[michellew68]

We did the research as best we could to find out the pitfalls of being older parents. It doesnt seem too unusual these days. The one thing I wasnt prepared for is the lack of friends.

When I told the ladies I worked with that we were going to have a child they all thought I was crazy. They all had kids working or moving out of home. I had two teenagers myself and my DSDs are adults.

Everyone I know that is my age is having such different life experiences to me. We have nothing in common now. I have met a couple of lovely ladies through playgroup but with at least ten years difference in our age, and they are going on to have more babies, there is not a lot in common there either. They are too busy with more than one little one either at home or school.

I had heaps of friends when I was in my twenties and having my boys.
I cant wait until DD starts kindy to meet some mums as that is two years away!
How have others coped with this?

I have to add that deciding to have this gorgeous child is the best thing I ever did. At two she just cant hold a very intellectual conversation.

[axiomae]

I feel loneliness as a 27 year old mum. For my friends that's pretty young to have a LO, everyone else lives for the night and going out and I'm very much a day creature these days. EB is my friend, oh sad I know!

[katiebear26]

i'm not an older mum but i get the loneliness! it's not just age that can set you apart from other mums in the playgroups, it's lifestyle and parenting choices and interests...

can you try to find new playgroups for your little one that might have older mums? maybe start your own, advertise across a wider area, i'd be willing to travel for good conversation :-)

good luck OP, and good on you for having another. my mum is an 'older' mum and i wouldn't change her for the world - so much life experience that i'm now learning even more from :-)

[jameses mum]

All my friends from school are grandparents - or have adult children.
My child is 8, I am 50. I find it difficult.

[Bloomer]

I know what you mean, I was actually really lucky and met a group of mums on here from my area. We were about food, coffee playgrounds..I was desperate my husband travelled I had no family within 2000km I had days when the only adult I spoke to was selling me coffee. It is the same for the younger mums, some you just click with.It helped but took a while to get into. Now our kids are at school we still meet in holidays and the kids have a ball.

School is better I turned 50 just before my youngest started school.. I am the eldest mums but now I am 52 there are 2 other mums joining me in the 50s finally... My husband who is 4 years older than me has never been the eldest dad in either of y kids classes.. The mum I Have spent most of my time with has kids the same age.. Her mum had her when she was 45.. She is 12 years younger and also a long way away. Things change when they have younger ones though.

[michellew68]

Thanks for the replies. I guess it just doesnt matter about age it is just circumstances.

[fancie]

My one and only was born just before my 40th birthday. I know how you're feeling, OP. Those first few years were really difficult for me as I had given up work, all our friends with children were well and truly back at work, their kids were in high school or uni.

It took a little while but I now have some wonderful friends (about my age, too)! One great friend has had custody of two of her grandchildren since the day each of them was born so although she is a bit older than me, we are both going through the early adolescence stage together, me for the first time, she's well experienced!

Hope you find some great friends soon to share this wonderful time with you and your little one.

This post has been edited by fancie: 29/01/2013, 04:38 PM

[CheekyCat]

One of my friends is 12 years older than me & a couple of others are 6-7 years older. Maybe you just haven't met mum's you have clicked with yet.


I do agree circumstances affect friendships. With the above friendships all our children are similar ages, with no new babies arriving.


The start of school has opened a whole new door with meeting people. For me it has taken time for friendships to develop though. When each of my children has started school I have met new people that have (over time) gone from the occasional chat at school pick up, to organising play dates, to just get together purely to socialise with each other.


I have to admit I do find it hard to 'put myself out there' when meeting new people at school but I push myself to do it nd the outcome has always been worth the social anxiety!!

This post has been edited by CheekyCat: 29/01/2013, 04:52 PM

[hopinfor5now!!]

i could've written the same. i joined a playgroup with my now 4.5 yr old becasue the older ones were at school & i felt she was a bit lost....truth was it was me. had a good bunch of mums. fast forward to last year & i rejoined again with my 18mth old. went to the same centre but of course people move on so was with a different bunch of 'girls'. i say 'girls' becasue i was old enough to be their mother!! i went for 3 weeks & gave it up as a bad joke. absolutely nothing in common. tried to find an older mums playgroup but none in our area.

when my 4.5 yr old went to kinder last year,although they wewre a nice group of parents, i was still the odd one out being an older mum & a mother of a large family. i am lonely at times but with DD2 now a little older we go shopping,out to lunch,the park & i am quite happy most of the time for it to be just us.the time wont last long & before i know it she will be off to school.

dont have an answer but know youre not the only one

[countrymel]

I was born when my mother was 40 - back in the 1970s this was a bit weird! People automatically assumed I was number 6 or 7 in my family not number 2!

She made friends with children our age - this meant that she made new friends who were 15 - 20 years younger than herself.

Interestingly enough her 'pre children' friends were mainly about 15 - 20 years older than she! (she had moved to a new country when she was 30 and it had just panned out that way.)

She did find herself in a bit of a 'wise woman' role with her younger friends and 'a ray of sunshine' with her older ones.... but it all panned out in the end..