[miss_heidi]

i know this baby needs to come out at some stage, but as the date nears i am getting more and more terrified by the labour/birth process.

for some reason, i watched "There's one born every minute" a couple of weeks ago and probably shouldnt have... It terrified me. Plus all the stories I read and hear of traumatic birth...

I have tried to find a doula to have someone to talk to about this, or to be there at the birth to support, but that is proving incredibly problematic too.. I have contacted sooooo many, more than 10, and 3 have replied to me, and only one is available and im still waiting for her to call me back I dont know why i thought that woudl be an easier process also!

Anyway how did you get through your fears, and were they realised? Did it end up being a easier process than you thought, or worse? I have ordered the birth books (active birth and birth skills) but to be honest im still pretty terrified, so much so im starting to hope that the doctor tells me i need a caesar so I dont have to go through the ongoing trauma (please dont chastise me)...

[miss_heidi]

Also I am in GP shared care, so no continuity in my care with midwives (which has really added to this fear i think), and ill be delivering in a delivery suite rather than a comfy room with a bath or home birth....

[crankybee]

Couldn't read and not reply. Birth was a million times easier than I thought it would be - you will be fine. A Doula is good but if you can't get one you will still be fine.

[crankybee]

Couldn't read and not reply. Birth was a million times easier than I thought it would be - you will be fine. A Doula is good but if you can't get one you will still be fine.

[happynow]

Im sorry i have no advice to give you . I am feeling the same way as you and this is my third pregnancy. For some reason this time round i am really worried about going into labour even though my last two labours were really good . Will you have support people going in with you ?

[R2B2]

Just keep in mind that the pain doesn't last forever.

stop watching One born if it freaks you out.

You will get through it. it wont last forever. and the bonus is lovely newborn snuggles at the end.

[Jenflea]

Your body was designed for giving birth. It really is a natural thing, MILLIONS of women have done so in the past, and millions will in the future. Some even do it more than once!

Yes it hurts, but it's a pain with a PURPOSE, giving you a tiny, perfect baby.
Pain relief is amazing, I almost cried when I wasn't allowed a second pethidine shot lol, it made me feel so good.
It's natural to be scared shi*less because it's the unknown, but you can DO IT!!

And I'd far rather push a baby out of my vagina then have one cut out of me(I'm a bit squeamish about being cut open lol).
You may also find that the midwife on duty is an amazing woman, who helps you enormously during the birth. Mine was.

[Zeppelina]

For me, it was neither harder nor easier than I expected, as throughout the pregnancy I kept reminding myself that I cannot possibly know what to expect until I am actually experiencing it. This helped me not get too fearful. Another recommendation for calmbirth classes, too. They were amazing, for me.

And also the mantra, "No labour has ever lasted forever!" - the pain will pass, each contraction will pass, and before you know it it'll all be done.

[froglett]

Op there are a couple of things that I'd recommend. The first is for you & your DH to attend a calm birth class. Without a doubt it was the best $ pre delivery we spent. Really really helped us be calm and confident about the birth, and made us closer.
The other thing is to jump into the birth stories forum and read the many wonderful stories from other members. Don't read the traumatic & disappointing forum though - I found that just scared me!
In all honesty birth can be what you make of it. Whilst for me it wasn't text book perfect (ended up emergency CS), I actually loved being in labour. That's not to say it wasn't challenging (it ain't called labour for nothing!), it was, but it was all about bringing our baby into the world
Oh, and for me, I found that the whole thing felt like it was in fast forward, seemed to be over in a flash.

[noi'mnot]

It's normal to be terrified of birth. It's a big deal, it's scary, it hurts, you've never done it before. You need to remember, though, that the odds are on your side - it won't last too long, it will all go smoothly, you will have a wonderful little baby at the end of all the hard work.

Read positive birth stories. Read them over and over again. Surround yourself with stories of positive birth, learn from the strategies of other women, block out any stories that you hear/read that are negative. Bookmark positive stories and keep on reading them again and again.

Also, get your partner to read some of these positive stories and to do some research for himself on how to best support you through the birth process.

And remember, you can do it!