[Rubyduck]

When it comes to a child having a tantrum in public?
While out shopping today I thought I would have a look in the local Kmart while walking towards the section I was interested in I could hear a child screaming obviously it was coming from where I wanted to go as it was getting louder and louder and by louder I mean hysterical ear piercing type screams the instant headache type! As I rounded the corner I could see a little girl roughly 4 yrs old laying on the isle floor kicking and screaming naturally she was exactly where I wanted to be and as I got closer I could see her little face bright red, tears, snot the whole bit. For a moment I thought she was lost maybe thats why the hysteria so I stepped towards her, as I did a woman popped out from the next isle and told me just to leave her she's having a tantrum hmmm ok fair enough only while she's saying this the little girl starts vomiting and not a little vomit either it was just pouring out of the poor kid whose now kicking, screaming, vomiting and half choking and the part that's left me even more stunned is that the woman still insisted on leaving her to continue and headed back into the next isle to continue shopping!
Due to the vomit there's just no way I was going near the little girl (I have a weak stomach for vomit and was struggling not to vomit at the sight/sound of it to start with) so I grabbed a Kmart employee to deal with it who had to tell the mother to attend to her child and call for a mop and bucket to clean up.
Now I'm all for not giving into kids just because your in public, mine have had the odd tantrum here and there when they were small but I was always pretty mindful of not to let their tantrums be overly disruptive to other shoppers/store owners/employees. To me what this woman was doing was just awful and disgusting she should have calmed the child or even left the store well before the vomit starts.
So what's your cut off point? When do you stop the tantrum?
Would you leave the store?
Do you think the woman was teaching this child anything by letting it go to the extreme??

[katpaws]

No, this is not something i would have done as a parent.

The vomiting sounds like acute distress.

Do you think the woman was teaching this child anything by letting it go to the extreme??

Yes, how to hate her mother.

This post has been edited by katpaws: 01/02/2013, 04:59 PM

[ZombieMum]

Some kids do vomit if they get themselves worked up - but then there are lots of kids that would get worked up as much as this little girl, and would not vomit. Is it just the vomiting that upset you, or the fact she was having a tantrum?

To me what this woman was doing was just awful and disgusting she should have calmed the child or even left the store well before the vomit starts.

It might not even have been a tantrum like what you've experienced with your own kids. It could have been a meltdown that you were witnessing.

I have a child that could throw massive tantrums. I've since learnt they were probably meltdowns, as she was later diagnosed with an ASD.

I could never calm her down. My 'trying' just made things so much worse, and also prolonged the tantrums.
I couldn't pick her up either - she had that knack of making her body go limp and it was impossible to pick her up safely.

I've also realised, when looking back, that she was suffering from sensory overload - with the lights in the shops, people, noise, smell etc.

I have other kids that have never thrown tantrums like that in public, so when I witness another mum going through it with their child, I try not to judge their parenting and try to have compassion for what the mum and child are currently going through.

[bakesgirls]

I would have hauled my kid out of there before it got to that point. Vomit? That's just foul. To leave your kid there in it, on the floor for others to have to deal with/step over and clean up just isn't something I would do, no matter what the situation.

[caitiri]

I can't imagine seeing a child vomit would be pleasant experience but I don't think you can say bad cruel mother either. Vomiting doesn't equal extreme distress. My older child will become snotty red faced in a matter of seconds but would never vomit even after going for over an hour.. My younger child will vomit at the drop of a hat.

I try to remove my kids if they are having a tantrum because its better for them (and me) but some kids aren't portable they k ick they scream, they punch and its not safe to pick them up .

[ms flib]

I would never let my kids get to that stage.

However, sometimes kids get out of control easily when they're not well.

I would be horrified if my kid was vomiting in Kmart and I wasn't paying attention either way......

[Kay1]

I very much doubt the mother was calmly shopping in the next aisle while this was going on. She was probably feeling very distressed and mortified and trying not to escalate the situation. Perhaps she has been advised by professionals not to react to the vomiting. Perhaps there was nothing she could do to prevent it escalating to the vomiting. Who knows. I just feel sorry for both of them tbh.

Perhaps she would have notified staff once she'd cleaned her child up and calmed her down.

This post has been edited by Kay1: 01/02/2013, 05:15 PM

[Back2Insanity]

My DS will often have autistic meltdowns where he makes himself upset enough for some vomit to come up. This can happen just by sensory overload from walking thru a shopping centre.

[opethmum]

My first instinct is to leave the child alone, I am sure the parent knows their child well enough to leave their child in a tantrum. The kid could have wanted a toy or something and was told no and the tantrum ensued. Although unpleasant I am sure the parent was mightily embarrassed and probably wanted to crawl in the corner. Some kids like that want to milk it for all it is worth and some children vomit for attention after all getting worked up.
You did the right thing in calling for the shop attendant to have the spew cleaned up. I would have done that to prevent an accident and for infection control.

[Niamh23]

If she let her child vomit in a public place and then expected the poor staff to clean it up - she's feral and has no consideration for anyone else.