[ashlie369]

Am I a horribly selfish person for being upset that my sister stole the name I have had my heart set on for over 6 years?
I have been planning on naming my first girl child Lillianna for over 6 years, I can't even begin to describe how much I love this name and this is the only name that I have found that I love all the nick names that come with the name, and its so perfect for my child because my favorite flowers have always been lilies.
When my sister first got married the one thing I asked/begged of her was that whatever she did to please not steal that name if she got pregnant before I did, then when we found out she was pregnant I said the same thing to both her and her husband. Though, of course in the end she decided that she’s going to name the child Lillian Raeann. When she first started talking about using the name Lillian we had one small disagreement in which I begged her again to not use the name, I never even raised my voice during the whole discussion but since then she has blown that whole thing out of the water and now says we were arguing etc.

Then last night we went to the grocery store together with our mother and I was being quiet, I wasn’t being p*ssy or anything I just really didn’t really feel like talking, which is normal for me I am not a talkative person, but of course her overly sensitive self decided I was being b**chy, and when my mom asked her how she was going to spell her child’s middle name, she spelled it for her then said, in the sh*ttiest tone you can imagine, something like “Is that why Ashlie’s acting like that because she wanted Raeann for her child’s middle name as well?” ( I’m not sure I got every word in the right spot but that’s pretty accurate) I was actually very proud of myself I stopped myself from telling her that, that is the stupidest name I have ever heard of and I despise it and I would never be caught dead naming my child that. Sorry to any Raeanns’ out there its not that bad of a name, but its not a name I would choose and the way she said it was very sh*tty and that was my automatic response.

Even though I was going to add an extra NA to her name she still took the name I was planning on naming my first girl, and I am hurt because I have continuously begged her over the years not to use that name and the few times I have tried to talk to my mother about it she has freaked out on me and basically told me I am being selfish and I can still name my first girl Lillianna because they aren’t the same name, etc., etc. Of course I CANT name my first girl Lillianna it is the same name just with an extra NA at the end, and Lillian was what I wanted her main nick name to be. So how in the heck could I give my child her cousins name?

I have already made myself deal with losing the name but I would like to at least be able to vent at least once about how my sister doing that hurt my feelings but every time I try to talk to my mom she has made me feel like a horrible person for being upset about it, so my question is am I really such a horrible person for being upset about this? And why the heck does my mom insist that I can still use the name? What would you do if you were in this situation? How many of you would still use the same name?
To answer some of your questions, My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant, my sister is almost 7 months along with a girl. She wanted to name her Kaitlynn Ann at first in honnor of our youngest sister who died while being born and our mother and me who both have the middle name ann(e), but her husband didnt like that name and talked her back into using Lillian. For the record I have not made a fuss about it I talked to her that once about it when she was 2 months along and havent said anything else to her on the subject, she was the one who said something about it last night out of the blue. I love her to much to hate her or hold a grudge I am just hurt especially with her saying sh*tty things to me.

This post has been edited by ashlie369: 14/01/2013, 06:50 PM

[Chedasha]

Tough one in that no one owns a name. Are you pregnant or Ttc? Or us it still just a futuristic thing? Have you outright asked your sister why she chose that name? What has her answer been previously when you asked to just not use it?

Myself personally think there are millions of names out there and I would find another.

[Kickingitcountry]

I would still use the name but I'm like that your sister sounds like the type of person who will chuck a fit when you do I'm sure she won't like it when the shoe is on the other foot . Don't stress your future partner might not like said name anyway so you might not be able to use it

This post has been edited by Kickingitcountry: 14/01/2013, 04:42 PM

[KACMum]

I don't see why you can't use the name. They would be cousins, not sisters. It may even become a lovely connection between them.

[crackles]

It happens. If I were u I wouldn't have said anything in the first place about the name then they probably wouldn't have ever thought of it. And if they happened to fluke on it it's not their fault.

U can still use u're name for ur girl if u have one otherwise just name her something else. Nothing else u can do really

[PrincessPeach]

My BIL has the exact same name as one of his cousins, so I'd still use it.

[protart roflcopt...]

So she stole it from you, which must mean you owned it. How much did it cost you, you could ask her to pay it back?

Oh...wait.....

[tel2]

i know how you feel. My DH cousin who lives half way across the world (who I never met) named his little girl the name I was planning for my second child. My second child turned out to be a boy so i got over it pretty quickly, but before finding out I was having a boy, I was upset about the name thing. I've never met this cousin so I know he didn't do it on purpose, it was just coincidence.

Name you first born whatever name you like. On my stepdad's big side of the family I had about 4 cousins named Joe...(joe was my stepdad's fathers name). We all had nicknames for them....big joe, little joe etc...to tell them apart.

Another thing you can do is use the name Lillianna as a middle name instead of a first name.

[Sunnycat]

Has she had the child? Have they found out that it's a girl?

Let her use it, you can still use Liliiana.

Although no one owns a name, I still think it can be poor form to name a child a name that someone close to you, desperately wants to use. Of course it depends on the circumstances though.

I think your feelings are valid but you need to somehow find peace and move on.

[la di dah]

You can use the name if you want. It all depends what you are comfortable with. I'm cool with matching initials or similar sounds, with cousins.

I think everyone's allowed one vent.

I think your mom is probably just trying to say it's a bit late. You can't un-name a born baby, even if your sister IS rude and annoying. You can only decide how you feel about Lillianna going forward.

I think you could probably irritate your sister more by just losing interest in it, really. ("I did like it...for awhile... it was very on trend...") But you can't control how you feel.