[littlesticky]

I have a friend with 2 little ones under 2. She has been a great help when my baby came, sharing her experience and lots of baby items for which I am so grateful. She recently asked me to babysit for a night and I feel obliged to do so. I have an 8 month old so DH will look after her, and I'll go over to look after her 2. But I really don't want to. I still have to get up multiple times per night for my bub, and I have to work the next day. And I feel like once I say yes once it'll set a precedent and she'll keep asking (she's brought it up previously, as a reciprocal thing, so she'll babysit mine -bub will have to sleep at her house- and we never go out anyway). I told her I have to work the next day and she kind of brushed it off and said they'll be back by 11 (I can guarantee this won't be the case). What else can I do?

[meggs1]

Do it once (since she helped you) and then if she asks again say you wound up being too tired.

[House.of.blue]

Just say no. I understand you feel obligated but as a mother she should understand. If you don't think you can or don't want to be honest and upfront before she makes plans thinking you will babysit then get upset if you say no. Explain the situation to her and how you feel and if she can't accept it then that's her problem. Please DON'T say yes then cancel on her I hate when people do that especially when you know they had no intentions of helping out :/

[lovealpacas]

Just say no, you can't have a late night before work, and if she offers to babysit to pay you back, just tell her you don't need it thanks. Unless you think you will want to go to an event in the near future and would like her to babysit, I would just politely say no. If she pushes the point, she's being rude.

[Beancat]

I may have read this wrong, but you have to go to her house to babysit her kid when when she reciprocates your child has to go there? Doesnt seem fair. Why can her child come to your house? Would this be easier for you?

[Jjbeanz]

She sounds a bit selfish to me, I would never ask a friend to do that especially when you have a baby yourself and working!

[katpaws]

Why can't your partner do it? Then you could stay home and get an early night.

[littlesticky]

Yeah I suggested DH do it but she doesn't trust him to do a good job. Being so close to the date I think I'll do it once and say it was too much as PP suggested. Thanks for the brainstorm. I wouldn't want her 2 at my place, they're hard to settle and I'll wake my hard to settle bub.

[newkie]

Perhaps do it this one time, but let her know that you don't feel comfortable leaving your own little one yet, so could you maybe postpone anymore babysitting with reciprocal right for another year or so. I'd hate for you to burn your bridges at this early stage, because I can guarantee you there will be a point in time where you will want to make use of her offer to babysit.

I let no one babysit any of my four kids until they were more like 14/15 months and had some communication skills that others could interpret.

[CallMeProtart]

Say you could do it some time on a weekend, if her kids come over to yours. She can come over, get them to bed, and then head off.

Say sorry but you are still waking up multiple times a night and cannot babysit when you have work the next day.

A reciprocal thing is very handy if BOTH people want it. If you don't... make it inconvenient enough for her that she won't either...