[mandarins]

I have been thinking about how tough I find it being a mum.
Sometimes I feel desperately sad at how overwhelming and never ending parenting is.
This is not a thread that I want to go down the track of "I regret having children", but I simply want to hear from people with older or grown up kids, how is it as the get older. And when does it begin to get better? 15? 18? 20? 25? Never?


We are past the baby stage, but my kids range from preschool to end of primary ages.
People often talk about getting over the baby stage and it becoming easier but we are past that now and I find the demands of my kids much tougher now than when they were infants.

So does it get easier as they get older or are the little bits I've heard about how horrible and difficult teenagers are true?

Are these the hardest years or do I need to brace myself for what is coming?

[Ianthe]

I am finding life a lot easier now. My kids are 16, 12 (both in high school), 10 & 8 in primary school and 4 (at preschool). They generally play ok together, they are all much more capable. I really feel that we turned a corner these holidays.

[KLF84]

Even though ds is only eight going on 18, I felt life was so much easier and less demanding and controlled when he was 2/3 years old. I miss the younger years.

[What'sNext??]

I can't tell you when it gets easier. But do have to say the angst of an emotional 8 year is making me very nervous about what is ahead.

I think the baby years are unique in how physically demanding they are, but the mental & emotional battles are in some ways even harder.

A lady at a shop last week commented on my children (eldest 8, youngest about to turn 1) and said "you may think you don't have control now, but let me tell you, you have control. When they are older they want you to fix things you really can't control". Her children were all grown.

Good luck with it all. I'll be watching!

[Perrypie]

I'm not gonna lie - I too find parenting hard. My child is 12 and a half and sometimes I feel that being a parent is truly the most thankless job ever. I don't expect thanks all the time, I'm just saying that sometimes I throw my hands up in the air and ask myself WHY. Why did I bother becoming a mother if my kid shows me so little respect and only wants me around when she needs me. At this point in time I feel like I'm only there to pick up the pieces when she's had a bad day at school; feed and clothe her, wash her clothes and keep her (our) home clean, make sure she eats properly, worry about her, love her and take her outbursts of hormonal abuse.

I feel like kids are super selfish - it's all about them, them, them. They don't think we bleed when we are cut. I'm so nice to her friends and treat them like my own but instead of appreciating it, I'm told that I said this wrong or that wrong.

No doubt about it, it's hard. I take my hat off to those parents who seems to just glide along and believe that their kids are so worth it every day of their lives.

I love my daughter, I would lay my life down for her. I feel it's a bit one-sided though, to be honest. No one ever warns you about that. Please don't flame me. These are just my feelings. I want to support the OP because I get it.

I do have days where I find parenting very rewarding and I feel a rush of love and pride in her but many a day I feel almost cheated. I feel like, wow, is this what it's all about? Really?

[cattivo lupo]

You get more sleep as they get older, and that's a plus. I remember feeling like I might actually die of tiredness. However, my own life seems much busier now, more paid work, I'm back doing a Masters, but still lots of house stuff to do too. Sometimes it all seems very overwhelming.

We had a tough year last year with our 17/18 year old, for a variety of reasons, and I finished the year pretty shell shocked and horrified by the idea of facing three more lots of 18 year olds . Prior to then, he hadn't been particularly worrisome, I think he just did everything in a short space of time, so it felt like a bit of a war zone.

We keep reminding each other that the other three are very different people so we may not have to go through it again. No doubt there will be challenges along the way though .

So, some bits are easier, and others heartbreakingly more difficult.

[tel2]

When I had my first born, I was sleep deprived and all and asked my much older cousin (who had teenagers at the time), when does it get easier ? He replied it never does but the responsibility changes Eg When they are babies you worry why they arn't sleeping at 2am. When they are 18 you wonder where the hell they are at 2am.

So in short, it never gets easy, parenting just changes

[Rastasdog]

I have often said there is not much difference between teenagers and toddlers

[katrina24]

I think it's a hard gig too. I also think that different people find different ages and stages more or less challenging. Hopefully the next phase is one you find easier.

[Old Grey Mare]

Wait until they learn to drive, then you have no control over where they go and with who (whom?).Then they turn 18 and its "I don't have to tell you anything now because I'm an adult".