[julie1jet]

Hi

Not sure if this is in the correct place.

DS is a extremely sensitve and emotional boy, very caring and loving and very attached to his family.

Our DS started school this year and yes I know it is only early days, but he is really struggling.

I drive him to a small school out of area, only 27 children, two classes, four boys in kindy. Teacher was lovely at orientation last year, but now she is very different.

I am aware that she has other children other than my DS, but the care factor that we seen last year, has gone and I find she is frustrated by DS tears and being upset when I take him to school. I have been told ohh this will past, but DS has always struggled with separation, I have asked for assistance on arrival at school, but teachers have not been sighted until 9am, and by this stage he is distressed. I have been told to leave him but I will not do this while he is distressed, especially without a teacher.

I have attempted to explain how we have managed his anxiety at preschool which worked ( hand over to teacher, kiss goodbye, and go, this helps with less tears and less anxiety) but they are not there to assist, and when they are there they are making him more upset, rather than helping.

To top things off, their part time teacher, trying to help in her wisdom today told me " give it till next term and you will have a totally different child". I know she meant well, but we love him the way he is, we just dont want a stressed out child, as it has a flow on effect at home, with outbursts, night terrors etc. He has done really well emotionally with the help of preschool last year, but it is all unravelling and quickly.

Today was terrible and not only distressing for him, but for me as a parent. When I was leaving he was screaming for me, taken into class, screaming and banging on the locked door. Apparently this went on for nearly half an hour, I was not told, until I called and on the phone it was played down, until I spoke with the teacher this afternoon.

We have a friend who does distance education and I / We think this might be a better choice for him, but I am concerned about the isolation as we want him to mix with other children. He isnt really sports minded, but if we were to do this I would enrol him in out of school activities.

Would this be a good choice for a sensitive child? Who do you recommend as there are so many out there? Our friend uses Australia Christian College.

I am sorry this turned into a sort of vent. Im a little stressed about this and want my happy and calm child back.

Thanks for any advice relating to home schooling.

Julie

Sorry for any typos, Im a little emotional about this.

This post has been edited by julie1jet: 11/02/2013, 11:22 PM

[howdo]

You mention you drive him to an out of area school. Might you try one closer to home?

As you have discovered, things are not always as they seem when you initially visit. It may be that the school philosophies are not right for your family. If you want him to mix with others, I would try a different type of school first - one with a different approach to entering children into school.

I don't have an info about home schooling though.

[New Horizons]

Sounds like you might need to try a different school. My DD was the same so she had assistance through Prep then in Year 1 and 2 she was only at school 5 days/fn and her school work was done at home the other days. Any work not completed on her school days was also done on her home days. She's now in Year 4 and at school ft, but in the Special Ed Unit for a lot of the time.

[julie1jet]

Hi

The school is only 15 minutes away.

Local schools in the area are very big over 300 children, which is a lot for a semi rural area.

This is way too big for our DS.

Thanks for the advice.

Julie

[howdo]

How do you know it is too big for your DS?

What makes it successful is not how many children are at the school but the approach and philosophy of the school leadership team. That influences how the teachers interact with the children and what type of assistance they are willing to provide. The number of children is immaterial to this.

Your DS is reacting to a 'settling in' approach that does not work for him and the ethos of the school and teachers isn't to accept and work with your child as he comes but to 'change him'. 27 children or 327 children make no difference but whether or not the school supports children the way you want them supported does make a difference.

300 students is a small school ...

[feliz6]

I think based on your current experience you have just discovered the size of a school is not tge modt important factor. Dont be too quick to discount schools larger than the current one. An advantage of larger schools can be more flexibility in matching student to teacher.
You mention he has ongoing abxiety problems. Is there a psych involved?

[Carmen02]

i recommed a psychologist as well. I have a very sensitive quiet boy who gets very anxious and i really dont think pulling him out of school all together is the solution and I have actually found the larger school does alot better, more to distract him with and they have alot of resources at their hands. my DS goes to school with over 600 students and i think it helps him

This post has been edited by Carmen02: 12/02/2013, 05:12 AM

[julie1jet]

Thanks everyone for your opinions and advice.

We had been working on his anxiety with professionals, thanks for your concern.

Coping techniques were used last year at preschool with great success and the school this year was chosen after looking at all of the surrounding schools, so we did put a lot of thought into it and consulted with the school.

They asked us to try their technique which wasnt working, so today we returned to our method and it worked really well. I informed them what we would be doing.

He had no tears and was a happy boy. I will be continuing with our method as it works.

I am only looking into our options and working out what is best for our child. Interesting that my replies have only been from parents who do not home school.

Thanks anyway

This post has been edited by julie1jet: 12/02/2013, 09:58 AM

[jewel2]

Hi,
I have done homeschooling with my son, like yours he developed anxiety issues at school.
Has always been a sensitive child. To the point I believe he was developing a phobia.

We homeschooled for a few years, and it worked very well. He became more confident and eventually decided he wanted to go back to school. In fact he insisted he went back.

He is now doing very well at high school and is expected to good results in his Year11/12 exams and go on to Uni. We had no problems fitting in with school curriculum.

For us homeschooling worked better and allowed our son to gain confidence at his own pace.

* My hubby is a school teacher so homeschooling was not taken lightly. Also other children have attended school. So we are generally pro school.

But feel that for some children homeschooling offers them a less stressful environment in which they can gain confidence.

Good Luck

[mama123]

Hi there,

We are only at the beginning of our homeschooling journey. We will not be going with any distance education provider so unfortunately I cannot give you any solid information. I do know of some families who have tried distance education and for those with children who experience anxiety it has not worked well. The program is still very 'schooly' and doesn't always allow for much flexibility. The majority have gone with registering their own curriculum.

Just food for thought.

One of the perks of going with distance ed is that they can provide 'get together' days if you feel you will be isolated from others. There is a great community of home schoolers where I live, so I feel we have more than an adequate supply of social interaction and that doesn't include everything else that is offered in the community for schooled children that you could also attend. Hopefully once you dig around you will find the same thing too.

Good luck, it's definitely not a decision that any of us take lightly.