[Flibbertigibbert...]

Mine is going to be very boring, something like "Hi this is blah & blah, phone is unattended at the moment, leave a message or ring the mobile" type thing. We receive phone calls from general members of the public for DH's business and other things so it needs to be concise and easy to understand.
I think those messages that are along the lines of "hi you have reached (male voice says male name), (female voice says female name) and (child voice says child's name) and our pets rufus, moggie and tweety bird" or "hello, hello can you hear me, oh yeah answering machine" are really naff.
What does your OGM say?

[RobotFerretOfDoo...]

Ahhhh... memories.

Our message these days is very mundane, but when I was a uni student 20-odd years ago, living with my sister, we had a message that said:

"Hello, I'm the answering machine. At the moment (Ferret's sister) is a microscopic speck contemplating the vast entirely of the universe, while (Ferret) is having an in-depth conversation with a teapot. Please leave a message and one of them will get back to you just as soon as the phone stops thinking it's a hedgehog."

We got a number of messages that were just hysterical laughter.

This post has been edited by FemboFerretOfDoom: 13/02/2013, 11:46 AM

[WhimsicalDragonf...]

[niggles]

My phone says "Hello. Your call cannot be answered at the moment and you cannot leave a message."

So bascially the person gets charged for a phone call for no good reason. It's a nightmare but I've read the manual a million times and I cannot figure out how to turn the normal "Please leave a message after the beep" back on again.

[Ireckon]

Much like Ferret's, we had one that said ( before we ever had kids etc)

" uh...this is the toaster. The answering machine has just left.....Not sure where it went...but if you leave a message, I'll try and get it to the toast makers"

MIL made a point of telling us how stupid it was. She was not my biggest fan when DH and I were just dating.

Our best one was one we did whilst having a party. The whole crowd yelled out
"WE'RE NOT HERE! lEAVE A MESSAGE!"

[Flibbertigibbert...]

[countrymel]

I'm sure I got a share house once simply because my name would help to make the stupid wacky answering machine message sound better!

Unfortunately for the message maker my friends would leave messages that would start with a sigh and often then continue with "Hasn't that idiot tired of that lame a*sed joke yet?"

Later in that house a different flatmate installed one of those 'commander systems' that he'd scored from somewhere he used to love, love, love transferring calls (had put an extension in EVERY room in the house!) and placing callers on hold - an IT nerd who moved in (oh OK it was DP!) hacked it so that it would give little 'Your call is important to us' messages - but we also recorded a little 'hold muzak' that if you listened closely was actually a very rude song about the telephone obsessive!

Happy days!

I have neither an answering machine nor the telstra thingy now, and our phoneline infrastructure is such that I don't even get the 'someone else is calling you' beeps.

[MissNess]

My OGM on my mobile is

Sorry I can't get your call but if you leave your name, number and a short message and a reason to call you back I'll get back to you. No, "I'm your mother" is not a good reason.

I'm so sick of people who prefer to call back 4 or 5 times in a matter of minutes without leaving a message or leaving vague "Call me" messages when they do bother. I need to know how to prioritise my return call.

[~*Twilight~Zone*...]

Years ago we had a very tacky song on our answering machine.

It went

"hey how ya doing, sorry ya can't get through why doncha ya leave ya name -n- your number -n- we'll get back to you"

[countrymel]

Years ago we had a very tacky song on our answering machine.

It went

"hey how ya doing, sorry ya can't get through why doncha ya leave ya name -n- your number -n- we'll get back to you"

De La Soul - yeah!