[PureBliss]

My strong willed 2.5 year old DD is absolutely running rings around DH and I.

We need practical discipline strategies as what we have tried so far is not working.

We always give a warning of what the consequence will be (often several warnings) before we punish, but our consequences just aren't hitting the mark. Clearly they are not severe enough to deter the behaviour! I need something immediate, as she is too young to get the whole concept of "no ice cream when we are out" or "no play date tomorrow".

Examples we have tried:
"You will be sent to your room" - once sent, she won't stay in there (can reach the door handle), so runs out repeatedly, unless I stand there to lock her in.

Confiscate an item - doesn't work for long, she then becomes defiant and finds something else to throw in retaliation.

I am now taking the approach of confiscating a toy she loves/or whatever item she is misusing and putting it on the top kitchen shelf (she can see it, but not reach it). She is told it will stay there for the rest of the day. Today we have 3 barbies, a barbie car, half her dolls house furniture and the ipad on the top shelf! The ipad hurts the most, as she loves to have that at bedtime. Of course, now bed time is tedious because she doesn't have the ipad, but I am prepared to roll with that (been trying to wean her off it anyway.)

Whilst this is working to a point, I am mindful that it will lose its effectiveness and I will soon have a kitchen shelf full of toys! Any other suggestions?

I also need help with "rewards for smooth bedtime". Most nights it is taking us 90mins to get her to bed, and we are over it.

I should add, she is not a terribly naughty child. She is an angel at childcare, other peoples houses, in public etc. She just seems to be turning it on for Mummy and Daddy!

Thanks in advance

[TopsyTurvy]

Naughty spot Super Nanny style?

If she moves from it, then the time starts over again.

We have the problem in that DS seems happy to go to the naughty spot and sits there and sings and daydreams

[adl]

I shall be watching to see what answers you get..

Same thing here but I remove iPad and iPhone more now as I have noticed behaviour worsens after prolonged screen time...

We remove things, say no and naughty, he gets that and occasionally screams back, we ignore and try reward the good behaviour but its so hard....


I do occasionally place him in his cot and room to calm down.... But think its still too early for time out..


I had to shut his door last night to get him to go to bed, he was exhausted and over tired, losing it , within 2 minutes he was sound asleep...and of course I re opened the door...



Really it's trying to be constant and very repetitive at this age...

[adl]

I find Toddler Taming by Dr Green to be quite useful.... My fav is pick your battles, and remember you are the adult, don't engage ! Lol,

[MaeGlyn]

I have the 3 year old. When he ran away from me a long way away yesterday at the park, I used a naughty spot. Convienient, it was just on the ground.

I explain why he is on the naughty spot.

Any younger than 2.4, I used redirection.

[librablonde]

Naughty spot Super Nanny style?
If she moves from it, then the time starts over again.

Same here. I had to put DS back on our "Thinking Spot" about 100 times one day until he finally stopped either running away or laughing and shrieking as if it were a game. He saw me restart the kitchen timer each and every time. Sitting there screaming and carrying on doesn't count as time served, he needs to be silent so he can "think". Once he learnt I was serious he started really listening to me and do anything to avoid being put on the Thinking Spot. I had to ensure the Spot was free of anything to play with, we made it a clear area in the laundry.

ETA: I started using the Thinking Spot from about 18-20 months or so and DS understood what it was and why he was there.

This post has been edited by librablonde: 16/01/2013, 07:03 PM

[michellew68]

My DD is nearly 2 1/2. We use time out. It is very successful. She gets one warning and then if she repeats the behavior she is in time out. I started it in a small scale when she was about 20 months though. You must sit them somewhere safe and where they cant reach toys. It has to be boring!

I always ask her why mummy is upset with her. If she cant quite articulate it I use simple words to explain. Then leave her 2 minutes. You would have to start off with really short time until she got used to it. When I tell her to get up I remind her what got her in time out. Usually she says sorry mummy.

She doesnt go in near as often now because the threat happens at first warning. I do know this didnt work with one of my DSs though as he didnt care about anything. Some kids are just hard to work out.

I think it is very important for them to understand what they have done wrong. It is very normal for kids this age to do the same things over and over even when you are sure they know it is wrong.
Try to keep a calm voice and have a cuddle after to show her no hard feelings.

[L&E]

Yup, naughty spot/time out/whatever you call it. 1 warning before going in. In the spot for 1 min per year of age. Time restarts if they leave. Completely ignore any conversation/noise while in there. Set a timer so it beeps when the time is up, kneel at their eye level to talk, a quick "you are in time out because you ..... Next time when I ask you to .... you need to ... Can you say sorry to mummy? Thank you, I love you (cuddle and go and play).

I find it stops me from making stupid consequences because I'm mad (right! That's it you can never have dessert ever!/all your toys are gone/no park for a whole week) which I'm probably never going to follow through on anyway.

[LifesGood]

"You will be sent to your room" - once sent, she won't stay in there (can reach the door handle), so runs out repeatedly, unless I stand there to lock her in.

I used to stand there and hold the door closed for my DD if she needed time out.

The ipad hurts the most, as she loves to have that at bedtime. Of course, now bed time is tedious because she doesn't have the ipad, but I am prepared to roll with that (been trying to wean her off it anyway.)

I don't think electronic devices are suitable for 2y/o's except as a very brief diversion occasionally. They are an especially bad idea at bed time as the light, noise and activity stimulates their brain at exactly the wrong time.

I also need help with "rewards for smooth bedtime". Most nights it is taking us 90mins to get her to bed, and we are over it.

Your DD shouldn't need rewards for co-operating at bedtime, you really just need to be more firm with her and not allow her to overrule you.

As your opening sentence says your DD is setting the rules whereas you and your DH should be in charge. A change in your mindset will help. I haven't got any specific advice for you, you really just have to take control and be firm and consistent.

[RachealJane]

My DD will be 3 in April so she is a bit over 2.5 now and the tantrum phase has severely kicked in in the last month to the point i have been too scared some days to even venture out the front door. Its a struggle to get her in the car for instance, or she will chuck a major tanty if she doesnt get a lolly pop at woolies. Normal 2 yo stuff but with so much screaming and crying its beyond embarrassing.

But you know what i cant punish her for these things. I just cant do it. No way am i going to barricade her into her room, that would scare the living crap out of her.

I dont know if im being delusional or even just lucky that because we talk about what happened at the end of each day we can work out what she was feeling in each instance and come to a compromise.

For the car issue she told me she just wants an opportunity to get one last toy to play with and she'll happily be buckled in. For the lolly pop issue she has told me that she needs some snacks when we go shopping because it so boring.

She can talk and express herself really well though so it may not work for all 2.5 yo's to be spoken with like this. I want to teach her to continue to be able to express herself and not quash her exuberance for the sake of compliance.