[MissingInAction]

I've noticed a divide recently. Maybe it's just in my circle of friends & family

There seems to be two extremes with "outings and newborns"


1. Mum and bub stay home ALL THE TIME for weeks/months. Only immediate family and some VERY close friends get to visit. Other people comment: "you need to get some sunshine, love!" and "time to start going out a little more..." and "would you like me to take bub for a bit while you head to the shops" and "poor DH looks like he needs a break... he's been working so hard and grocery shopping and all... have you left the house at all since giving birth?"

OR

2. Mum & bub go out constantly in public. They're meeting up with old friends, new friends, family friends for coffee, lunches, dinner, movies, playgroup, etc. And bub's only 1 month old! "Wow, you look great" "when do you fit in time for sleep?" "You seem to be coping well" etc


Why is this? Is it a 'let's not expose bub to germs' thing? Is it a confidence-in-self-as-a-mother thing? Is it just a more extreme version of personality styles that comes out after giving birth ??

[cinnabubble]

I went out lots both times, even though I'm dependent on public transport. I'd go postal if I was trapped at home.

[Saecularis Angel...]

It might be as simple as the divide between those whose babies will sleep anywhere, and those whose won't.

[R2B2]

ability to cope might play a part?

[farfaraway]

It was precisely because neither of my DDs would sleep that I went out a lot with them. At least I was seeing other people, getting some fresh air and lots of coffee and some exercise pounding the footpaths with strollers rather than facing screaming newborns all day on my own. Horses for courses, whatever works.

[Sunnycat]

My DS slept on me for the first 14 months of his life. There was no possible way for me to get anything done while he slept. Needless to say I went out heaps as couldn't bear to be trapped at home while he slept.

If I had a baby that slept in the cot I would probably do more at home so I could get things done.

[Peppery]

I was a bit of both. I never left the house before 11am why?? my child wouldn't sleep when out. I wanted her to have one good sleep a day. I would go postal as well if i didn't go out everyday.

[JustBeige]

I had undiagnosed anemia the first time plus it was winter, so my trips out consisted of DH taking us on car trips so we could get some sun and both fall asleep 3 seconds after the car started. I also had a huge dose of new mother paranoia and it took a few outings by myself to realise that 'no, the whole shopping centre isnt looking at me and laughing'.

#2, I was out and about quite a bit as I didnt have the anemia.


I never really got comments either way. If I did I must have ignored them as crap as I dont remember them


ETA: far out, I cant type today!

This post has been edited by JustBeige: 15/02/2013, 03:27 PM

[opethmum]

I am all for going out and being as comfortable as can be, even if it is lugging a pram 4 wks post c/s on public transportation!
I think it is up to the mum and the bub, some like to be insular and there is nothing wrong with that and sometimes that is cultural as well and what is familial tradition and some find comfort in that.
I think we should not judge people on that but we should be ever vigilant of PND and we need to help mothers who are stuck in a rut and we need to tread carefully too.
A little understanding in both facets and I think we will be a lot better for it.

[Dinosaurus]

With my first newborn I didn't want to leave the house. I was in this massive blissful loved up cocoon that i didn't want anyone encroaching on.

With my second I had a very active 2yo who went completely bonkers if at home since he had gotten in the habit of being taken out every day!

Neither worked especially well but I enjoyed the first a lot more than the second.

There could also be cultural differences - a lot of different cultures encourage that strong family bonding time and for Mum and bub to stay home.