[eyesgreen]

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. Just before Christmas I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I'm so scared I'm going to lose this one and worried that at my 12 week scan they will tell me there's no baby. Has anyone else felt like this? I wish I could be more excited like I was with my first baby who is now 18 months.

[leisamd]

Very normal unfortunately. Once you've had a miscarriage the innocence about pregnancy is gone. All you can do is hope...

[Bluemakede]

I was the same, though could go through times where I was fine and just thought if it happens there's nothing I can do about it, which did help sometimes. The 2 appointments where they checked the heartbeat with Doppler before my 20 week scan I was waiting for them to tell me the baby was gone, same at the 20 week scan, was waiting to be told no baby. It's just the last couple of weeks that I've relaxed a little and am actually enjoying being pregnant.

I hope everything goes well for this pregnancy for you and you can hit that point soon of being excited about it.

[Koobie83]

Definitely. There are plenty of us here who have miscarried before and/or have had scary episodes happen in this pregnancy to feel 'on edge'. I have lost two before this one, and at 14 weeks I had a small bleed and have been anxious ever since. I kept thinking that once I got to 20 weeks I would relax and start enjoying the pregnancy... then 24, then 28...
I'm only starting to relax now. Trust me, I've bombarded this forum with my stupid questions, anxieties and stresses. Everyone kept saying that once you feel movements you should relax... but the movements stressed me more because she didn't seem to be moving as much as others at the same gestation. I would also get conflicting information about how much she should be moving at that stage. Plus on top of that I've had other stress other than the baby to worry about such as work, a loss in the family and issues with DH.

The good news is the vast majority of people go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. You are likely to be one of them. Miscarriage happens to a lot of us and whilst we don't know why (and we often feel like blaming ourselves for things we have done) they do happen to so many of us but that's no reason why there's anything wrong with our pregnancies now.

Good luck and congratulations!!!

P.S. I've been told that it's perfectly normal to be worried about your baby, you're just being a Mum!

[Rolex]

I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before this pregnancy. On the night I found out I was pregnant I even said to DH "We'll only lose this one too". I really struggled through my first trimester and didn't really let myself get excited until I saw a perfect baby on my NT scan at 13 weeks.

I'm now 19 weeks and still have my moments. My baby has just had 2 quiet days (I felt nothing), yet the previous 2 days he was really active. By this morning I was starting to panic again, but then after 2 days of quiet he gave me a few good thumps this morning. I have to remind myself he's still small enough to change position a lot which is why he could have been "quiet".

The innocence of pregnancy is most definitely gone. Good luck OP. Really hoping for you that all is great this time

[Jadey73]

OP, I could have written your post. After a previous m/c and then virtually continuous bleeding in this pregnancy from 6.5wks up until about 24wks, it's been an anxious time to say the least.. I've thought I've lost this bub about 3 times so far due to moderate-heavy bleeds. I get worried if bub has quiet days and nearly went to ED a few days ago. But my little man seems to be fine in there - he is healthy and the bleeding has stopped. Had none of this with DD.

I try to take it a day at the time and felt more relieved when I got to 24wks as babies just start to become viable outside the uterus at that point, apparently. So like some PPs I've only recently started to relax and enjoy this pg. I don't think those who haven't lost a bub previously fully understand what it's like in a subsequent pg. The innocence (and joy to a certain extent) are definitely lost. I hope you get a scan soon to reassure you a little - regular scans were a lifesaver for my headspace from 7-13wks pg.

Some previous advice on these forums which has helped me has been:
Take it a day at a time, or an hour at time if you need to on some days;
Be gentle on yourself, cut out things that trigger stress wherever you can (make up your own reasons!);
Do regular things for yourself to help you relax - bath, gentle walk, a special meal, etc. (the Circle and Bloom CDs/downloads have worked for me);
Know that you're doing the best you can to nurture your little bub and the rest really is out of your hands

You're definitely not alone in feeling scared! Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy OP

[Cooperdoo]

I'm finding it very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy due to miscarriage last year at 8 weeks. I am scrutinising all my symptoms and feeling very depressed when I don't feel any for awhile. I just can't wait to be far enough along so I can feel it moving so I know it's ok.

[MrsLexiK]

I haven't suffered a miscarriage it is suspected I had a chemical pregnancy in Jan last year but we will never know. However my issues mean that getting pregnant is hard, that staying pregnant is hard and carrying to term could be hard. I have been scared this whole pregnancy that something would go wrong because when your dr's are ready to send you to the IVF place very quickly and you know your chances are low, when you get pregnant without their help you start to think "ok when will it go wrong" (well I have been anyway)

[MrsLexiK]

DP

This post has been edited by MrsLexiK: 08/02/2013, 12:03 PM

[eyesgreen]

Thank you lovely ladies for all your replies. I'm so sorry you have experienced losses too . I guess we just have to take one day at a time. Take care all of you