[Sunnycat]

My favourite colour is pink, I love all things that sparkle, I love jewellery, accessories, make up and colour and florals and all sorts of "girly" crap. I love dresses and shoes and anything bright and shiny. Skin care products, hair care products I love them all.

Apparently I am expecting a DD and alas have gone out and purchased a few pink items and hair accessories and other kinds of crap, because I like them. A few people have commented asking why I would do this to a daughter? It's not with malicious intent, I think just an extension of things I love and because I'm the one buying them I am choosing what I like (if that makes sense).

I'm not into sexual isn't children at all. I do like dresses though. Obviously when she is old enough to choose her own clothes I will buy what she chooses (obviously within reason).

It's weird because with my son I never gave it much thought, he has pink clothes and nappies and toys and copious amounts of sparkling crap and no one has ever commented and I never thought about it much before. He has dolls and a toy kitchen but has navigated to loving his toy trucks.

I guess my question is does it send the wrong message to dress a baby girl in headbands and dresses and tights and sparkle? I don't want her growing up thinking she HAS to like these things. Is it the start of stereotyping her into a pigeon hole?

I hope my question makes sense!

[SoxyMama]

I believe there is something innate about most girls liking girly stuff and being attracted to it regardless. I had a party of 5 year olds - about 10 of them and my DD got makeup from her aunt. You should have seen the girls giggling faces; the rest of the party was a bit of a makeup party. They ALL loved the glitz and the glamour. No-one was standing around guiding that, they were all just drawn to it. That has to say something.

I like glitz and pink and all things girly. My girls do to. They want to wear makeup and be girly. I haven't taught them that; it is just something they are.

[economist99]

Nah. I'm a feminist and I wear pink all the time. I also dressed my DD in pink and loved it - the joy of having a girl! The groovers dressed their baby daughters in black but ended up regretting it.

Anyway even before she turned one she expressed strong preferences for anything sparkly, pink, and would ONLY wear pretty dresses every day NOTHING else.

You child will start expressing their desires and own opinions very easly on so why not enjoy that tiny window to dress her in something you choose!!?

[soontobegran]

I also think it is inate in most girls to prefer the softer or 'prettier' colours and actually see nothing wrong with it at all.
As the mum of 4 girls and 1 boy who was born into a 'pink home' he soon let us know that was not what he liked and it had nothing to do with us trying to force colours/toys/games on him that were supposed to be gender specific.
Enjoy it sunnycat, she will let you know when the time comes whether she wants to keep up the pinks...mine didn't and that was fine.

When women and men and girls and boys have equal amounts of oestogen and testosterone then perhaps we'll see different behaviours but since it isn't going to happen then I say go with the flow.

[CallMeProtart]

I hate girly stuff and dressed DD very unisex. Now she lives to wear makeup and only wants princess stuff

I think there's probably more danger in subconsciously focusing on looks in a child. I do worry because I'm always telling DD how beautiful she is - because I can't help it, she is! I tell DS the same, but there comes a point when girls clothes become more 'dressy' than boys clothes and it becomes more instinctive to tell them they are beautiful when they are dressed up (for a party etc) - and at that point I think girls start getting a lot more looks-focused complements than boys.
I don't want them to think looks are that important. But I can't keep my mouth shut when they are so georgeous!
I tell them they are smart and so on too - but tbh they are georgeous more than they are smart at the moment so they hear that more

[starfire]

Make the most of it! Your DD may end up hating the colour pink as she gets older lol!
I know I went through a stage where I HATED anything girly, including dolls! But now I love pink and think girly things are cute (go figure)

I don't see an issue with it and have purchased a lot of things in pink for our baby (who is said to be a girl as well) and I haven't even thought twice about it.

[Ianthe]

Possibly.

But I do think that if you like pink sparkly stuff then enjoy it! I found the girly stuff so nice-even the basic Tshirts would have a little ruffle on the sleeves. Loved it after three boys.

[*LucyE*]

I guess my question is does it send the wrong message to dress a baby girl in headbands and dresses and tights and sparkle? I don't want her growing up thinking she HAS to like these things. Is it the start of stereotyping her into a pigeon hole?

I don't think it is a problem but then I did dress my DD is copious amounts of pink and frills.

My quasi feminist SIL insisted that her daughter was not going to wear pink and refused gifts of pink clothing etc. Her DD then grew to an age where she could express her own wishes and would only wear pink LOL. I feel that SIL turned it into an issue because of her stance.

My DD's current favourite colour is royal blue so I don't think the pink onesies did her too much harm. The important thing is to listen to them and maintain an open dialogue. My DD loves skirts, sparkles and frills but she doesn't dress in them to please others.

[CallMeProtart]

The groovers dressed their baby daughters in black but ended up regretting it.

Did not regret it thanks! DD always rocked the dark colours better than the pastels - her black onesie with black sequin hairband at 4mo is a favourite memory! She was such a funky chicken

But once she got to choose her own clothes she prefers brighter things and I don't get a say I have the MOST BEAUTIFUL dark grey velvet opera-style coat - will she wear it? No. But her crappy pink stuff - oh yeah.

I also think it is inate in most girls to prefer the softer or 'prettier' colours and actually see nothing wrong with it at all.
As the mum of 4 girls and 1 boy who was born into a 'pink home' he soon let us know that was not what he liked and it had nothing to do with us trying to force colours/toys/games on him that were supposed to be gender specific.

It may still have been socialised though. I think it's more innate for ALL kids to like bright colours. I remember taking DS to the shoe shop and trying to get him 'boys' shoes in their horrible dark greens and blacks - and all he wanted was the girls stuff - silver - pink - gold - beautiful! And who could blame him? The boys stuff was really ugly and dull in comparison...
But I think it gets bred out of boys pretty early. I haven't forced anything on my kids but they still come home from daycare with the whole "pink is for girls" b*llsh*t. And even subconsciously, he must notice at some point that all his clothes ARE a very different hue from DD's, and I guess he'll internalise that.

[BetteBoop]

If pink was an innate preference why did it used to be a male colour only a generation ago? If make up is a feminine biological imperative, why have men worn it throughout the ages, and why is it a male grooming practice in many cultures?

Socialisation along gender roles is so intense, it's impossible to prise apart what is nature and what is nurture. As is evidenced in this thread already, people presume because all little girls like something, it's proof of biology.

But from the moment a baby is born, the contents of their nappy determines how they are dressed and ultimately how they are treated.

As a parent, we dress our kids in what we prefer ourselves so if these things are you preference, it's natural you would choose them for a child.

But little girls are told from day one that their uniform is pink and sparkly. Regardless of what you choose, by age 3, when she's old enough to know she's a girl and identify with other girls, this is what she will want to wear.