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> Routines for teens?

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3mummy3
post 10/01/2013, 09:47 PM
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I have two boys aged almost 14and 12 (also dd8 and ds 5mths). My boys have always been pretty smart, not top of the class but up there iykwim, but they dont put much effort into their school work. The eldest started high school last year and while he had some fantastic results in some subjects, he did also have some fairly poor results too(as in assessments with 60-70% gradings).
I think he can do alot better on the whole if he spent more time on homework rather than leaving things to the last minute which he always seemed to do last year.
My 12 yo also left things to the last minute, usually spending friday morning frantically trying to do the weeks homework due that day. He will start highschool this year and i am pretty worried that he will struggle because he is very unorganised.
Now i am well aware that i need to step up as a parent and put some strategies in place to help them both reach their full potential, limiting xbox and ipod usage for a start, but not sure exactly how to go about this?
So my question is what sort of homework routines do my fellow ebers have in place for their teens? Do you just leave them to manage themselves, have strict routines in place with set homework times, limits on using electronic devices etc? What time is bedtime? Do you take electronic devices out of bedrooms of a night time? Any other ideas for helping teens reach their full potential?
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treetree
post 11/01/2013, 01:33 AM
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We have children of various ages, but I try to keep the routine similar for all. So for eg. 7 is reading time, whether you are reading a picture book or a text book.

So, homework is at 6. Even if you don't have homework. Revise something, do extra reading, or learn something new. My kids aren't allowed screens of any type on school nights full stop, but not getting homework/chores etc done throughout the week means no screens on weekends either. Extra chores, or early bedtimes are given to those who don't do their homework intentionally, or procrastinate, or are rude/whingy while doing it.

It sounds kinda strict written down but it's really not, however, like you I don't think mine apply themselves enough either, so this year I am insisting they bring homework each night whether the teacher gave it to them or they choose a textbook to revise, whatever, but they need to bring something, because last year all I would get was "We don't have any" and I don't believe this to be true. Anyone who doesn't bring something will be subject to boring 'mum' homework that I create!

Sorry, my post is a bit all over the place, very tired, think I shall sleep now!
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galba
post 11/01/2013, 01:53 AM
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For my eldest 2 DS13 and DS11 there are no electronic gadgets allowed during the school week. They have their basic phones for school but that's it until Friday afternoon.

If they have no homework then I give them something - could be reading a newspaper article and telling me all about it, sorting notes/paper/folders out and getting organised, planning for the next assessment/test etc - maximum 45 minutes.

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PubertyBlues
post 11/01/2013, 07:06 AM
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I firmly believe that teens need to be given the space and opportunity to complete homework and study etc without me sitting on top of them. My kids like to wind down after school and they have a lot of afterschool activities, and for us, it works best if I'm not having to stress at that them at different times of day to get it done.

So we have a few basic rules:

- no xbox Monday to Thursday (inclusive)
- iPods and phones etc are kept in a locked box (it has a lockable lid and all the necessary chargers in there - it's a clear Perspex box which means that I can see at a glance that they have put everything in there when told to do so - from 8.00pm until they are standing in front of me ready to go to school. It means that their phones are always properly charged and prevents them coming out and grabbing them for some late night Facebooking after we are in bed - grrrrrrr...
- at 8.00pm they do "prep" so they go into their room and do homework, revision, read etc. Their electronic items are in the locked box being charged for the next day.
- lights out at 9.15pm

The routine of prep means that they know what is expected of them. If they choose not to do their homework, then they suffer the consequences that the school dishes out.

We also reward them for grades, which I remind them about regularly so they know the connection between good prep choices and money.

On the very positive side, it means that "adult time" in this house starts at 8.00pm.


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FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...
post 11/01/2013, 07:49 AM
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I'm going to bookmark this thread!

PubertyBlues, where did the Perspex box come from... sounds like something our household could benefit from.
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PubertyBlues
post 11/01/2013, 08:34 AM
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I actually had it made. We used to have like an intray with a bulldog clip holding all the leads and chargers on the end and the idea was the same - all "i items" as we call them - go in the green box before prep.

But then I would have the struggle in the morning because the first thing they would do was retrieve their items and not get ready, miss the bus etc.

So one morning I got up and went to put the items on my dressing gown pocket, so I could hand them out when they were ready to go... only to find that one teen had "forgotten" to put his phone in - but had left the case there so I thought he had put it in - and naturally he hadn't "forgotten" to take it to bed. The other one had gotten up for the loo in the night and just took his with him back to bed for some late night Facebooking.

Hmmmmm.......

I didn't lose my temper - just put my creative parenting hat on and called a few places and had a box made with a lockable lid and that's what we do now.

Will try to post a pic. It has a lockable door that they use to put the items in, and a slot at the back where the chargers fit through - big enough for the chargers but small enough that the items can't be taken out.

I have changed it slightly since then - have added a flocked bottom and a charger storage pad so it all looks a bit neater. It's big enough to hold all their phones, iPods, handheld devices etc.

I have considered having them made to sell. I wonder if people would buy them? I wonder what they would pay?

http://m.flickr.com/lightbox?id=8368949706

This post has been edited by PubertyBlues: 11/01/2013, 08:37 AM
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Sassy Girl
post 11/01/2013, 08:47 AM
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I have four children from 20 down to 13. I do not believe in routines for babies, children or teenagers. I have never followed a routine so how can I expect them to.

By the time children are 13 they should be able to complete their homework in their own time without prompting.

You have to remember your child probably isn't doing as well as you think he should as he's now competing against more children compared to primary school.

This post has been edited by Sassy Girl: 11/01/2013, 08:48 AM
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howdo
post 11/01/2013, 08:57 AM
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I sound like a slack a*se parent ... ph34r.gif
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3mummy3
post 11/01/2013, 09:03 AM
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QUOTE (howdo @ 11/01/2013, 09:57 AM) *
I sound like a slack a*se parent ... ph34r.gif


How so?
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3mummy3
post 11/01/2013, 09:18 AM
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QUOTE (Sassy Girl @ 11/01/2013, 09:47 AM) *
I have four children from 20 down to 13. I do not believe in routines for babies, children or teenagers. I have never followed a routine so how can I expect them to.

By the time children are 13 they should be able to complete their homework in their own time without prompting.

You have to remember your child probably isn't doing as well as you think he should as he's now competing against more children compared to primary school.


I agree they should be able to manage their homework, but in my boys case they cant so thats why i am looking for suggestions to help them!

As for competing against more kids in highschool, i dont think that is relevant at all. I couldnt care less what kind of marks other kids are getting, i just want my boys to acheive their best results possible. When looking at some of ds's poorer marks he seems to be losing alot of marks for things like forgetting to answer whole questions, presentation, not including enough info or pictures etc. He knows the work, he is just rushing through things and therefore losing marks for silly things! I certainly dont expect him to be getting all marks in the 90's but a 60 sure doesnt cut it for me! Although he did get a 50% on an art task which i wasnt too fussed about, he tried, hes just no good at drawing, nor am i.

This post has been edited by 3mummy3: 11/01/2013, 09:21 AM
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