[farmgal]

My 4 year old ID twin boys are being a nightmare....

I use time out
I use toy confiscation
I tried reasoning with them....but it just does not seem to work.

In the last few days they keep running about the place being stupid and when I try to get them to stop they just continue running away from me, laughing in my face and yelling. They are normally quite sensible, but recently they have become more silly.

They would never behave this way on their own, it is as if they feel like they have super powers when their brother is there beside them. When I start to discipline one DS the other DS laughs and then all the respect for me goes out the window and the start running and laughing again.

I tried my hardest to remain calm and this morning when they ran around and around the house so I could not catch them I managed to stop them and we did time out.

But this afternoon it happened again and I could not stay calm I was so upset and cried in front of them.

I would say these incidents happen about one a month, but since Saturday it has happened 4 times.

I am sick, have PMS and am so sad that my darling boys could behave this way.

They go to preschool two days a week and are lovely boys and rarely get in trouble, if at all. So I know they know the right way to behave, they just choose not to behave on these occasions.

Do you have any ideas as to how to proceed? I just don't know. The removal of toys and tv does not seem to worry them. Because they just play with each other if there is nothing else.

And now I have removed tv for a week they have even more time to get up to mischief!

I really love my boys and just want us to have a happier time together.

[Daisy Goat]

The only currency i have ultimately found is separation. It is the only thing that truly upsets them and has impact on their decision to behave or not

I tried all the same things you are trying and like you they didn't really care because they just played with each other

[~Bob~]

Positive reinforcement worked best for us. Particularly when each one saw the other being rewarded for good behaviour, then the other wanted the same. I used 'chore cards' for this

[mumto3princesses]

When my girls were little I found time out apart worked. But rather than trying to keep them both in seperate areas and spending my time trying to get them to stay there while they did their little tag team thing I had a play-pen and a port-a-cot. No toys, just in there with nothing and not in the same room as each other.

[Daisy Goat]

Ooh Bob i like the chore cards!

They would work a treat at the age my two now are (6)

Although my current currency is skylander figurines. They live in a box and are given back or taken away depending on behaviour. Worth every cent...lol

[jill1972]

hmmmmm chore cards, what a good idea. Why can't I think of things like that? I like your skylander idea too DG, my boys love them but I've not bought them yet.

My boys are either getting along like a house on fire or laying into each other, the latter is getting less & less as they are getting older. But now they're in school I can deal with the hard times more calmly. I've really lost the plot at times & been reduced to tears more times than I care to remember.

On the lighter side though whenever my boys get asked "Who did this?" they both point to each other & mention each other's name at the same time. They've got it down pat.



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[Daisy Goat]

Jill, I'd like to say it was a thought out concept but really I discovered the value of it when I was so angry at them not playing nicely with each other so took ALL their figurines off them. Then I realised that I could give them back one by one as "reward".

[twinboys]

Don't chase and yell - it just adds to the pandemonium.
Distracting works best.

If they start getting out of control grab some bubble mix go outside and start blowing bubbles. They will want to join in so hand it over to them and let them blow bubbles outside.

If one is easier to grab hold of and get his attention start doing an activity with him and his brother will soon also want to join in.

Have stuff like playdough or some cool puzzles.

Even start doing a very basic cooking chore like cutting up mushrooms with a bread and butter knife.
They will soon both want to join in with helping.

At this age my boys were dress up mad and they used to play batman and robin or superman and spiderman.
Toys just weren't that interesting for them.

[SylviaPlath]

It sounds like the power is in separating them during time out. Prob in separate rooms if they egg each other along.
I would also try positive rewarding for good behaviour. So, if they are misbehaving, suggest some kind of activity that they can do with you, each other. It also means it distracts and redirects. You will have to change the activity, otherwise they will realise your tactic and/or misbehave to get it.
Good luck!

[farmgal]

Thanks for the advice guys. I will try what you have recommended!