[OneProudMum]

My sister is at her wits end with her boy mad 14 year old daughter.

She has a different boyfriend every couple of days and her phone contact list is filled with boy contacts. She has FB with several messages to different boys. She is not sexually active (to our knowledge) but she messages boys in sexual tones which she will often instigate.

She likes a lot of attention from boys and her behaviour is very flirtatious towards boys (including her brother's friends).

The hardest part is teaching her what is appropriate and what isn't but allowing her to explore being a teenager.

I have spoken to her about it myself and she can identify the difference between "normal" girls who have crushes etc. and other girls whose friendship she keeps that are similar to her.

Does anyone have any experience or any tips? My sister is not coping well at all.

This post has been edited by OneProudMum: 11/01/2013, 05:44 PM

[Apageintime]

I was similar as a teen, looking back now it was really that I wanted any positve attention I could get, my Mumwas always so cranky!

Not saying her mum is like this, but maybe some extra positive attention from her family wouldn't go astray.

[hanz33]

I was similar as a teen, looking back now it was really that I wanted any positve attention I could get, my Mumwas always so cranky!

Not saying her mum is like this, but maybe some extra positive attention from her family wouldn't go astray.

I was the same as a teen and my dad was always cranky at me (he has brain damage which led him to outbursts of anger) and mum tried to keep us very sheltered. Neither of them were there for me emotionally so I got it from boys.

Not saying that is the same as your friends situation but maybe they need to look at what they are doing wrong as appose to what is wrong with their child.



This post has been edited by hanz33: 18/01/2013, 04:27 PM

[happening]

She is not sexually active (to our knowledge) but she messages boys in sexual tones which she will often instigate.

She likes a lot of attention from boys and her behaviour is very flirtatious towards boys (including her brother's friends).

Ummmm - I'd err on the side of caution here.

A parent is often the last to know if their child is sexually active and 14 is not unusually young.

[starsg]

I agree with PP's, could be an attention seeking thing if she feels insecure or that her parents aren't spending enough time with her, or else to he honest it sounds like normal teenage hormones at play (possibly at the more extreme end of the scale though).

does she have social interactions with boys as friends through sport or a hobby? or is she solely fixated on them in a romantic sense? if her parents try to gently direct her towards forming healthy friendships with boys through a sport or youth group type thing she may tone it down a bit and see them more as friends as well as potential boyfriends.

does she have access to contraception in case she is sexually active? I had friends at 14 who were VERY sexually active and their parents were absolutely none the wiser, this may not be the case here but it's important that she gets a safe sex reminder and that she has access to condoms etc if this does become an issue.

I would also have a serious chat with her about sexting and sending pictures, hopefully she is not silly enough to be sending explicit photos but definitely remind her of some potential consequences, a vindictive ex spreading the photos or them ending up on the Internet, as well as it being the production and distribution of child pornography.