[lis.seddon]

I have been diagnosed with PND and I'm struggling to handle my DS's routine that he has kind of "put himself" into. I think it might be making my PND kind of worse - things are spiralling out of control a little bit. DH is a teacher and has spent the last few weeks on holidays and I think that might have changed things a bit having both of us at home for a while? Plus teething is pretty much a constant thing. DS has 5 teeth and #6 is working its way down (slowly).

CURRENT ROUTINE:
DS wakes around 7am wanting a bottle (he's on formula). After 60mLs or so he loses interest instantly and its really hard to get him to have more but eventually I'll get him to have about 150mLs all up (feeds are made up in 230mL lots).

I then use the left over formula to mix with rafferty's museli so that he's still getting the benefits.

He naps around 9.30 til 11ish (or at least stays in his cot contently, not always sleeping the whole time).

I have been trying not to give him a midday bottle and he'll have a decent amount of lunch (whether its mashed veggies, a rafferty's sachet and/or some yoghurt with fruit and maybe a premuim with vegemite - he likes feeding himself).

He REFUSES to drink water although sometimes will have some sips out of our drink bottles.

Another "nap" usually happens around 2-4 ish (not sleeping the whole time, again). After that he is screaming for a bottle. Again he struggles after 60mLs or so and eventually we might get him to have 150mLs after a battle.

His evening routine is pretty straight forward and he happily goes to bed around 6.30pm-8pm (depending on our evening movements).

Then he wakes between 11pm-1am for another bottle (which I wish he wouldnt have).

Is he trying to wean himself off milk?
Do I just reduce it even more?
How do I do this?
How do I achieve the balance of having a routine where his needs are being met AND mine are too?

[Tesseract]

To me there are two issues here.

Firstly, you are concerned about the amount of milk he is taking - you feel it is not enough? Is that right? What is his weight gain like? Is there concern about how much he drinks/eats?

Secondly, you are feeling like his routine isn't suiting you? What exactly do you mean? Is it the night waking that you don't want? The battling to get him to take more milk? Can you explain a little more, it's just that apart from the battling with the milk it sounds like a fairly standard baby routine to me.

Sorry for the barage of questions, I just feel like we need a little more info to help see this situation!

Tess xx

[meggs1]

Sorry you are suffering from PND, and struggling.

It sounds like the milk thing has become a worry. It might help to remember that if you were BF you wouldnt have any idea how much your baby was drinking at any feed. I hope it doesnt upset you to talk about BF, I just mean that you don't have to acheive a target amount, as long as growth and hydration are OK.

But I think it is too early to drop milk feeds. I think at that age I was doing milk feeds at wakeup, 10/11 , 2/3 and bedtime (plus overnight). Maybe your bub would be happier with smaller, more frequent milk feeds. You might want to add afternoon tea (vege mufffin etc) in there as well if he is waking up from his nap starving.

The routine of 2 naps and one overnight feed sounds pretty age appropriate. Like Tess said, can you say what specifically you find isn't working?

ETA: Re the overnight feed, I nightweaned my son at around 9 months but he was waking 1 - 2 hourly and had an intense feed to sleep association. That worked for a month or so, then we started night feeds again due to a series of ear infections, stopped it again at 13 months. Both times were pretty hard on both of us. The first time I did comfort settling (which is a bit like CC). The second time I did rocking/patting. Lots of crying both times. He recently started overnight feeds again for a few weeks (teething) but has stopped again on his own.

I guess what I'm saying is that if its only one wake-up it might not be worth the hassle of cutting it out.

This post has been edited by meggs1: 01/02/2013, 11:11 AM

[KRT]

I think you've had some good advice so far. 8-9 months is a classic age for babies being 'too busy' to bother with milk feeds. I thought my DS was ready to wean then, but by 10 months he'd got back into the swing of things.

I too would suggest you try to ignore how much/how little of the formula he takes at each feed. It's there if he wants it, and he'll take it if he needs it. I know it can be frustrating, especially when there's such an emphasis on getting enough food in the day so that they sleep all night. The problem is that that's not necessarily true.

Is there any particular reason why you don't want him to have a midday bottle?

As for water, it's one of those things that you need to have on hand and keep offering - but they'll get to it when they're ready.

ETA: I know my advice has been 'don't worry about it', but I also know how hard that is when you're struggling with PND. Do you feel you're getting any support with that?

This post has been edited by KRT: 02/02/2013, 10:26 AM

[bikingbubs]

Your routine looks pretty good - what are you wanting to change about it? Around 12 mths they will drop to 1 sleep (my ds did around 11mths, so a whole new routine!)
Agree with the others about milk - if he really wants it he will take it.

[Taffyk]

My DD is on roughly the same schedule - except sometimes we have a crazy night feed (like 4:30am). My DD is in childcare so this is her schedule at home and there.

In the morning she will refuse bottles but I never have stopped her having one if she wants.

I had PND and I think you need help - changing feeds isn't necessarily the answer.