[Gabbagabba]

Help! I'm frazzled, surrounded by boxes and crap from our move, and its just hit me that my boy will be starting school in two weeks and I don't feel ready!! I'm worried HE isn't ready but he is already 5 so I think he has to go?
We've been here two weeks now but he isn't coping well with the sudden move or the prospect of school. His routine is shot, he won't sleep cause its not his bedroom, he won't eat in the kitchen cause his 'spot' at the bench is different etc etc. He keeps asking about 'his' school (the one in Melbourne) and appears terrified of the local school we are enrolling him at (which I think is an ok school?)
Also we went shopping for bits of his uniform today and he cried because there is no red in his uniform and it's his favourite colour. He was inconsolable. I bought him red undies to wear but he said its not the same.
He is a sensitive little boy and I'm worried how he will go with big noisy classes, I kept him in family day care because he coped better with smaller groups but now I'm worried I've made a huge mistake.
Also he always been a really picky eater and I've been trying to get him eat from a lunchbox every day to practice for 'big school' but he's hardly eating anything. Just wants a toastie like his family day care lady made him.
Is anyone else's child like this? He has always been a bit highly strung, but I thought he was more resilient than this. This is my worst nightmare, I'd sort of felt like we managed his moods etc at home and now all my careful planning has gone out the window. I just can't see him coping at this big school. I don't know what to do. Please tell me I'm not the only one dreading this?
Sue

[howdo]

You should be able to contact the school next week to set up a meeting to talk about your concerns as he's not had transition sessions and see what they can help with/suggest.

FWIW most kids cope fine in a 'big noisy class' and most classes aren't noisy in FYOS, the teachers keep things low key and calm . Even the sensitive ones adjust quite well. Try and stay positive, you're doing great

[sparkler]

How old is he and has he been to an orientation day for his new school and how big is his new school?

OP my son is starting school and is a bit anxious, I have found talking him through what will happen in the school day and reminding him that his teacher is Ms X and she really likes him (her met her at orientation) helps a little.

I can see he is having a lot of changes at once, maybe make him toasties and snuggle with him and try and settle him a bit.

This post has been edited by sparkler: 18/01/2013, 10:37 PM

[lizzzard]

Poor kiddo...moving house can be quite disorienting...you may well find that a couple of weeks he'll be feeling a lot more settled.

I think many kids will have a bit of a hard time starting school, and in my experience kindy teachers are very used to managing sensitive children and helping them adjust - afterall, schools have a new kindy class each year and there's bound to be at least a few that need some extra help to feel comfortable.

Perhaps make sure you are not letting your little one pick up on your nerves. I found with my daughter (who is also quite shy) I had to be quietly confident - being 'over the top enthusiastic' with her doesn't work - she picks up on the fakeness! Instead I was calm and supportive and always talked positively about school in the few weeks leading up to the first day. She settled in really well with her teacher, I just had to stay with her in the mornings till her class lined up for morning assembly. In no time at all, she loved school. I bet you'll find the same with your son

[Gabbagabba]

No, he hasn't had any orientation sessions here. We just arrived from Melbourne. I'll call the school and ask them to set something up. I've just been trying to keep him occupied. Except for today (too hot) we've been at the zoo or museum or library because he is obsessed with dinosaurs and we'd told him all about the exhibit at taronga as a sweetener before we moved. He knows all the dino names to etc and playing with his dino toys or reading dinosaur books seems to be the only thing that keeps him focused?
I've tried having snuggles with him and reassuring him but he doesn't like cuddles I had some success with dino YouTube clips (ie, calming him down) but then he just wants to watch the same clips over and over. I know I'm really stressed ATM but I have a horrible feeling about this.

[Little Bo Peep]

Does the school have a canteen? They may do toasties? Perhaps pop by the school and ask for a copy of the price list - should be someone in the office at most schools. You may even be able to get him a thermos (kmart do a kids one) and make him a toastie, cut it in quarters it should fit in.

Might also be worth talking to the school and seeing if you can bring your son by during the holidays for a bit of a tour, look around if you havent already.

I would also be getting him a red lunchbox, pencil case, drink bottle, library bag, smock etc - anything that doesnt have to be school colours.

Good luck, it will get easier - its a big change to move state and start school in such a short amount of time, but what a great opportunity for you both to create some new friends.

This post has been edited by Little Bo Peep: 18/01/2013, 10:56 PM

[baddmammajamma]

Hi (again) Sue:

I responded on your other thread about childcare/LDCs. I'm sorry that you feel so overwhelmed with your move. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must be for your sensitive little boy.

Two years ago, I could have written your post. I wasn't surrounded by boxes, but I was so nervous about my daughter starting "big kid" school. She had (and still has) a lot of sensitivities -- your post resonates with me!

A few things that worked for us:

* Social stories -- Taking pictures of the new school, talking about what each day might be like. I'd be happy to go into greater detail, but if you google "Carol Gray Social Stories," you should be able to find some good samples.

* Allowing fixations/comfort items in reasonable dose. If your son is passionate about red & it gives him comfort, perhaps you could find some red items that would make him feel more excited about school (you've done undies, but how about lunch box, water bottle, school supplies?)

* Take advantage of any/all offers from the school to allow him on campus early or to speak with someone from school/spend time on campus before the first big day

To be honest, though, what REALLY helped was our ability to realize that our daughter didn't just have a case of "the nerves" -- and that she was (and still is) a child who needs a bigger social/emotional boost than most of her peers. We didn't want her school experience to get off to a crappy start and have her freaked out for the year.

She really benefitted during her lead up year to school and in her first year of school from a "cool kids/social skills program" designed to help kids who for whatever reason -- social anxiety, sensory issues, ASD, garden variety shyness -- struggle with settling into the school routine with confidence. Best thing we did in her FYOS!

I see from your other post that you are in Turramurra. I am going to PM ("private message") you the name of a wonderful children's (early intervention) centre in Pymble -- that's very close to where you are. They run an absolutely FANTASTIC school readiness program for rising kindergartners & new kindergartners. I have recommended it to several friends with very sensitive children, with much appreciation noted!

Between your unpacking and settling in, I would encourage you to give them a quick call or check out their web site. I am zealous about a few things on EB, and letting parents know that there is good support out there if they need it is one of them!

Good luck with everything.

[Gabbagabba]

Lizzzard I'll find out about staying mornings with him, that's a good idea. And he probably is picking up on my nerves but I've been so frantic since we were told we had to move that I haven't stopped to think about all the niggly things worrying me until tonight.
Little bo peep, He has problems making friends, maybe that's what I'm worried about. He just takes his dinosaurs everywhere and tells people about them. I guess I thought he'd grow out of it? But it's getting worse.

[Little Bo Peep]

Fingers crossed he finds some like minded dinosaur obsessed kids to friend.

[Gabbagabba]

I can defiantly get some (more) red stuff too, it's a public school so I think most bags etc can be whatever you want. But I think:
" We didn't want her school experience to get off to a crappy start and have her freaked out for the year."
is the crux of it I think badmommajamma. We've walked past the school a couple of times but i'll see if we can go in/have a tour. Looking at the social story stuff now and will try that, too.
Also I would love the details of the getting ready for school program. I guess I thought we'd just practice stuff over the hols and play schools etc but its not happening/helping. I'll call them Monday, too. Honestly at this point I'd do anything to get his confidence levels up. I would even keep him home another year if I could. He is a bright kid academically but visibly wilts with lots of people around etc.
I can't believe I let it get to this point. Totally dropped the ball.