

[Redgumhoney]

After a very trying day with my 3yr old at shops today, tantrums, refusal to move, me running out of shops while she tried to scratch my face...yes I went on line for answers. My friend has recommended triple P parenting course and I just downloaded the 123 magic parenting book. The book from a read tonight has some great ideas, I will start tomorrow! I find age 3 harder than 2, and all kids are different, my 5 yr old sometimes behaving much worse...fingers crossed for us all!

[KT1978]

Is she ok at school?

Could going to school be causing it (more tired, clingy/jealous)?

How old is her sibling? Is there a cause for her to start being jealous? Ie sibling just stated walking or getting attention

[Johnno01]

Well, I'm a dad and not a mum but I do have a 3 year old who can be a real handful at times, but he's getting better. He's got two older siblings, 5 and 7 who were also stroppy at age 3, but not quite like the youngest.

I don't think you have done anything wrong, but kids at that age just start to test boundaries... and it seems to me that the older they are before they reach this phase, the more extreme it is.

What worked for us is liberal use of time out. They get put in their room and told to sit on the floor, no toys. Apparently the recommended time is 1 minute per year of age.

At the end of the time out I would sit down in front of them and calmly tell them that what they did is NOT ok, and if they did it again, they would go back to time out. They really hate time out, and catch on very quickly and before long just the threat of time out would generally be enough for to make them settle down and do what they are told.

When they were young it was not uncommon for them to scream the whole time while they were in time out. Then at the end they would say they wouldn't do it again, you let them leave their room and they do whatever it was again straight away. Pick them up, straight back into their room for time out. As I said, they really hate it and they soon learn to control their behaviour.

[FemboFerretOfDoo...]

NO idea but I'll be watching this thread with interest - my 3YO DD is a nightmare too - no biting thankfully but stubborn, argumentative, defiant, and no form of discipline seems to work. I'm at my wits end, DS was always such an easy-going child, DD's behaviour has taken me completely by surprise!

I feel like I spend a huge part of every day fighting with her, it's exhausting and I feel guilty about not being able to be the mother I want to be to her - but she is just so good at pushing my buttons...

[SemiRuralGirl]

As bad as it is to hear parents going through this, it has actually made me feel a bit better.

My 3.5 yo DS is driving me absolutely batty! Major, major scream down the place for an hour tantrums are the flavour of the month for my little cherub.

Add to that the waking at 4:00 am and refusing to go back to bed - or even do ANYTHING except wake me up and I'm just having a whole barrel of fun here. Trying to deal with anything at 4:00am and the resultant screaming down of the house until all other family members are awake is particularly fun...

I honestly do not know what to do. I am consistent in my discipline with him, do lots of activities/crafts/tactile things/energy using games etc and we still have these massive blow outs daily.

I am exhausted and at my wits end. I feel like he is pushing me past my point of coping - plus with the wakeful nights I am also sleep deprived.

So... Needless to say I will be watching this thread intently!

PS The little crapper will then look at me with his cute little cheeky face and say "But I love you Mummy" and I can't help but smile. I guess that is pure grace in life.

[Magenta Ambrosia]

Threeteen is a fun age - it's all about asserting independence. And yes it is a window to the teen years.
Listen to them actively and be consistent in discipline and rules and remember most of it is over around 4 :-)

Threeteen is a fun age - it's all about asserting independence. And yes it is a window to the teen years.
Listen to them actively and be consistent in discipline and rules and remember most of it is over around 4 :-)

[Lausii]

Threeteen is a

fun age - it's all about

asserting independence. And yes it is a window to the teen years.
Listen to them actively and be consistent in discipline and rules and remember most of it is over around 4 :-)

I'm sorry, but what a teenager can put you through is nothing compared to a 3 year old.

My three year old has her moments, I find ignoring her tantrums works best.

[*Finn*]

God I'm struggling at 3 years old, god help me when he's 13.

He's hard work every damn day. And we are at work/school 4 days per week.

[wenchwitch]

The best advice I was given when I had a fuuuuullll on 3 year old was "it's not what you say but how you say it" sometimes easier said than done especially when you are at the end of your tether. I don't want this to sound preachy but if I had my time again I would constantly be the calm voice of reason, always ask politely and use manners and never have a meltdown. I know the times where I have lost the plot and basically had a tantrum then this reinforces for them that if you are annoyed, stressed etc it is ok to behave that way. I have tried that approach with number 2 ( although I have failed on a few occasions) but the long run does pay off I am convinced. There was a time I just faked it until I could make it but now as long as I ask in a pleasant respectful voice number 2 will happily do anything I ask. Stick with it and show them and tell them by you behaviour. I often say " I am feeling so angry, upset disappointed etc that I need to go away and think about "this" so that I don't say or do something mean or hurtful that I don't really mean". Number 2 now when she gets angry or frustrated will say the same back to whoever Once it gets through and you can see results it's soooo much easier not to fake it