[Kalbert]

Good evening everybody

I'm desperate for some help, please.

My 8 month old DD has always been a great sleeper. From about 2 weeks old, she would sleep right through the night 10 hours and not be difficult at all getting her to settle.

She never napped much during the day, she catnaps but the benefit of this is that she sleeps the 10 hours. We tried to introduce napping, completely prepared that she may sleep less at night only she only ever cat napped, multiple times throughout the day, probably totalling an hour.

Only now she is crawling and pulling herself up on furniture to stand, and since she started doing this (last week) she is an absolute nightmare to settle. We have a routine consisting of;

Walk in the Afternoon
Bath
Dinner -vegetables, whatever we're having for dinner
Quiet Playtime
Bottle
Bed time Story and cuddles
and then bed, awake and she would self settle or at worst, require some patting or soothing but never for long.

The routine has stayed the same only now, when we put her to bed about 8.30ish, she screams and screams for hours! And now because she can crawl and stand up, she stands up in her cot and screams. We used to try CC (hated it) but now because she is standing, she won't put herself to sleep.

So, one of us will go in there, lay her down, soothe her and wait until she falls asleep. Then we'll either leave the room or sit on the floor. Within minutes, she's awake again screaming if you have left the room or peering at you through the bars in her cot (if we've stayed).

Most night's now, she doesn't sleep until 10.30, 11ish. And it is doing my head in. My DH works most nights so I have to do it on my own and it is incredibly hard.

She is now napping during the day. About 10am, she has a 1.5hour one and then a half hour- to a hour one in the afternoon.

We are struggling big time and really need some advice about what we can try to get her to sleep.

Thank you so much!!!!

Kat x x xx

[Kay1]

It sounds to me like you are not being completely consistent. No criticism I know exactly what its like trying to settle a baby and in desperation trying anything that seems to help. I recently got to this point with my 6 month old and so I reluctantly did cc. I have been completely consistent about it and was lucky in that he really responded well and it only took about 3 goes and he began settling himself. Is she able to get herself down from standing? If so I would do cc again. Very consistently and see how that goes. I know cc is not for everyone and it is hard but in my experience it is short term pain for long term gain and in the case of my kids certainly resulted in less crying overall.

I would also say that 8.30pm is a late bed time for an 8 month old. I'd bring it forward a bit if you can. Although personally I'd do the cc first at her current bedtime and once she's going down well then gradually bring it forward a little each day til she's going down at about 7-7.30pm.

Good luck.

[nicknick]

Yes my 9 month old is similar, used to be really easy to put to bed. She also does a similar day nap to your DD. I do dinner (around 4:30 with a hungry toddler), bath (around 5:30), then bottle (around 6'ish) in a quiet room - I don't do play/books after dinner as she is generally getting alot of that during the day and I want to try and calm her down and really take all stimulation out. I put my toddler in the TV room (which he is very compliant with) and take her to a quiet spot and bottle then sit for 10/15 minutes and then bed. If she really protests still then I will sit in her room in the rocking chair. I have read at this age they have so much developmentally going on, it will take them a while to switch off. Maybe try cutting the book, I know its a nice to do but it may just be working her up again when she is really tired after little day sleep hence getting her to sleep is then much more of a battle with the screaming etc.

I feel for you, it isn't easy - just as you have a routine they love changing it on you.

[Kalbert]

Thank you so much for your help.

She unfortunately can't figure out how to get down from standing up yet, she kind of falls and then screams hysterically or we have to lay her down.

We have tried the CC but as she gets up, this method isn't working as she cries and cries, stands up, cries, falls down, cries even harder, gets back up again, cries some more and its this vicious cycle. Once she figures out how to get herself back down without plopping on her bum, I'm sure it will be much better.

The bedtime is something we have repeatedly tried to bring forward but we have had more success with it being 8.30. She has Fear of Missing Out big time and hates to go to sleep if there is any kind of activity going on in the house. She would rather sit up with me, even if I'm reading. So, now, when it's her bed time, I turn off most of the lights of the house, the tv etc so she doens't hear anything else more exciting going on.

Last night we had a relatively good night and she went down without any major hassles. We had a massive day swimming so I think she was just super exhausted. I tried to do the same today so hopefully tonight, she won't fight it and she will just go to sleep.

I don't know what happened. Last week she was perfect. This week, since crawling and standing, she doesn't want to go to bed. Very frustrating. We had a great rhythm going and everything, lol. They certainly know how to keep us on our feet.

Thank you for all your help. I will try and cut out the book and the play and might push back her bath to later, so she can do bath, bottle, cuddles, bed.

Thank you!!

Kat x x

[KRT]

The standing up in the cot is a really difficult stage, especially since she can't lie down by herself. There's nothing you can really do except ride it out until she learns what to do - the aim is to not introduce any new sleep associations like feed to sleep or sleeping with you that you don't want to use long term.

DS had a difficult couple of weeks when learning to stand, although not as bad as your experience. My approach was as much standing practice as possible packed into the day, plus trying to encourage him to sit down and stand up again. The drive to learn to stand and walk is so strong that they'll wake themselves up doing it in their sleep, so I tried to give him plenty of opportunities during the day. It meant that we skipped quite a few outings because I didn't want to waste valuable standing time with him strapped into the car/pram.

We also started giving DS more cues about how to sleep. We'd put him in his cot (even purposely standing him up at the sides), and then tell him to lie down while putting him on his back.

It is hard, but it does pass.

[meggs1]

Spend some time in the day helping her learn to lie down (ring a Rosie... all fall down).