[misty123]

Hi guys

Had to post something that's been on my mind a lot lately. How much leave is everyone planning / hoping to take once your baby is born?

I'm still undecided and this whole "how much leave to take" is getting me down a bit. I'm in a lucky situation where I was able to have 12 months off with DS1 while still recieving some type of income (mainly due to accured leave I had kept up my sleave over many years of continued service to my employer). I had 12 months off work and I loved and cherished every second of it. I loved being at home with him, and wished i could have stayed at home for a few more years - i didn't miss work at all, but financially, I couldn't stay at home for any longer so returned to work 3 days per week which was enough for us to live off. My husband works full time and prior to DS1 we where both are on fairly good paying jobs (not fantastic, but not bad, just a smidge above average). My work at 3 days is going well and it's a good balance between home and work life while keeping my fingers in my career so to speak but in the back of my mind, i still wish I could be a stay at home mum - just for these early years. Or have more time at home and less at work.

Now that we are having a second bub, the idea of wanting to stay at home is even stronger and whenever I think about how long to take off I feel horrible. A year dosn't feel long enough with two? So many of my friends with kids don't work (husband supports) and have no pressure to return as they are in a financial situation where that works for them by either having higher incomes or lower mortgages but they also seem to not miss out on stuff either (they always seem to be buying new clothes, have foxtel, buying new furniture, cars even and new items around the house, going out for dinner all the time etc). Now working only 3 days, we have had to cut back dramatically (even though our "old non family life" wasn't extravant by any means. Having a family brings a different lifestyle anyway and we are happy to go without to spend more time at home and spend more the kids and what they need than us. But I find myself getting so jealous (to myself) and asking the question how can couples afford to live off one income? I just don't get it. Our mortgage is high, but it's "average" now days and one average income would struggle to pay it.

In terms of my leave I think I can scrape enough leave to get 8 months with some type of income but not enough for 12 or longer like i had hoped and i'm scared that with two babies I'll just want more time off this time round.

Are any of the ladies here worrying/thinking of the same thing? I'd love to hear what others are planning on doing. I hope I don't sound spoilt or demanding and that this hasn't come out the wrong way. Every day i appreciate that we are happy and healthy and that's all that matters, but in the back of my mind I also know that these next couple of years (especially if we only have 2 kids like we are planning) will go so quickly and i just want to enjoy them as much as I can while they are so little.

Sorry for this long winded post! I sure can woffle on

This post has been edited by misty123: 29/01/2013, 03:32 PM

[MrsLexiK]

I'm from May but your topic just came up in "active topics." I will be taking anywhere between 6 - 18 months off. The only expense we have that is not covered by DH's wage is our food bill, I am thankful to the PPL in that I believe we will be able to make it stretch for a minimum of 6 months - 18 months only paying for our food/nappies etc. I want a part time job either near home or near where my DH works so at around 6 months I will probably start looking for that so if I get it first up great, if I don't we won't have to dig into our savings to be able to survive. I also want to study, and I will look at options as to whether we receive anything from the govt if I do go back to study and how much this would be. But I want to pick a family friendly profession that will allow me to work part time or flexi hours or from home and be something that I enjoy whilst also adding to our income (I am thinking long term, my DH is 10 years older then me so I we will rely on my income at one point in time I am sure)

We can do that above because we have savings and we don't have a large mortgage. We brought a home which we qualified for on my wage alone (DH at the time earnt almost double me) We do have foxtel, we do holiday, we have big insurance premiums, we pay rego on 3 cars and 1 bike, my DH has an expensive hobby (I enjoy the hobby as well but I probably go about once or twice a year, he is gone on average once a month) I prefer certain labels. I have done a budget and unless I am missing something big we can afford the above things still (albeit not all the time and my shopping habbit will have to only be at sales) on my DH wage along with continuing to save. But really the only reason we can afford those is because our biggest bill (our mortgage) is not all that big in comparision to a lot of people. We also have a lot of expenses we could down grade (ie PHI is at the moment top, we could go down to mid or basic, Foxtel samething, comp on the car we have a low excess on our insurances but we could if we had to increase them because we do have the money sitting there in savings) if we had to. We could also sell one of the cars, (we have 2 everyday cars and a 4wd that is only used for 4wd or towing, we would sell my car and DH would just drive the 4wd - which would be a pain as he would have to change the tyers on it all the time but if we had to we could change our ways)

If we were to have a second child before the first was at school, I am not so sure we would be able to do the above still. We have "free" childcare offered at the moment, but with 2 we would likely split them so the grandparent who has offered would have D1 one day whilst D2 went to CC and then vice versa.

This post has been edited by MrsLexiK: 29/01/2013, 03:47 PM

[Mizadele]

Misty - I feel the same way. I work 4 short days a week ATM. And I petty nervous about taking time off. We are planning on a years maternity leave to keep my options open at work, but have done the math and should only be dropping $100 a week, once we factor in the additional payment. Next year I am hoping to return to study and using the extra govt student income to supplement that missing work pay.
We are naturally very frugal people so we don't go out much out or spend alot of money. So we are saving as much as we can now as a buffer for the coming down period.

[Nervy]

Misty, i will be taking 24 weeks off work. (i only took 3 months off with my first bubby :-( ) We simply cannot afford to live on one wage and because my DH is self employed, there is no guarantee of income if it rains for a month or he breaks his leg etc etc. I dont know how people do it either, i just assume they earn more money than us, or the family tax benefits arent that bad at all when you dont work! (We claim annually because we dont know what we are going to earn, and for DS last year we got $1200, which, for a whole year, does not go too far at our house! We pay what i think is alot for our mortgage AND have two brand new car loans, plus the regular credit card! In saying this, we have been to fiji for the last couple of years and other overseas annual holidays before DS was born, i guess what i am saying is, If we want to live the way we do with the holidays, family weekends away, always nice food & wine & beer in the fridge, being able to go shopping and buy new clothes and toys for my son and drive a nice car, both of us will have to work! I actually enjoy the balance aswell (part time like you) xx

[misty123]

Hi ladies

THanks for responding, it's actually comforting to hear (even though i know there are so many new mums out there with the same issues). I should count myself very lucky that i'm able to take the leave off that I'm planning to, I know a lot of mums don't even get that option. I guess I just find it hard not to compare against others and want what I can't have.

Since posting, I've had time to think the leave arrangements over and I am actually fairly happy now that I've gotten used to the idea. I had to remind myself that work is not that bad! Like you nervy, i too enjoy the balance and I must admit find work "a break" compared to running after a toddler at home so when i get home I'm usually fresher and have more energy and really give him LOTS of quality time on my days off which I just love. And you are right, without me working I'd probably be miserable if i had to scrimp and save every cent just to survive. Things are still tough for us, but not impossible and I like being bale to buy the odd thing at the shops when a sale is on when I can afford it!

Thanks girls! I'm feeling much better about it all. xxoxoxo!

[debsinhanoi]

I'm taking 5-6 months off. We live overseas and even if we came home to have the baby we wouldn't be eligible for the PPL which is a lot of a shame. I'm lucky that my employer has a 3 month full salary maternity leave policy and I can also have 9 months unpaid leave on top of that.

Unfortunately I'm the main wage earner in our house so I have to go back to work or our mortgage payments and savings plan would start going backwards rather than forwards. Luckily I have two months accrued leave so I can stretch the three months to five and can maybe work out a sixth month of part time work before I have to go back full time.

It's our first so I really don't know how I'll feel when I have to go back to work. I guess I'm in the mindset that we don't really have a choice so we have to work with what we've got. Luckily being overseas means we can afford some help around the house so when we're home at night we can cook together and play with our baby and concentrate on spending time together because someone has already done the washing and cleaned the bathroom. I'm concentrating on those blessings since if we were in Australia we certainly wouldn't have that luxury.

[countrychic29]

Another interloper from May here.
I have the same concerns OP, i currently do not have a huge amount of leave, around 6-7weeks so will be relying on the PPL and supplementing that by spreading out my leave payments.
We have budgeted since finding out we were pg to live of a reasonable amount that we felt we could manage and save the balance, the saved portion, along with leave & PPL will cover our household expenses plus OB fees and all baby needs for 6 months (until DH becomes full time after he finishes uni)
We just wont be saving anything during that time.
We have extra savings that i do not want to dip into but can if necessary.
I'm lucky to be able to go back to work whenever i want and pick my hours and work from home. At the moment i think i may even do 2 days a week from home from when bubs is 3 months (this way i might get my new bathroom)
In a perfect world i would be a SAHM but until DH finishes uni and starts earning a full time wage it will be a bit of a struggle.

[Relly23]

I have no idea how people can afford to live like they do off one income. My sister has two little girls and has not worked since the day she found out she was pregnant with the first. All cruisy kicking her feet up, going shopping and relaxing until the baby arrived.

Her oldest is in school now and she just spends time with the little one. They are NEVER short on money - in fact, she's almost constantly out shopping. I'm so jealous of those mums who are in a position to be full time stay at home and not feel like a financial burden.

I am going to take as long as I can off work. I don't intend to return to proper work for a fair while (at least a year). I know the income will be very slim though, so I will have to work when my DP isn't at work (probably every Saturday night until late and every Sunday). I figure 8 hours a week will probably be more of a "welcome" get out of the house and let daddy spend some time with his little girl, than it would be if I was having to return to part or full time work. (or at least that's what i'm telling myself so I don't feel so resentful towards people who seem to have it so easy financially).

Oh, and my work offers maternity leave. A whole 105 days of UNPAID maternity leave. Hooray? *rolls eyes*.

I guess we all just have to make the best of our situation and try not to think about what we don't have

[nikonmum]

Iv been thinking about this for a few weeks too.
I'm a full time casual worker so I don't have any leave to use. I'd always thought id take at least a yr or 2 off work but the reality is work is putting the pressure on to come back 2 months after bubs arrives and I don't know how to say no( even though my contract ends at the end of April) another worry for us is if this bub is more than a week late I don't qualify for PPL.
We have done our best to keep living cost low by not having car loans, hire purchases, or extra's like foxtel. But we do have a reasonable mortgage and the usual household expenses (minus power as we have solar panels, also in prep for bub) on an average week DH makes enought to run the household excluding groceries (he is also a casual full time worker) so dipping into savings is a very real possibility.
I too wonder how couples have 2 and 3 kids on one wage, I'd love more than anything to spend every waking minute with my babies but I don't know how that would work while giving them everything I missed out on as a kid (swimming lessons, sports etc)
DH tells me I worry too much and it's not good for the baby lol

Deep down I think I can stomach putting this little bub in family day care at 7/8 months I guess and go back to work part time if they will have me, hopefully when we have number 2 I can stay home longer

[kahm]

Hi guys,
I guess there's two issues here.
1 - How long can you afford to have off; and
2 - How long do you WANT to have off

Our plans at the moment are that I'll take the first year off and, given it's my first, I have NO idea whether I'll love being at home for that time or whether I'll be desperate to get back to work. My guess is that I'll miss bits of work when I'm at home (like the grown-up brain work) but that I'll find not working to be really rewarding too.
Our ideal plan is for DP and I to do a swap of the SAHP job after a year and I'll go back to work once bub doesn't need a breast feed feeding during work hours. He wants to take between 3 and 6 months off to be a full time dad.
I'm guessing that I'll find the transition back to work much harder than the transition to staying home, but at least I'll be able to leave bub with her dad and know that DP and I will both have a turn at very different experiences.

We're planning on having one more after this one and so the only question is whether we can afford to operate like this for both kids - seems like it wouldn't be fair otherwise. I'm really lucky and my work gives me 14 weeks at full pay (I'll take it at half, so 28 weeks) and then there's the PPL for 18 weeks, which will help. DP's got long service leave he can use when his turn comes and between us our employers will hold our jobs for us for 104 weeks but (obviously) not all of that is paid leave. I can't see us using all 104 weeks between us.

I'm looking forward to being a parent who works outside the home though, I think it's something I'll be proud of doing, even if it's a juggling act at times. I really value knowing that I do good work and I'm looking forward to letting my kids see that I'm proud of myself, I think it'll be good for all of us