[3mummy3]

Just want to put out a scenario and see if people think the arrangements are fair or not. My dh thinks we are drawing the short straw but i think things are pretty much equal or more on my side a tad. I wont say who is who so just let me know which if any family is getting diddled and what could be done to make it more even!

Family A has a small baby, a primary school child and two highschool kids. Mum is sahm but works part time from home, dad leaves early and gets home late so isnt involved at all in the scenario.

Family B has two primary school kids and one high school kid. Mum works two afternoon/evenings per week, dad works fulltime but not long hours so is involved in the scenario.

Current arrangement is that family A mum drops highschool kids off at family Bs house in the morning and takes Bs primary kids back home with her, they stay for about twenty minutes before walking across the road to primary school. Family Bs mum or sometimes dad drives the highschool kids to school, about 8 minute return trip. Family As driving time is about 20 minutes due to bad traffic between the two homes.

After school the primary kids walk home and stay at family As house for about 30-45 minutes, they are given an afternoon snack. Family Bs mum or dad picks up highschool kids then comes and drops As kids off at home and picks up their kids. Drive time for them about 25 or so minutes.

But once a week mum is working and dad has to stay back for meetings so family A collects primary school kids, drives to highschool to pick up highschool kids, drops family Bs kids off at home then goes back home. Takes about 40 minutes due to traffic at that time.

Then another day one of familyBs kids has afterschool activity so his mum will pick her primary school kids up and go to activity and family A mum will pick up her own primary kid then do the highschool pick up, dropping Bs highschool kid at home. 40 minute trip again.

So hopefully you can understand my ramblings and give opinions regarding the scenarios!

ETA Also will just add that if each family went their seperate ways Family A would have more driving but wouldnt have to babysit Bs primary kids and feed them snack. And family b would have more driving and would be stuck on the two days mum works, and would also need to provide snack for own kids.

This post has been edited by 3mummy3: 12/02/2013, 05:50 PM

[Funwith3]

OMG I'm so confused!! All I can say is if families A and B can make those arrangements work successfully, then they deserve a medal! As for your question, who gets the rough end, it seems like both are equally helping.

[laridae]

Its pretty fair - except when you get to the exception days, in which case family A does a little more work.

However if they didn't have family B they would be doing it anyway (they would still have to do primary & high school pickups) - so they still come out ahead.

ETA: If family B did the morning run, ie drop the kids off and pick up the teenagers to take to school on the exception days it would be a little more balanced.

This post has been edited by laridae: 12/02/2013, 01:59 PM

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

I'm slightly confused too but from what I understand, it sounds fairly even. It seems family B have more driving but they would have to drive any way wouldn't they? So as long as everyone is happy, it sounds like a pretty good arrangement.

Perhaps Family A could offer some petrol money to Family B? But it honestly sound pretty even to me.

[Peppery]

Sounds fair except for the exception days but they sound like they happen each week, so i think that shifts the balance and Family A are getting the short straw.

[Bacongirl]

Sound pretty fair to me. Although Family A does seem to spend more time in traffic than family B

And wow - one full car with all the teenagers and a baby

Is Family B willing to reciprocate if Family A needs it on occasion?




Edit for weird triple post

This post has been edited by Coffeegirl: 12/02/2013, 01:42 PM

[baby*girl]

Fair or not, it sounds like a great family set arrangement if everyone is happy.

[ekbaby]

Reading all that does my head in, but honestly, rather than asking strictly "is this equal?" I would be asking "are both families happy with the arrangement?"

If one family member/parent is not happy with the arrangement, what is the issue(s) of contention? Eg is there a specific pick-up or something that doesn't work well on one day? Can they be worked around?

Some families might be quite happy to do things for each other even if they are not strictly "fair" but just see it as part of the grand scheme of things in terms of helping each other out...so it probably depends on the relationship between the families.

[protart roflcopt...]

T'would be extremely difficult to work out a situation involving 2 families and that many kids that is completely and utterly 50/50.

It's not as if one family is doing it all, all the time.

Maybe the high school kids could look at options to get themselves to school?

[toosenuf]

I think if you are unhappy with the current arrangement, then say it isnt working for you and look after your own kids. But all in all it seems to come out in the wash.