[Guest_divineM_*]

Over the last few days a secret has been revealed within my family of origin which has been pretty devastating to all. I have been asked not to tell this to anyone outside our family ie not even my DP. We always tell each other everything! This revelation ahs been horrible for me and i have found it hard to hide this from him. he keeps asking me questions about whether i'm ok etc. at times I feel like I'm going to burst out crying but obviously can't without alarming him. Really struggling with this at the moment. Can't discuss it with anyone except two other family memebrs who are equally upset, but I don't wantt o go against my word. What would you do?

Thanks all for replying. Good to hear all the different perspectives. After reading it all and thinking some more I have decided not to tell DH. This is because it's something he does not need to know, I'm now coping better and it will not affect our marriage. If he was to find out eventually, as some PP suggested, he will not hold it against me. I would also hate to think that every time I tell someone something it automatically means their DP finds out...Thanks again

This post has been edited by divineM: 18/01/2013, 09:11 AM

[TillyTake2]

My husband is my family so he gets rights to anything I want to tell him.

[Two-one-two]

Your husband is your immediate and closest family ..... what would you want him to do in the same circumstance??

[Freddie'sMum]

I'd go back to the people who have asked you NOT to tell your DP - say that is affecting your relationship with him - you don't keep secrets from each other and you are going to tell DP.

Then tell DP.

I couldn't stand it if there was a secret (of that much importance) between DH & I.

[Apageintime]

My husband is my family so he gets rights to anything I want to tell him.

same here, DH and I dont do 'big' secrets.

[G.K]

I would tell my husband.

I'm not sure if that's the right or wrong thing to do, but it sounds like you need support.

[I*Love*Christmas]

My DH is my family so I would tell him. By the sounds of your post this secret is huge in which case it will probably be revealed over time and your DP will end up finding out. You are better off telling him now.

[PrincessPeach]

I'd tell my DH.

We discuss everything & I have been told a lot of things I'm not supposed to know. My DH is great at keeping things to himself & not telling all & sundry, plus he is my sounding board.

If it is that bad that it is upsetting, then he needs to know, simply so he can support you through this difficult time.

[darcswan]

If a friend/family member had asked me to keep a secret I would... Unless it somehow directly affected or involved me.

It sounds like this is something that will have an effect on your life, so I think you should just tell your partner.

[elegie]

I agree, you need to tell him. Whether you ask him to pretend he doesn't know, or go back and tell the rest of your family that you will/have told him, is up to you.