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> For those who have done control crying/settling, What about day sleeps?

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Kay1
post 05/02/2013, 03:40 PM
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Mum to two boys!! :O
PLEASE I only want to hear from people who have used cc and do NOT want a debate about it.

After much soul searching, research and trying every other method I decided to use cc with DS3 the other night. He is 6 months old.

Basically what was needed to settle him was escalating and escalating to the point where I did not know where to go next and he was probably as confused as me. Bedtimes were taking upwards of an hour of me sitting with him, patting, rocking etc (feeding to sleep doesn't work) while my other kids were being ignored. He was also waking constantly all night long. However he was sleeping well during the day. Anyway so after completely running out of strategies the other night I bit the bullet and started cc which I hate doing but it worked really well and quickly to establish healthy sleeping patterns in my older kids.

The first night he was asleep within an hour (with me going in every 5-10 minutes to reassure him). This is about how long it takes him with me there anyway. Big difference being that he slept for 7 hours that night, whereas before he was waking every 45 mins til midnight then three hourly) so major yippee for me.

The next day I did the same for his day sleeps and he whinged softly for a minute and went to sleep. Second night same thing, a minor whinge for about 2 minutes and then he was asleep original.gif. He wouldn't go to sleep after his 3am feed however so I did it again and he was awake for about an hour and a half (not crying all the time though) and finally went back to sleep at about 6am.

Today he self settled for his nap this morning and all was good. This afternoon however he would not settle despite being obviously tired. I called it quits after 30 minutes as he was just getting more and more upset. I feel that I should be consistent with all sleeps to get through this stage as quickly as possible but Robin Barker (who's method I am loosely following) says not to bother doing it during the day. Won't it be confusing though if I rock/pat him during the day but not at night? As it is I feel like I set us back by getting him up after 30 minutes.

I can't remember what I did with my other two.

This post has been edited by Kay1: 05/02/2013, 03:43 PM
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lady lady
post 05/02/2013, 04:13 PM
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.........
QUOTE (Kay1 @ 05/02/2013, 01:40 PM) *


I feel that I should be consistent with all sleeps to get through this stage as quickly as possible but Robin Barker (who's method I am loosely following) says not to bother doing it during the day.



I'm just reading E.Pantley and her method suggests the same for dummy removal - focus on night sleeping/ removal rather than day naps, particularly if they are a bad day sleeper...

I think it's to maximise the amount of day sleep they get to help the night sleep (if that makes sense?) rather than spend an extra 10-30 min settling them during the day let them settle ASAP during the day so they actually get some sleep during the day....

efs

This post has been edited by lady lady: 05/02/2013, 04:13 PM
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katniss
post 05/02/2013, 04:24 PM
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I've also been told it's okay to focus on day or night because when they sleep better for one, it generally follows through - I guess the "sleep promotes sleep" theory.

Sometimes you do have to pull back if bub is getting too upset then try again next time. Also remember when they get overtired, it's harder for them to sleep.
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KRT
post 06/02/2013, 02:30 PM
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The sleep school advice is to try for a while - e.g. 30 minutes, or whatever you can bear - then get up, have a quiet play, some cuddles, then try again. Similarly for night sleep, but the only interaction on offer is what you'd normally have at that time of night - so dim lighting, quiet sounds, no playing.

However, I found during the day that I would just tend to try for a while - maybe 10-20 minutes, and then get up, making sure I brought the next sleep closer to make sure awake time wasn't too long. ETA: Occasionally I will try again 20 minutes later for a nap if he's really, really ratty or if there's a good reason like a late night coming up.

Also, even with a 'good' sleeper now, we have good days and bad days. At his best, DS would have at least one day a week where a nap just didn't happen;

This post has been edited by KRT: 06/02/2013, 02:32 PM
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axiomae
post 06/02/2013, 08:13 PM
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I did the responsive settling thing for day sleeps at the same time as night sleeps. I did it for all sleeps. Night sleeps she was self settling earlier than day sleeps, but now she just rolls over and goes to sleep (or chats to her teddy, so cute I can see her on the video monitor) for all sleeps without any issue. I never heard about not bothering for day sleeps, although they did take longer for them (about 2 weeks) instead of a few days for the night sleeps.

Well worth it though! Before that she was literally NOT sleeping at all during the day, no amount of rocking, bouncing, feeding, walking could settle her. Such a nice change. I wish you well original.gif
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Sunnycat
post 06/02/2013, 08:21 PM
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If a cat doesn't like you, then what's wrong with you?
I never did CC as such so can't comment on that. I know you've had a really tough time with your little ones sleep.

My son has been a shocking sleeper and intense breastfeeder but has dramatically improved in the last month.

I started tackling his day sleep and then a few weeks later his night sleep improved, so personally I would be tackling both for consistency especially if he sleeps in the one place for all his sleeps.

Good luck op.
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Genabee
post 06/02/2013, 08:34 PM
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DD was a shocker for sleep. And by 7 months I was climbing the walls so we did cc - not before doing sleep school twice. And what do you know, it worked!

Because I was beyond sleep deprived at the time, I concentrated on days first. Once I got her days sort of happening, then we tackled the nights. I found also, that I needed to be really ready to deal with the nights. It was intense for a good week, but then afterwards she seemed to get it.

I was feeding every 2 hours through the night, so I started by settling what was every second feed - so stretching her out to 4 hours between feeds, then eventually it was one feed, then none.

I would let her call out for up to 20 minutes (often it would be less because I would cave before then), then go in and pat her in the cot until she calmed, then leave again - never staying in there longer than 10 minutes. Rinse, wash, repeat. Sometimes she would settle herself before it got to 20 minutes, so I wouldn't have to go in to her.

Even now at 20 months, she occasionally calls out. I always give her the opportunity to settle herself (find her dummy probably), before going in. When she does get really bad, we have tried having her sleep in our bed or rocking to sleep etc. but it seems to make her worse. She definitely settles faster on her own.

Good luck OP. It is hard.
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littlemissmessy
post 06/02/2013, 08:39 PM
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I did the CC at 9 months and still breastfed DS to sleep for his day sleeps because I also found the CC wasn't working in the day. When I finally weaned him at 14 months, for his day sleep I laid down with him and read a book to him until he dropped off, unfortunately this is really no help with your 6mo.
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fun_fairz
post 06/02/2013, 08:49 PM
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I think the suggestion to focus on one or the other is for your own benefit. It can get very tiring working on it multiple times a day.

As for my experience, I would leave for up to a period of time or intensity of crying. If this did not work I would go in and try and settle in cot, patting worked wonders with my first, rocking the cot with second. If baby still will not sleep and I felt they were still really tired I would pop in pram and go for a walk so they at least got some sleep.

I think babies recognise the difference between naps and night sleep so I would not worry too much about it. Especially if it only happens occasionally.
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Phoenix Blue
post 07/02/2013, 09:02 AM
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Indecision is the key to flexibility
We recently did it with DD at 7 months. We started with first day sleep and were consistent from that moment on. I did have a sleep consultant come to help for 3 hours the first time.

Her advice is Calm and Consistent.

First sleep it took almost an hour for her to go to sleep, and then she slept for about an hour. 2nd sleep was a bit shorter. Couldn't get her down for the 3rd sleep - tried for about 40 mins I think.

Work out your own limits. I tend to go through our cycle (we do then 2min, 4min, 6 min, 8min, 10min) and if no sleep then I get her up if a day sleep, and try again either at next sleep time, or in an hour. If it's night time, I usually BF or cuddle or whatever after that time.

It took us about 3 days before she was settling pretty easily (only a returning to the room once to put and settle) but it took about 2 weeks before she would put herself to sleep.

The best advice I got was to do 3 sleep until they are almost 9 months. I thought this was too many, but DD thrives having the third sleep (only a catnap) at around 5pm - then goes to bed around 7:30-8pm. She sleeps so much more solidly then if she misses the 3rd nap. So my best advise would be to do the 3rd nap. It's a pain settling for 3 naps a day, but the night sleep makes up for it!!

Good luck.

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