[Tastris]

Hi there,

I was just wondering what are some typical rules/boundaries etc that you have for your 10 yr old girl?

Bed times? Chores? Routines? Rules?

Can your 10 yr old setup and bath/shower on their own?

My niece has come to live with us and we have a few things we are thinking of but would like to know what other girls the same age have?

She tries alot to mother her little sister(2) and when we say things to the little one she likes to say no its ok, she's ok etc. It is the first time she has ever lived with her sister also so we know its new to her etc.

TIA!!!

[Chelli]

I have an almost 10yo DD.
For her, bedtime is at 7.30pm, and we usually give her some time to wind down with a book until about 8.00pm. That is on a school night, on weekends and during holidays we are much more flexible.

We have a roster for chores with all of our kids. That includes feeding the animals, emptying the dishwasher and tidying the bathroom. They are responsible for cleaning their own rooms, but I'm not strict about rooms - but I work on the premise that if they want to ask to go somewhere or do something (like the movies, or having friends sleep over,etc) it won't happen unless their rooms are tidy.

She can run her own bath and shower, but we keep the door unlocked in case she needs help. We like to give her privacy now.

[Jemstar]

I have a 10 year old son.

He takes full responsibility for his personal hygiene. I only occasionally have to ask him to have a shower.
He has an 8.30 bedtime during school term, a bit more relaxed in the holidays. He has to clean his own room, change his own bedding and put the washing machine on to wash it. He empties the dishwasher, picks up the dog poo and is expected to help out with other jobs as asked. He gets himself ready for school during school term, no assistance needed. He sometims helps with cooking, making salads etc becau he likes to do it.

[SeaPrincess]

Our eldest is 7, but I imagine he'll be showering alone by 10. I know that by 10, I had locked everyone else out when I was showering!

Other jobs I used to do at 10:
My room was my job - dusting, vacuuming, etc. Mum did the sheets while I was at school. I imagine I was supposed to make my bed daily, but I don't actually remember doing that until I went away to school.
General dusting.
Clean bathroom sink.
Get washing in, not folded.
Help fold washing.
Some ironing (mostly flat stuff, but I was at boarding school at 12 and doing all my own ironing, so I must have learnt other things at some point).
Set table for dinner.
Dishes after dinner, mainly drying/putting away.
I was probably about 10 when I started wanting to help with cooking.
I headed out on my bike after school and had to be back by 5.
I didn't really have a bedtime, but Mum says I used to take myself to bed at 8.30.

That looks like a lot, but there were 3 of us helping with some jobs, and mum used to make a list of jobs on Saturday and we each had to do our own room and then got to choose 1 or 2 of the other jobs.

[Carmen02]

My 10yr old DD takes care of her personal hygene but needs to be reminded and told when to do it alot..which i hope she will do soon..she goes to bed 7.30 school nights..8pm other nights.

Chores she cleans out cat litter tray..make sure water for cats is ok..take recycling to outside bin and keep her room clean. She does over mother 2yr old brother with me very close by we are teaching her to take a step back and let him explore. Basic rules are treat everyone with respect..talk to everyone with a nice voice no attitude.

[JKTMum]

My 10 year old has been able to shower herself, including washing her own hair, for a couple of years now and yes is going through the stage where the door has to remain shut when she is in the shower or getting dressed. She is a bit slack with keeping her room clean (we are working on it ) but is expected to put her dirty clothes in the laundry (including sorting them into the respective hampers) and folding and putting away her clean clothes. Bedtime is by 9pm, if she starts whinging about getting up in the morning then it goes earlier. She helps feed the pets and does some general cleaning, dishes, packing and unpacking the dishwasher, bringing in or hanging out the washing but these arent regular chores, just when she is asked.

After school she is expected to hang up her bag and unpack homework and lunchbox, get any notes out for me etc. She also makes her own school lunch now in the mornings. I started all three kids doing that last year as they all wanted different things and it was driving me nuts (one wanted butter on their sandwich, another didnt, one wanted their fruit cut a certain way, another wanted it differently lol, I finally told them they were old enough to do it themselves). Everything is in the cupboard or fridge and they know what they can and cant have (ie must have sandwich/salad, one piece of fruit, water bottle, some form of dairy (either cheese or yoghurt, not both) and only one snack).

With her 'parenting' her little sister, that could just be a transition thing, wanting to be in control of something when she is going through such a change of circumstances that she feels like she has no control. Go gently, but just explain that you need to make certain decisions for her sister. I know even now my DS tries to 'parent' DD1 (she has Aspergers so he gets stressed when she acts out, especially at school or in social situations) and it causes all sorts of clashes between the two of them. I need to sit my DS down when he starts up and just calmly explain that if there is an issue he needs to come to us and we will decide whether it is something that needs correcting.

[Tastris]

thank you so much for your replies!

It has shed some light on a few things and also confirmed a few things!

Thank you all again!!