[tilkatandjimsmum]

The 20th anniversary of James Bulger's death has been in the news lately and try as I may not to read about it I haven't been able to help myself. But now I find myself thinking about it to such an extent that it has become very, very distressing to me. My question is, how do I get this awful thing out of my head? Some kind advice would be much appreciated. Thank you...

[tilkatandjimsmum]

Bump

[Guest_~Coffee~_*]

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This post has been edited by *SnowFlower*: 18/02/2013, 07:54 PM

[bubble-o]

Hi OP
I feel the same way and had a couple of sleepless night this week over it. Can't offer much advice other than to say that sometimes in this world the most terrible things happen. No explanation whatsoever.
Sometimes awesome things happen too.

RIP little man

[tiggywinkle]

Hi OP,
I have anxiety, and at times I've found myself getting distressed and thinking obsessively over things like this. What works for me: I get fairly strict with myself. I remind myself that it's not my tragedy, and basically it's not my right to get obsessed over it. The parents and families are the ones who can grieve this, not me. I'm not doing them, or anyone else,any good by thinking about it all the time. My job is to look after my own family, and make a donation to victims of crime charities.

Hope this doesn't sound too harsh - but this is what has helped me snap out of it. If you don't find any of the suggestions on EB helpful though, could I suggest seeing a psychologist for some strategies, if these thoughts are becoming obsessive and you don't know how to deal with them?

Good luck OP, I hope you resolve this. It sounds like its becoming distressing for you.

[tilkatandjimsmum]

Thank you for your helpful advice. I know that having my own little two year old J has probably contributed to my anxiety this time round. I really appreciate your suggestions - and I'm going to take them on board.

[password123]

Distraction, distraction, distraction. Keep yourself busy and as a pp said - stay away from the media for a while.
I have anxiety and an over-responsibility complex and this has made me prone to PTSD type events involving incidents that are not my "own".
Life is tough when you're mind won't switch off to these things. I feel your pain OP. Just keep busy. Read funny books, watch some funny DVDs - try and detach your mind. It does get easier.

[Sunnycat]

I think you might need a break from the media around it.

I am a very sensitive person and used to work in a department that prosecuted sex crime and child pornography. For the duration I was there, it haunted me.

I used to go for walks and look at random houses and wonder what was going on behind closed doors. Was there a child in there who needed protecting?

It wasn't healthy and I became obsessed. It consumed me. I felt utterly sick and helpless. I imagined what these poor children were going through and would cry myself to sleep at night.

Eventually I moved to another area. Being away from it really helped me stop obsessing and stop thinking about it to the depth that I was.

Be kind to yourself, maybe a media break for a few days and refocusing your energies will help you?

[BetteBoop]

Just stop yourself OP. Don't indulge these thoughts at all. When it comes into your head say "stop" and force yourself to think of something else.

If you have to, write a list of things that will occupy your mind. Plan a holiday or even a nice day trip. Think about something nice you want to buy and what you'd do with it.

Tigglywinks' advice is brilliant. It won't make the world any safer for you or your loved ones if you get depressed thinking about the evil in the world. It won't help anyone who was involved.

All it will do is ruin your enjoyment of your child and parenthood.

Also, these thoughts if they become overwhelming can be a sign of PND. If you're feeling wound up or depressed overall, then maybe take a test on BeyondBlue.

[Magnus]

I agree with the PPs. I'm very sensitive too, and I sometimes am required to research quite disturbing topics in my job.

It's important to let yourself chill out and have some down time. Try to do something nice for yourself. Exercise is also good for clearing your head.

If you can take a break from reading about it or anything related then that's good. Sometimes I don't know the latest events and people laugh at me because I don't watch the news, but if it helps you keep calmer it's a good idea to avoid it.