Right now, the thing I wish I never knew was the TRUE meaning of 'poo-exlosion'
Oh, sure, there were times that my LO's had overflowing nappies but TODAY, oh TODAY my experience with said poo-explosion took it to a whole new level
DD 22 months has been off-colour for a few days, off her food, slight fever. Then last night she started vomiting and vomited 9 times between 1am and 7am - I know, because I stayed up all night freaking out that she might choke.
At this stage there was no sign of poos. THEN she started passing wind and OMG!
This little fella doesn't even get close to capturing the vileness of it. This was my first clue that we were in for 'something extraordinary'.
So on the way back from dr's I had DH stop at the supermarket to get some fresh veggies and chicken to make a nice soup for the girls (other DD looks to be coming down with the same *sigh*). I get back to the car and open the door to be met by a WAVE of putrid smelling air and my DH gingerly holding DD whilst looking panicked. The look of relief on his face was priceless as he handed her over to me (he doesn't do #2 nappies - I usually prefer to do them so I can make sure to clean her properly... this may change after today!) Seeing as home was just around the corner I chose to hold her and change her at home. As soon as we parked the car I bolted upstairs and straight to the bathroom as I knew baby wipes would NOT get rid of the stench. Proceed to clean her up and bathe her. Meantime, DH brings up other DD (fully tt'd 3yo) and takes off to go to the chemist for bub's medications. No problem. Then older DD informs me that she needs to go toilet. Again, no prob. Tell her to get her pants off and get to the bathroom; in the meantime I wrap bubs in a towel and pop her on my bed. AS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THIS older DD WHO DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT TO THE BATHROOM AS INSTRUCTED pees all over my bedroom floor, splashing urine all over my furniture!! Ahhhgghh!!! OK, still calm at this point - tell DD not to worry, it's an accident blah blah blah and I will give her a quick wash. Run to laundry to get dirty towel to sop up pee so I can then mop and clean up. AS I AM COMING INTO THE ROOM A STENCH HITS ME! You guessed it - bub's has let rip ALL OVER MY BED
At this point I start freaking out *just* a little..... OK, I'm still keeping it together, yell at DD to get in the bath, I'll be there in a minute, start cleaning up bub's who is looking mildly baffled as to what the hell is going on with her butt. Clean off poo from bub's butt, plonk her in bath with DD. Run out to finish cleaning poo,that is the consistency of dahl, off bed (THANK goodness for mattress protectors!!) Finish stripping bed, start the floor cleaning when I hear *oh yuck!* from DD. My heart sinks as I bolt back to the bathroom (ensuite) to find bub's has pooed in the bath
To make matters worse it is a baby bath the girls share with a leak in it (which I like as it gives them a time limit) but this leak means I now have watery poo all over my bathroom floor
THIS is when I finally freak out, try to call DH to get back home to help me asap whilst trying to wash down both girls with dettol soap. Both are getting freaked out because I am freaked out because I am so darned grossed-out, so add to the dramas a massive parenting fail! And OMG!!! The sheer VOLUME of said poos - where the heck did they come from???!!!!! She's barely eaten for the last 2-3 days and she vomited EVERYTHING out last night and she's a regular pooper... I just don't get it. Totally and utterly gross!!! And I STILL had to get the soup going so they could have something nutritious and tummy friendly to eat for lunch. So there I am, sterilising every surface of my bedroom, bathroom AND my body because I feel like I've been elbow-deep in poo! Grossy-gross grossness
And DH thought it was FUNNY when he finally got back and I related my horror story to him
And now I feel like I have the same thing coming on. And I have a MOUNTAIN of sheets and towels to wash and the machine is taking FOREVER for one load
Having said that, my poor little DD#3 - she's only 22 months old and cute as a button, such a happy and comedic little cherub. To see her in distress because she can't contain her pooping is so sad - not screaming or crying but actually saying 'oh no' with a distressed little face as more poo comes running out of the nappy down her leg
6 nappy changes in 1 hour is NOT FUN!
So, yeah, I really, REALLY wish I never knew that 'poo-explosion' meant exactly that!
ETA: warning - sorry Madam Protart
This post has been edited by PLARK: 13/02/2013, 10:03 PM