[MrsMammaB]

I have just put our name down at a few sleep schools in Melbourne. I'm kicking myself for not doing this sooner when I originally asked about them as the waits are crazy.
Anyhoo. My question is... I've been talking to other mums and watching videos on some of the techniques and I cannot see how they will work on my 5 months old DD. I feed her to sleep every time and need to change this. She goes down each time no worries but i know its going to become an issue and need to now break the habit. I wasn't open to CC previously but am now ready to try if I have to.
I tried putting her in her cot awake and leaving the room. It would have been a miracle if she went to sleep. She cracked it so I went through the patting through the bars techniques. My DD works herself up into such a state that there is no calming her down. They say to pat until they stop crying and leave the room again but there is no way she will stop crying. Her crying has always been on another level to friends babies. It's intense.
I need to try something before I get into sleep school as she is waking every 1.5/2 hours at the moment and slowly sending me mad. Any advice?

This post has been edited by MrsMammaB: 11/02/2013, 10:21 AM

[lucky 2]

Hi there,

I have moved your topic to the Sleeping forum, the topic is still visible Birth-6 months and I hope this allows more members to help you with some sleep strategies.

All the best.

lucky 2
Moderator of the Birth-6 months forum

[Anonymous12]

Hi,

This sounds like my daughter.

Controlled crying, patting, shushing etc. never worked for us. The only thing that did work was making sure she had a full tummy before she went to bed (even though everyone will tell you not to do this) and letting her cry until she went to sleep.

I know it sounds harsh but she would cry for 10-20 minutes, which feels like forever because it is such a hysterical cry. If I was in the room or walked past the door it just stimulated her so there was never any calming her down and leaving the room.

She would also sleep in the pram so I would walk her for three sleeps a day just to get her to sleep.

At night I just fed to sleep and just fed her when she woke up because it was the quickest and easiest way and I was so tired!

We didn't go to sleep school but I wish I had.

Also, I know everyone on EB hates Save our Sleep but I did find somethings in that book useful, you might as well.

[MrsMammaB]

Thanks for this.

I definitely make sure she's full but just struggle to let her cry. I did it for 5 mins the other night and like you said it feels like eternity. Im open to a bit of crying at sleep school as I know they will use these methods. I just cave when Im at home.

Her day sleeps are fine thank god but just the nights need sorting.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Hi OP, would it help to know waking every 2 hours at this age is fairly 'normal'? I say that because at a similar age I got a bit stressed out trying to 'fix' ds because he was waking every 2 hours but when I found other mothers were going through the same and not all babies sleep 8+ hours a night, I felt much better about it. So much better that I didn't bother to do anything until much later about his waking. Of course that doesn't work too well if you have other kids, or have to go to work. IF possible, do catch up with naps yourself during the day and co sleeping helped me get the maximum amount of sleep. I also fed to sleep and it's something he eventually grew out of on his own without me doing much.

In the situation you are talking about, I would continue to feed before sleep - wait until she's very drowsy and then put her down. You might have to do it a few times before she stays down though. If you want to keep to gentle techniques, look at Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. What might work for you is the 'Pantley pull-off'.

Pantley: Ah yes! The famous PPO. Let me explain for those that don't know it. It's my creation for helping the baby who must breastfeed (or bottle feed or pacifier) to sleep every single time until he is totally asleep and the nipple falls out of his mouth. Lots of you are probably there! Sucking to sleep is the strongest sleep association because it has so much pleasure for baby.

The Pantley Pull-Off is an idea to help your baby not need to suck to sleep, but requires no agony of crying for either of you. Instead of just saying "no more" and dealing with hours of crying, this is how it works:

Let your baby suck until he is very sleepy but not yet totally asleep, then break suction and see if he'll accept that.
He may root for the nipple, then go ahead and give it back (breast, bottle, or pacifier)
Count to 10 -- one thousand, two thousand and so on.
Then try again -- break suction and see if he will accept this.
You might even gently close his mouth for him with your finger on his chin.
Most parents report that at first it takes five to 10 removals before baby finally 'gives up' and turns over and goes to sleep. But over the next week gradually your baby gets used to falling asleep without sucking and eventually he'll even unlatch himself and roll over and go to sleep! It's an amazing moment!

[MrsMammaB]

Thanks for this. I have tried waiting until she is really drowsy and put her down but she is onto me in a flash and cries as soon as she hits the mattress.

I have tried the PPO which has worked a few times. I really should try more often. Its so much easier to let her fall asleep as sometimes the thought of undoing all the work/time spent feeding her to sleep it too hard!

I have heard this age is common to regress but Im now in my 6th week! Is that normal?

Hi OP, would it help to know waking every 2 hours at this age is fairly 'normal'? I say that because at a similar age I got a bit stressed out trying to 'fix' ds because he was waking every 2 hours but when I found other mothers were going through the same and not all babies sleep 8+ hours a night, I felt much better about it. So much better that I didn't bother to do anything until much later about his waking. Of course that doesn't work too well if you have other kids, or have to go to work. IF possible, do catch up with naps yourself during the day and co sleeping helped me get the maximum amount of sleep. I also fed to sleep and it's something he eventually grew out of on his own without me doing much.

In the situation you are talking about, I would continue to feed before sleep - wait until she's very drowsy and then put her down. You might have to do it a few times before she stays down though. If you want to keep to gentle techniques, look at Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. What might work for you is the 'Pantley pull-off'.

This post has been edited by MrsMammaB: 11/02/2013, 04:04 PM

[harper_]

It may sound when a baby/child screams that they are going through serious trauma, but with both my daughters, they would scream and scream until I would go in and invariably as soon as I opened the door, they would be standing in the cot grinning from ear to ear.

[PurpleNess]

Im quite sure there are plenty of things you can try first before resorting to CC.

I used to bounce DS to sleep on a fitball, after a feed, he loved the motion. Then gradually over time we started to put him down just as he was dozing off. It does take time & consistency.

This is a great age to also start introducing a bed time routine so she starts to know it's time for her night sleep ( or day sleep) bath, boob, books, bounce bed or something similar. Use verbal cues to recognize her tired signs & start telling her it's nearly tie for bed etc.

Good Luck, they change so much in the first year!

[MrsMammaB]

Ahhh yes the fitball. I could'nt tell you how much we have bounced on that bloody fitball! My physio could tell you too!

We started a routine months ago of boob, bath, massage, boob, bed. The second boob is only there as it was all that worked besides bouncing sometimes. We have recently added solids before her bath also. She knows whats to come she just wants the boob to help her do it. I understand this is totally fair considering its all she knows.

Harper_ she stops as soon as I open the door. I know she isn't in pain. She does work herself up so much mind you that it doesn't sit right with me. She starts to cough and splutter and her nose gets all blocked up.

I really need some relief as I need a break. My DH is more than happy to get up and settle her but she just doesn't go down for him like she does with a boob. I guess it might have to get worse before it gets better. We both have terrible backaches from bouncing her to sleep but his is worse as its the only tool that works for him.

This post has been edited by MrsMammaB: 11/02/2013, 05:06 PM

[harper_]

Ahhh yes the fitball. I could'nt tell you how much we have bounced on that bloody fitball! My physio could tell you too!

We started a routine months ago of boob, bath, massage, boob, bed. The second boob is only there as it was all that worked besides bouncing sometimes. We have recently added solids before her bath also. She knows whats to come she just wants the boob to help her do it. I understand this is totally fair considering its all she knows.

Harper_ she stops as soon as I open the door. I know she isn't in pain. She does work herself up so much mind you that it doesn't sit right with me. She starts to cough and splutter and her nose gets all blocked up.

I really need some relief as I need a break. My DH is more than happy to get up and settle her but she just doesn't go down for him like she does with a boob. I guess it might have to get worse before it gets better. We both have terrible backaches from bouncing her to sleep but his is worse as its the only tool that works for him.

Yeah it's difficult. With our first, we would go in when she cried and rock her to sleep. One night I was so tired, I just left her and she screamed for 20 minutes solid and then fell asleep. So the next night I decided to leave her, and after probably 10 minutes of crying she fell asleep. Within 10 days she was down to a 30 sec - 1 min cry then bang fast asleep. Not saying that would work for you, but that's what worked for us. I look back and now see that rocking her to sleep was basically making her dependent on it and not allowing her to learn to self settle - creating a sleep association. I know for some parents the above doesn't work, their child just cries and cries and cries, but that's what worked for us.