[~chiquita~]

Posted here for more traffic.

We've worked really hard with DS in the last 12 months and finally his receptive language is in the average range for his age. We had our first appointment with ST for the year and she asked me to start 'waiting' when he wants something, whether that be a snack, toy, me etc.

It's only been two days but this is really hard. I'm not expecting him to say the word but any verbalisation will do. He won't say anything at all. He just throws himself on the ground, hits things and starts to howl.

I know every child is different but just wanted to get an idea of how long your child reacted like this before they started to attempt to speak? When will he get it?

Thanks

This post has been edited by ~chiquita~: 08/02/2013, 01:19 PM

[mummy.to.one]

It's hard, we go through this with DS. His speechie has said the same thing, don't just give when he does his hand shake, or grunting or crying and pointing to wait for some verbalising, but when they have only known one way it's hard, especially when they don't understand.

I choose my times, and don't push it all the time. We have taught him to say 'more' so we try to get him to say that. So whenever we give him something we say 'more' first and try to get him to repeat.

We have seen improvement over a few months, but it also depends on his mood.

[opethmum]

It is hard but the more you stand your ground the better the results. You need to drum into him that he needs to communicate and if he throws himself on the ground and has a tantrum then you deal with the tantrum and discipline accordingly. I know it is hard my DD did that and the first few weeks were rough but she now knows if she want something she asks for it.
My ST said that mealtimes and getting a bottle and water and the essentials are not negotiable in that they can make non verbal cues to you and everything else is fair game in that they must give you a verbal cue to get it.
Unless if there is something else going on most kids can say what or motion and give verbal grunts it is the fact that they do not want to and being stubborn as they are will rail against you and they will throw everything at you because until now they have gotten everything that they want without having to ask or motion it lands in their laps. Your DS can do it you just have to keep motivated to push him through kicking and screaming for him to communicate appropriately his needs to you and others without the tantrums.
Good luck and keep hanging in there, it will get better.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Our speech therapist told us to give him a choice. So he points to the fruit bowl. We say, "do you want the apple or orange?". Playing ball - "do you want me to roll or throw?". He points to the car toy - "do you want the red or the blue one?".

If you're not doing it this way, I would highly recommend it. It 'flows' more, like a normal conversation rather than insisting on them using words. One thing our ST said was never say "use your words" as that just creates pressure. Put them in a situation where they feel comfortable talking and they are doing it without really thinking about it. And we definitely responded to any attempts at words. So if I asked "do you want the apple or orange" and he replied with "app", I would repeat "apple" and give it to him.

If he's having big tanties over it, I personally would back off and just take the pressure off. Try playing with him, side by side, and attempt some words. It's far more relaxed and you can usually get them talking.

[mez70]

The other thing our speechie did with our DD was to teach her makaton Signing as well so she was learning the words and the signs for things. within a couple of weeks of starting speech and a faciliated playgroup for kids with S/N (where they also signed) we started noticing a huge improvement in her who demeanor as she learned the signs for things like more, finished, wait, stop, go eat, drink etc. It gave her and us 2 way conversation and I asked why and shouldn't we be pushing words, and what she said was that kids can often sign before they talk but as long as you use both together what will happen is as they "get" the word the sign will drop off which happened with us. The key was giving her a means of being understood once we were signing etc her frustration at not being understood subsided so communication became more pleasant to attempt.

I think it is harder for the primary care giver as we are so clued in to what they want and generally what the mean that without realising we can actually sabotage communication as we can and do anticpate the need or want. I was also enouraged to have DD around other kids as much as possible for her to model speech and communication. She was attending EI, and a EI playgroup. At their suggestion we joined a mainstream play group and then when preschool started she was in a double session 3 year old kinder group rather than the single session all with the aim of helping her model and learn. Kinder were great as she had no aide but they were able to understand her attempts and also knew some basic signs as well....Good luck it will be harder on you than him

[Carmen02]

ill choose your time when to push it and when not too, it is a tough thing for you both to go through! my 8yr old DS still has severe delay but he got very frustrated at me at times and still does! took quite sometime before I had him fully ask for things all the time. my 2yr 3mth old DS still isnt saying anything at all i wish he would!

[~chiquita~]

Thanks for your replies everyone, I appreciate it.

If you're not doing it this way, I would highly recommend it. It 'flows' more, like a normal conversation rather than insisting on them using words. One thing our ST said was never say "use your words" as that just creates pressure. Put them in a situation where they feel comfortable talking and they are doing it without really thinking about it. And we definitely responded to any attempts at words. So if I asked "do you want the apple or orange" and he replied with "app", I would repeat "apple" and give it to him.

If he's having big tanties over it, I personally would back off and just take the pressure off. Try playing with him, side by side, and attempt some words. It's far more relaxed and you can usually get them talking.

I think I may try it this way too. The last couple of days have been really stressful (for me anyway). The ST makes it look so easy although he did throw a hissy fit at her too. I'm waiting before I take him out of his cot in the morning, trying to get him to say mummum instead of whinging. He can say mum but doesn't call me mum to get my attention, it's grunting, shrieking etc. I'm also not getting up anymore when he grabs my hand and pulls me. I get pulled around the house a lot.

The kid is playing me though, he was so distressed I gave in yesterday and he stopped crying immediately. I have to toughen up, ignore the tantrum and be consistent. I just feel like such a meanie.

I may look at finding another speechie too, I'm not sure if she's the right one. I like the idea of makaton signing too and I'll chat to daycare about it as well.

I wish I could pay someone to do it for me at home, I've no patience with this sort of thing.

[Carmen02]

I may look at finding another speechie too, I'm not sure if she's the right one. I like the idea of makaton signing too and I'll chat to daycare about it as well.

I wish I could pay someone to do it for me at home, I've no patience with this sort of thing.

good luck! If you dont feel the speechie is the right one defiently find another! thats important especially with dealing with important people
I wish someone would be available for that!!!!!! lol I have 2 with huge speech delays and no patience lol!

[Jenflea]

I hear you on the no patience thing.
I was really slack over Christmas and just got out of the habit of doing the exercises with my daughter.
I just hate sitting there for the 10 to 20 minutes a day, every single day, doping the same stuff over and over.
Sends me back to my school days full of homework

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

OP, try doing the exercise in your every day life rather than a separate exercise eg cooking, playing, reading, cleaning up, etc. I found sitting down purposefully to do the exercise caused us both to be a bit stressed out.

And definitely find another Therapist if this one doesn't 'gel'. For example, our Speechie told us to back right off if ds became frustrated as the one thing kids can control is what goes in and out of their mouth (food and speech) - you can't force them to eat, or talk. And trying to is counter-productive and very stressful for you both. It can often become a battle of wills, and you don't want that to happen. ds sessions and exercises were fun and play time for him, I don't think he was aware it was a lesson at all.