[Rewom]

hi

my daughter has started this really strange behaviour. I am not sure if it is something she has picked up from other kids or if it is a way of exploring 'things'. basically she gets her doll, when laying down, puts it against herself when she is laying down (between her legs) and kinda rubs it against herself, putting her knees together and apart...

just writing it down makes me feel weird about it... it really does unnerve me, she is our first, so really don't know if this a part of exploring or something more...

anyone....

[babychacha]

My DS used to give his monkey a bit of a go...

He would lie on top of it and rub away. I think he started around the same age. I remeber walking into preschool at sleep time and there were a few kids, "comforting" themselves to sleep.

[tenar]

Sounds like normal exploration to me, but ask your GP or MCHN if you are worried. The doll bit isn't what my kids do, they explore with their fingers. Though I did see one of mine using a funnel and scoop to pour water against herself down there the other day, must have felt nice.

It is a good opportunity to start using accurate descriptive terminology ("that's your vulva") as well as teaching that we don't touch ourselves there when out and about, only at home in private. The start of equipping your child to have good protective behaviours.

[Beltie]

It probably feels nice. Double check that she doesn't have any skin irritation that might be causing itch but this is likely to be something she has discovered that feels good.

Depending how old she is you can talk about things that are private which you do in your own room or the bathroom and things that are ok anywhere.

She's in her own private space doing something that is completely normal.

[Lil Chickens]

DD did this from WELL before 2 - she laid on top of her teddy rubbed herself against it. She got herself to sleep that way most nights! I figure it happened one night by accident and she liked it so kept doing it.

The only concern we had about it was that she 'sleeps hot' anyway (can't have a doona over her until we go to bed, even on a cold night and wears summer PJs year round) and all the teddy rubbing got quite active and sometimes she would be dripping with sweat!

She stopped eventually.

I think 17mo DS does it occasionally too.

ETA DD has started touching herself (usually when I am laying beside her reading her bedtime story) so I have just told her it's okay to do that but only in her own room when no-one is there as her vulva and vagina are her private parts to touch.

This post has been edited by Lil Chickens: 15/01/2013, 10:04 PM

[namie]

A little boy I nannied for a few years ago used to 'hump' quite vigorously against his toy dog from around 18 months of age. He could also work up quite a sweat. The only time his mum and I used to subtly try to get him to stop was if he was on the couch in the living room. We'd encourage him to move to his bedroom.

His sister, the same age, started touching herself with her fingers around the same age, particularly once summer hit as they were just 2 and starting toilet training so were nappy-less most days.

Oddly enough their brother (they're triplets) didn't do anything at all.

[L&E]

Exploring their body is normal, and it feels nice so of course they give it a go!

My son is almost 3 and I have been reading this book to him for a while now, which uses correct terminology and discusses protective behaviours in clear, age appropriate terms. Thought you might be interested?

Edited to try to fix link.

This post has been edited by L&E: 15/01/2013, 10:14 PM

[Lil Chickens]

I got the same book as L&E about 6 months ago. They recommend it for 3 and up. DD would have been a little under 3 an DS sits with us so he's been hearing since about 1!

[Rewom]

thanks for your replies. Do you try and reduce the behaviour? or will it peter out, so to speak? I will take a look at that book. not sure how much she understands, but she is toilet training, so maybe it all feels differently down there...

[namie]

I would just encourage her to go to her bedroom if she wants to do it.
I don't have old enough children, but I imagine it would peter out for a while and then as she enters the teenage years she may start again (although presumably not with a doll) but you may never know about that if she's discreet.