[misse10]

My DS is 8mo and has 3 solid meals of puree each day (plus 5 BF) and I give him fruit in a mesh feeder, but I feel like I should be starting finger food so I don't leave it too late and give him problems accepting real food later.

The problem is I am TERRIFIED of him choking to death. I am a naturally anxious person and have been treated for PND, but I am trying to do what's best for my baby...but it's stressing me more than I could imagine. Today I gave him a 1/4 of a soft fresh plum and my heart was racing so much and I was so terrified I thought I was going to burst into tears and I had to take it off the poor fellow.

I know they have a gag reflex and its all part of learning, but i'm worried about him just sucking down a big lump and it getting stuck. He did suck down a chunk of mango accidentally when he was a bit younger and I think it got stuck for a second because he suddenly looked scared and starting crying/going red and i haven't felt confident since.

do you have any reassuring words, tips or really safe foods to start with? Or some way I could try finger food without having a mental breakdown while doing it? Is it better to give big hunks of food, so he doesn't try to swallow it all, or teeny tiny pieces that they couldn't choke on but that they can pick-up and self feed??

thanks so much.

This post has been edited by misse10: 21/01/2013, 07:15 PM

[meggs1]

I'm pretty sure the risk of choking (as opposed to gagging) is actually higher when the baby isn't in control of the food.

You can also minimise the risk by making sure your son is sitting up in a high chair (as opposed to running around concentrating on something else) and not offering the high risk stuff (whole nuts, marshmallows, popcorn, apple chunks etc)

I've also found my DS was better with a whole fruit/piece of toast/chop bone etc than chunks cut off by me, that way he could only gnaw off a small piece and by the time he's managed that its pretty mushy anyway.

[elizabethany]

start with softer foods, such as watermelon and cheese sticks, as it is harder for then to choke on stuff that disintergrates easily. Have a chat with your local playgroup association/mach nurse/childrens centres about safe feeding courses (usually a couple of hours) that they may run.

Maybe do a first aid course so that you feel confident in what to do if something does go wrong. And have a chat with your GP on ways to manage your fear and anxiety over the issue.

We all worry about this, but learnign to deal with whole foods it is an important part of growing up. You will be fine, but it is OK to get some help from the community nurses.

[ubermum]

Start with soft food that won't block a windpipe so you feel more comfortable. Mashed food he can play with and lick off his fingers until you get a bit more relaxed. My 7mo is having grapes cut into 4's, cherries cut into 4s (de stoned of course), cucumber and other bits of soft fruit and veg. I also gave her fish fillet on the weekend. The only soft food I don't give her unless I am in control or it's mashed is banana- she loves it so much she just keeps stuffing it in. I have to give her a small piece at a time. Spaghetti is good, he'll gag on it, but won't choke.

[noi'mnot]

Another vote for a first aid course, to give you the confidence to know what to do if something does go wrong.

There's a big difference between choking and gagging, but that didn't stop my parter totally freaking out every single time our little one gagged. It took him awhile to figure out the difference.

As PPs said, start with the softer things like soft fruits and watermelon. Take it slowly day by day, and you'll both build up your confidence and skills gradually. Good luck!

[RCTP]

I totally understand how you feel - when I first gave my daughter toast I actually started to cry with anxiety and fear.

Those gums even without teeth are pretty impressive at chewing.

As some PPs have said start with soft things and in all honesty if you are so very worried book yourself onto a First Aid Course for Babies (St John's Ambulance do them) so you would know what to do calmly in the event of bub choking or any emergency - that may ease your anxiety all round if you haven't done one already.

[KRT]

When the mango got stuck, he was gagging, and the gagging was what brought it up. The red in the face, coughing, crying is a good sign - you can't cry or cough if your windpipe is blocked. And a strong gag reflex is a good thing - you're less likely to choke if your gag reflex makes you cough the food up before it gets too far down your throat.

Other than that, elizabethany has great advice. It can be scary, but they do need to learn.

[Riotproof]

Beware of anything small and round shaped, so grapes, cherry/grape tomatoes, cherries, or anything hard like raw carrot/apple/whole nuts.

Other than that, would you consider doing an infant first aid course? That way you will have a definite plan should choking occur.

[Excentrique]

I was like that with my first, with my second much more relaxed. I think I started off with bite sized soft cooked foods like pumpkin and potato, so they are really soft and easy to mush up. Don't stress too much OP, its not going to hurt your baby to stay on soft foods for a bit longer.

[tick]

It might help to read the baby-led weaning book too? (http://www.bookdepository.com/Baby-led-Weaning-Gill-Rapley/9780091923808) or even just do a bit of googling about it? BLW is all about finger foods and letting your child master their own gag-reflex etc so it could be reassuring to read about. My six month old has been on finger food for a few weeks now and it's amazing to watch what she can eat!

Also remember that choking is silent - gagging is noisy and unpleasant but it's a good thing, it is natures way of preventing choking.