[Ireckon]

I have just received a text from some one I have known for 20 odd years. Not close, but we text every once in a while, chat on FB etc. Anyway, the text basically said this person has a terminal medical issue, and has only months left. I don't know how to respond to this, I don't want it to sound pitying or trite, or play it down. This person is married with kids.

I keep writing something along the lines of 'very sorry to hear that' but it just doesn't seem like its enough. I can usually handle social etiquette well, but right now, today, I am a bit lost as to how to respond. I have never met their partner or kids, ( it's someone form early high school yrs).

Simple and to the point is the best here, right?

[Mo2k]

That's terrible news. Can you not call them instead of texting?

[Cranky Old Woman]

I would phone rather than text.

[emwill]

Something along the lines of "Thinking of you and your family, if you need anything just let me know".
Definitely a hard one

[Rachaelxxx]

That really is terrible news, I would call them, I know that wouldn't be an easy thing to do.

[LittleRB]

Don't worry about 'along the lines'... just say what you feel. "I'm devastated to hear this news. Would love to come and see you. Is there anything I can do, want to be there for you if i can".

I would agree a phone call is nicer but considering they sent you a text with the news, I assume they may not be up for phone calls. Sometimes it's easier to discuss things via text as you have time to compose a response rather than break down during a phone call.

So sorry to hear about your friend OP.

[Ireckon]

That's terrible news. Can you not call them instead of texting?

I understand this, but 100% of our contact has been via FB/SMS, so to ring now feels odd as well. Plus I just got another text saying how they hate that everyone keeps ringing to say how are you doing today. So am going to go with the text, let me know if there is anything you need. I usually try my best to keep a bit of humour (similar to Pacey from Dawsons Creek in the last episode, anyone??) and be open about the illness, rather than pretend its all ok.

It's also ( selfish response here ) confronting that someone my age, with a family and all, is going to die.

[MrsWidget]

I'm so sorry, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. I'm here if you need anything, even just an ear.

[tres-chic]

I'm sorry OP, that is devastating news.

Based on your update, if the person really is being bombarded I'd go back with a text saying 'I'm so sorry, can I call you, perhaps later if that would be best? I am 100% here if you need me and again, I am so sorry.'

It's very hard to respond to a message like that in 75 characters or less so if it were me I'd save those sentiments for when you do speak, on the phone or in person.

[belinda1976]

I wouldn't text her back, but if you don't feel comfortable calling perhaps send your friend a card or letter telling them you are thinking of them.

Sorry to hear about your friend.