[jm3]

My daughter turns 13 this year.

Some of her friends have FB but most don't. I have it and use it most days but I'm not a big poster.

I want to protect my daughter from the issues I hear about all too often which affect teenage children and social media.

I have told her I would rather her be teased for not being on FB than be teased 'on' FB if that makes sense.

So far, she understands and agrees but I'm sure this won't always be the case.

What have been your experiences so far?

[Curly Wurly]

DD1 has shown no interest in FB. DD2 is in Year 7 this year, totally different personality so I know I will have issues. At the moment it is "all my friends have a mobile phone why cant I?". I am not sure how I will deal with it either.

[busymum01]

Us, we've said no to our soon to be 14 year old first with Messenger, then FB and a phone.... Nasty parents we are!

[mez70]

My eldest children turn 12 this year and they both have friends etc who are on FB. i have said noas FN states you need to be 13 etc and that we will readdress it. One thing I do find id that my DD is slightly disadvantaged by not being on FB as her Calisthenics team have a closed group where routines and work etc get uploaded to, club messages etc all go through, and as I don't want her to have access to my main page it can be hard when she wants to watch the new work without everyone being around.

The way I look at it there are other means and ways of messaging and chatting on line and FB is just one of them. I know my DD and a few of her friends have a program called "kick" I think which is like an instant messaging service on the Ipods (mind you the WiFi has to be on for to access it, and even some of the more innocent games like Moshi Monsters and Club Penguin has message boards etc as I know there was a bit of bullying a few years ago at the kids school using the message pages of MM.

I guess the best you can do is be open and honest about it, explain that once stuff is out there it cannot be retrieved and teacher her Cyber safety and about privacy settings etc. 1 rule I have is that I must know any passwords to email address etc so that at anytime I can pick up an Ipod, log into their email etc to check what is going on etc.. I don't want to "ban" it as such as I have sometimes found that banning something only makes them want it more ..

Good luck

[ms flib]

My almost 13 DS isn't interested and I won't be letting him use it for as long as possible. He's got better things to do!

[jm3]

Yes, my daughter is quite good and doesn't really argue. She knows that I will look at ipod/phone at any time and if there's anything that shouldn't be it will be taken away. She had instagram for a while but I am so not into 'selfies' and kids trying to look older than they are so I banned that one.

Agree Mez70 - my daughter is in a similar situation and so I would like her to have it for that reason but then it gets out of hand with hundreds of 'friends' and I just don't want to encourage it.

[FoxyRetro*Gal]

Our second dd just entered the world of Facebook last week when she turned 15. It was a birthday promise. She was probably one of the last in her group to get it but there were no tantrums over it, just the occasional pester. I'm glad we were able to put it off, at 13 she was too immature.

[ubermum]

I don't have my own teenager, but I do have a 16yo in the house. Given her circumstances, I am pretty lenient with facebook, so long as I am on her friends list and have access to the account.

When my daughters want facebook, so long as they are in high school, they will be allowed but with conditions. I must have complete and total access to the account at any time I choose. I must not only be their friend, but friends with everyone on their friends list. Any attempted deletion, hiding or deception on facebook will result in the removal the right to use it for a certain amount of time. These rules are the ones used by my friend who has very good control of her 14yo. The reason she is friends with all her daughters friends on facebook is because when her daughter set up a secret account, she found out because she kept getting a friend recommendation. Clever. Also, if I in any way thought it was adversely affecting my child in any way, I would shut it down.

I think it is important they get the opportunity to use it, simply because it is such a large part of teenagers social lives today.

[howdo]

DD1 will be 13 in 5 months and I have been teaching her how to be cybersafe in preparation for Facebook which she desperately wants. I see no reason not to allow it, I have it and I would be a hypocrite to not allow her. It's a significant part of her church youth group, dance school and, according to her, life in general and I see no problem with Facebook as she has been taught how to use it responsibly. I see no value in keeping this from her as she may very well then decide to keep it from me.

This post has been edited by howdo: 13/01/2013, 09:47 PM

[i-candi]

My DS turns 14 later this year and I've told him NO Facebook. Seems there are so many issues with Facebook, I don't have any issues but I'm not a teen.

DS doesn't care as he isn't into other people or groups of people.

I don't restrict other computer stuff and he is a member of Whirlpool and such. DH keeps an eye on him and after one post we've told him that he can't respond to posts until he shows us that he is more mature. The post in question wasn't too bad but you've got to set boundaries. It's working but then DS is very compliant.

DS spent a long car trip googling uni options and megatronics, nano technology and robotics were on the top of his list. He just needs a very high TER - apparently 91 to get into his preferred lol. Nothing like a bit of pressure when you are about to enter your second year of high school lol